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How do you feel that it affected you? What is your relationship like (in childhood and now)? How do you think the presence of multiple children affected the parenting you received, your individual relationship with your parents, and your parents' relationship with eachother? What aspects of having a sibling did/do you enjoy, and what things have been unpleasant or detrimental? Also- do you anticipate that caring for your aging parents will be shared equally among the siblings?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SweetPotato</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420592"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How do you feel that it affected you? What is your relationship like (in childhood and now)? How do you think the presence of multiple children affected the parenting you received, your individual relationship with your parents, and your parents' relationship with eachother? What aspects of having a sibling did/do you enjoy, and what things have been unpleasant or detrimental?</div>
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I have four siblings. The oldest two have a lot of problems and caused a great deal of conflict in the home. One was a "wild child," who got kicked out of the house at 17. There was fighting in the house all the time, and my own perception, sometimes, that I was actually in not-so-safe situations, based on what this sibling was doing. Another is narcissistic and manipulative and caused, again, a HUGE amount of family stress and fighting, although this was after we were all adults.<br><br>
I never felt like I was missing any attention--I was the youngest by a lot, and a star in school, and my parents were much more financially secure when I came along, so I always felt like I had plenty of attention and resources. I know that this was not the case for all my siblings, though, especially the middle two, who often felt left out, ignored, or short-changed (the oldest two got lots of negative attention; I got lots of positive attention).<br><br>
In childhood, I was very close to the next sibling up--we hung out a lot and had a lot of fun, despite a considerable age difference. At the same, the age difference meant that we could not do all the same things, had different friends, and that she was at college when I was still a kid. Now we are reasonably close, insofar as we get along and speak on the phone maybe once every week or two. I don't think we have one of those "best friend" relationships, though. We get along, but my spouse--and to a much lesser extent my mom--is the person I depend on for support.<br><br>
My closest relationship as a child was with my best friend, who was "like a sister" to me. I actually think that relationship was much more important and central than my relationships with my siblings--and also free of all the rivalry, drama, and baggage that some of my sibling relationships had.<br><br>
Dh (who has one sibling) and I have chosen to have an only.
 

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Hmm... this is a tough question. Growing up my brother & I fought constantly, over everything and anything. But we also had a lot of fun together - we're almost exaclty 2 yrs apart, and played a lot as kids together. He always seemed to have more friends over (although, tbh, I can only think of 1 or 2 of his friends that came over on a regular basis, and really one of them was a mutual friend...), at least while we were younger, and I was the constant 'tag along little sister' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">.<br><br>
I can't imagine not having grown up with my brother, and am very glad he's around now. My mom & I don't get along very well at all, and so I can only assume that later on she will be his responsibility, while I will more or less take care of my dad (we live with him, and have for thep ast 3 yrs, so we obviously get aglong :p)
 

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I have four siblings. From the oldest to youngest, we were all within eight years of each other. Four girls, one boy (he was the oldest), I was the fourth child.<br><br>
I have always had a very close relationship with my siblings, mainly my sisters. We are all close, but we have very different relationships with each other. There were conflicts between different siblings at different times (for example, my oldest sister and next oldest sister shared a room and often fought as teenagers) but for the most part, we all got along. I was very close to my younger sister as a child (we were a year apart) - we shared friends, doubled to the prom, etc. We are still very close (talk daily), but I am also now very close to my two older sisters, also. My brother and I were close most of our childhood but we've drifted apart in recent years and we just usually email and see each other at family gatherings. Two of my sisters live within a mile of me with their families, though, and we see each other often. They are my best friends without a doubt.<br><br>
I had a wonderful childhood. I felt very loved, had a slew of playmates in my own family (and our house was kind of the neighborhood hangout, so there were always other kids around too). My mom did a good job of listening and talking and making each of us feel special. I never felt like she was spread too thin. She was just always available for us. We took long family vacations every summer - usually camping - that required a long drive in a big old van and we used to sing songs along the way. Seriously. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> We did not have much money, but my parents made a huge effort to make memories and make things fun. My parents encouraged us to support and protect each other and really drove home the idea that family is first.<br><br>
My parents' marriage probably suffered a bit through all this because they were so "family" focused and short on cash that they never took a vacation on their own or even had evenings out alone. They are still married, but I feel like they grew apart when they had kids and are now getting to know each other again in retirement.<br><br>
My Dh and I have three kids now and plan to have another.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SweetPotato</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420592"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How do you feel that it affected you? What is your relationship like (in childhood and now)? How do you think the presence of multiple children affected the parenting you received, your individual relationship with your parents, and your parents' relationship with eachother? What aspects of having a sibling did/do you enjoy, and what things have been unpleasant or detrimental? Also- do you anticipate that caring for your aging parents will be shared equally among the siblings?</div>
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I am the youngest of four. My siblings are 13, 8, and 5 years older than me. My parents divorced when I was 3 and my eldest sibling (sister) moved out very quickly after that and the the two boys in the middle mostly lived with my dad except for short periods where they stayed with my mom. My siblings were exceptionally abusive towards me. My mother was unable to balance attention between her children and would 'play favorites' to the point of sending the out of favor child(ren) to live with other people for a while. I only lived with my dad once for six weeks because my parents divorced because my father molested my sister.<br><br>
At this point one brother is dead (suicide) and my other brother I can only sort of talk to but at least he is in a healthier place in his life than he has ever been. He has a lot of issues with me because he blames me for my father and brother committing suicide (I prosecuted my father for molesting me and father and brother killed themselves rather than deal with the fall out). My sister is a severely abusive drug addict and alcoholic and I have no contact with her. I don't anticipate doing anything for my mother because she is also severely abusive; at this point I have zero contact with her. It kind of looks like she will end up living with my sister and I think they deserve one another.<br><br>
Uhm, I'm not a good example of sibling relationships. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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I have a younger sister. I don't have contact with her or anyone else in my family.<br><br>
We did not get along growing up and my mom did a lot to keep us this way. We had opposite personalities, 5 year age gap and my mom's bad parenting didn't help. We were compared a lot (I was the smart one, she was the pretty one). My mom did a lot of the "I wish I had only had you, or two of you and none of her" bullshit. She also used to let her tease me relentlessly, particularly about weight, never stepping in. She just did nothing to help the relationship. There would often be plans for us to play together and the moment her friends knocked on the door she would be allowed to ditch me for them. So really there was nothing to enjoy about it.<br><br>
I spent a lot of time parenting my mom as a kid so now that I've cut off all ties I have no intention of parenting her further as an adult.<br><br>
Regardless, I have two daughters myself, have a son on the way and am planning at least one more after this! I parent my kids a lot differently than my mom did.
 

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I was the oldest of 3 children. I have a sister that is 1.5 years younger than I am and a brother that was 3 years younger than I was. They were close as children. I got along better with my brother than my sister. My sister has always been a wild child and in trouble with the law for as long as I can remember. They both were known for doing things they shouldn't have as children. When they were 3 and 4 yo they set my parents car on fire with matches. When they were 5 and 6 we lived at the back of a new car lot- they went over with neighborhood kids and let the air out of all the tires. They got more beatings that I could imagine. I was the "good" child - I stayed in my room and read, got straight A's in school, etc.. never did drugs, drank, smoked or hung out with the wrong kids. My sister ended up expelled from a vocational school at 14 for dealing drugs. she's been in prison several times and she's in her 40s now.<br>
My brother died when he was 21 from a heart condition- he needed a transplant.<br>
My sister and I haven't spoken in 8 years since my mom died. I had no interest in having her be a part of my life before then and she doesn't have a clue where I live at this point. There's no reason for her to.<br>
As far as caring for my parents when they grew older, I cared for my dad when he was diagnosed with lung cancer and he died 13 years ago. My mom moved in with me the year after he died and she lived with me until she died 5 years later from lung cancer. Both of them were long term smokers. My sister didn't assist in any caring of our parents - other than to come over and steal from them. My brother had already been dead almost 10 years by that point.<br>
After my brother died, I dealt with a lot of depression from losing him- we had grown closer after we became adults and I had children, but it was a very short period of time.. and at this point I feel like I'm an only child.<br><br>
My 2 children are now adults, 21 and 23. They never got along as children- my son has aspergers and it has effected their relationship greatly. They are there for each other when it's a necessity - for instance he drove my daughter to the hospital when she was in labor with her baby - but other than that, they do better not being together. I don't see that changing.
 

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I am the oldest of three and have five children and this thread is making me sad.<br><br>
I thought we all got along and I don't know of any issues but my younger sister doesn't speak to anyone in the the family. I have promised my mother she can live in my basement if she needs but we both know I don't have a basement. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> I'd extend the same offer to my father.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rightkindofme</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420907"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My siblings were exceptionally abusive towards me.</div>
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This reminds me: My oldest sibling (the manipulative one) was not abusive toward me, but was toward two of my sisters (verbally, emotionally, to some extent physically). They both have some horrible memories of growing up with him.
 

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I am #5 out of 6 children. My mother, bless her heart, was overwhelmed with having so many kids. She wanted to have her tubes tied after 4. Anyway, my older brother was high needs, and I was such an easy going child, that my needs often got overlooked. For example, I had to give away my dog, but then right after that my brother got a dog and was allowed to keep it (and they were both Labs, so it wasn't a difference in breed.)<br><br>
Also my brother was suicidal for awhile and threatened to OD on pills. My mom hid the pills IN MY ROOM and I was responsible for whether or not he found them. Once he locked himself in the bathroom and threatened to kill himself. I was about 10. My mom told ME to call 911 instead of calling them herself. There was a lot of stress and heavy responsibility on me like that.<br><br>
I had good relationships with all of my siblings growing up (there was always someone to play with). My brother taught me how to ski and how to drive a car. But now, for multiple reasons, I am barely friends with any of them.<br><br>
I won't be taking care of my parents, frankly. My siblings will, though, especially my younger sister.
 

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These comments are making me kind of sad too.<br><br>
I have one sister who is 3 1/2 years younger than me. As children we would sort of fluctuate between being close and being in different developmental stages. When I left home for college there was a bit of a gap in our relationship but now as adults she is one of the most important people in my life even though we are very different in a lot of ways.<br><br>
My parents made a point of fostering the relationship between us as children. They showed no favoritism ever, they were very balanced. They impressed on us the idea that as sisters we were a team who needed to look out for each other. As the older sister I did a lot more of the protecting but as adults we support one another equally. I really credit my parents for emphasizing our relationship, they nurtured the bond between us and with that gave us an invaluable gift.<br><br>
My parents divorced I was 10 and my sister was 7 and at that point, when we were under that strain, our relationship became even more important. We traveled back and forth between our parent's houses and depended on one another during those difficult times. I imagine in the future as our parents age we will be leaning on each other again.<br><br>
We live across the country from each other now and I miss her very much but we talk on the phone regularly and I can't imagine my life without her support and affection.<br><br>
I have two children now myself, 4 years old and 2 months old. I hope I can give them what my parents gave me because I think a strong sibling relationship is a unique and wonderful thing.<br><br>
Miss Chris
 

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I'm the oldest of 4; I have sisters 2 1/2 years and 6 years younger, and a brother 20 years younger.<br><br>
I wasn't close with my sisters, actually fought violently and constantly with one of them. I just didn't have much in common with the other one. One sister is bipolar with social anxiety and ocd and required almost all of my parents' attention. She wasn't diagnosed until she was 22.<br><br>
My mom stayed home with us because my sister couldn't handle daycare or school. My parents were under a lot of financial stress.<br><br>
I was mortified when my mom got pregnant when I was 20 but my baby brother was fun to play with and take places.<br><br>
BUT, that sister and I are close now. It didn't happen until we both had kids. My parents are still together and doing fine. I couldn't imagine being an only child or having different siblings. This is my family.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SweetPotato</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15420592"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">How do you feel that it affected you? What is your relationship like (in childhood and now)? How do you think the presence of multiple children affected the parenting you received, your individual relationship with your parents, and your parents' relationship with eachother? What aspects of having a sibling did/do you enjoy, and what things have been unpleasant or detrimental? Also- do you anticipate that caring for your aging parents will be shared equally among the siblings?</div>
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I am the oldest of 4 children, I have 2 younger sisters and a younger brother. My sister R is 3 years younger, my sister E is 3 years younger and my brother T is 12 years younger.<br><br>
I'm close to my sisters , we had some friends in common even though of the age differences as kids. I am very shy and they're the outgoing ones but they'll still include me in whatever thing they were up to. My brother was the baby of the house, I was pretty much annoyed by him, he was the most difficult baby I've ever met. He's 20 years old and he's so immature that it's just ridiculous. He was born at a time were my parents had no financial difficulties, he had it easy.<br><br>
I left in 1999 and he was 9 years old, I love him but I don't see myself having a very deep relationship with him like I have with my sisters. I barely know him, I've lived away from him for 11 years and I see him twice or three times a year becuase he lives in Australia.<br><br>
I think my parents were able to divide their attention between the 4 of us. I'm very close to my mom and I've always been she's always there for support and it doesnt matter if I call her at 2am she's there with the best advice she can give. I think I will be the one taking care of my parents when they're older but I really don't know but I doubt my brother will.<br><br>
My parents had a great relationship, I never saw them fighting even when times were hard, but they were never by themselves.<br>
Now that the 4 of us are out of home, they grew closer. I think they are at their best moment.
 

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I didn't have siblings growing up. I'm was a only child.<br><br>
Parents divorced when i was 18. My dad re-married. My step siblings are 17,16, and i think 13. My dad didn't have any more kids just me.<br><br>
I have a half brother and half sister * usually just refer to as my brother and sister"<br>
I was 22/23 roughly when they were born and already had a child of my own.<br><br>
Having siblings effects me in that if something happened to my mom and my stepdad i'd have have 2 more kids to take care of and be a parent to. My siblings are 5 and almost 4. My kids are almost 4 and almost 7.<br><br></span>
 

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My sister and I are 2.5 yrs. apart and we were at each others' throats as kids. I'd say we didn't even like each other. We get along now fine but still aren't really close.
 

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I am the oldest and my 1 and only sibling (brother) is 2 yrs younger then me. We are nothing a like. I was quiet angel of sorts never in trouble where as he was a wild child and just didn't care. Growing up when we were younger we fought all out fist fights but at the end of the day best of friends. As we got older we became closer and I can't imagine my life without my brother. We are brutally honest with each other and well yes he got babied in my eyes from my mom as he got older as far as expectations ect I also got babied by my dad. But we both are equally loved by our parents where when it comes down to it there was no real favoritism.<br><br>
When the time comes to take care of our parents well that will fall on me, because of how I am.
 

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I have three siblings, and having them has been a great thing for me. I love having people who are a permanent part of my life, no matter where I move or what happens with my other relationships, and I love having other people who are like me in a way that no one outside our family could ever be. My siblings are more fun to hang out with and talk to than almost anyone else I've known. Of course we all fought with each other at times when we were kids, but we had a lot of fun playing together, too.<br><br>
I can see now how having 4 kids in the family must have meant less individual time for each of us, and I can imagine how things might have been different if I had been an only child or just had one sibling, but at the time things seemed fine. The 4th child, especially (unplanned, and with special needs), must have put quite a bit of strain on my parents, but even before he was born my mother must have had some tough times. I don't know how she handled having a 3 year old, a 1.5 year old, and a newborn all at once! But as a kid, I never had the feeling she was stretched thin. I do remember sometimes wishing I could have more one on one time with her, but I didn't feel a serious lack of attention.<br><br>
My parents are already in their 70's, and my mom has some very serious health problems. Three of us siblings have all been equally involved in helping them out so far, and I imagine that will continue. (The fourth lives farther away, and has problems of his own.)
 

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I have one brother, who is 8 years younger than me and autistic. I have good memories of being an only child for 8 years, but after that it was pretty lonely to grow up in my family. My brother needed a lot of attention and special care, and I was older and learned to be quite self-sufficient at a young age, and I had a lot of responsibilities. My brother still lives with my parents and will probably never hold a job or live independently. Eventually I guess I'll be responsible for taking care of all of them, though we don't talk about it much.
 

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I have three siblings.<br><br>
I think it was good for me. Early socialization. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> We loved each other and also began the lifelong process of knocking each other's sharp edges off. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
We are now close and friendly now. There is one particular sibling who still drives me nuts sometimes, but that is due to genuine OCD so it's a little easier to tolerate knowing that. Our parents want to take care of themselves but I know that if there's ever any need, all four of us will pitch in. We have a very good example in my dad's family, watching him and his siblings relate so well, and taking care of their parents. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I have two older half siblings (9 and 7 years older) who I idolized growing up, but we are not close today. They didn't live with us, just came for visits, so that's part of it.<br><br>
I also have a younger sister, five years younger, and we've never really gotten along. I was resentful when she was born because I'd had my parents to myself for so long, but I was always "good" and never caused problems over it. Instead I just treated her like crap. We had some good times, and we're on good terms nowadays, but we're not close. She's the "irresponsible" one and I'm the "bossy" older one. I don't see that changing anytime soon.
 
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