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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
But I'm bored to tears and I think my baby is too!


Baby is with me all day long. It's too cold and windy/rainy/snowy to go outside, and no spending money to go shopping (which would get boring anyways...I'm not a shopper type person).

She hates to be left alone for more than 5-10 minutes. And she is over her last growth spurt so she barely naps at all. I basically hold her all day and use one hand to surf the net when she is finally dozing. My back is killing me!

I can't get away to clean the house, do bills, or just something! Anything! I can't talk on the phone b/c if she's dozing, she'll get fussy.

Lately, she has become very intense in her interactions. She will only be held by me or DH. Anyone else and she screams. She wants to spend hours staring into your eyes and talking. If you look away or shift your body, she gets angry.

She's not interested in toys, back/white cards, the window, the TV (I tried I admit) for more than a few minutes. Just people. I get the distinct feeling that we can't keep up with her...that she needs more stimulation. She's actually weirding me out a little. She communicates really clearly. Other non-family people have heard her talking and mentioned it, so I'm not going crazy (she has different "sound-names" for me and for DH, she does elimination communication on her own, she nods her head, if you mention people's names in my family, she'll turn her head and look at each specific person...is this an alien??!!!)

I feel so bad b/c it is so sweet that she will do googly eyes as if she is in absolute love. But I'm not that kind of person! I can't take it anymore! I have to wait until DH gets home from work just to go to the bathroom. Although I have caved and held her while on the toilet.
.

This baby is too touchy feely for me.


Oh dear, I sound grumpy.

/vent.
 

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So I clicked on your siggie and this is a baby who is about a month old? Yes, babies that young need to be held almost constantly, and I was shocked and stunned when #1 was born for the same reason. I was so not ready for it. #2 is due very soon and I think I'm mentally prepared this time. LOL. I hope!

Do you have a sling? It will help you remain sane until the baby wants to get down and crawl around all the time. Which will happen eventually, and will give you a whole new set of challenges!
 

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Oh, DS was super-alert at that age. Still is, but now that he's almost two his physical abilities have caught up so he doesn't get so bored. Fortunately we are in a mild climate so it was just walk-walk-walk all the time, but otherwise you could do errands. Whatever non-shopping errands you need, I guess. Also he liked to look at art. I think their vision comes in clearer at about a month.

Getting outdoors, even in bad weather, helps with the napping thing too.

Ditto on the sling, it's a life-saver.
 

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It all sounds pretty normal. I second (third?) the sling.

Are there other, less boring, quiet one-handed things you can think of besides the internet? Read a book, draw a picture, write, something?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Oh it feels good to know this is norma! It seems like the newborn stage was such a schedule...feed, burp, poop, sleep, lol. This "free play" stage has me doubting everything. She doesn't really indicate what she "wants" KWIM?

We did finally try a couple slings and she hates them. It makes sense though b/c she really hates swaddling, socks and hats. She doesn't like to be restrained at all.

I just feel like this is a bigger challenge then I knew I was putting myself up to. I wanted to AP and not do CIO, but I've found myself doing a "5 minute test" to see if she is really crying. She hasn't passed it so far.
It makes me
 

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If she hates the sling, maybe try a more upright carrier, like a baby bjorn, or Ergo (with infant insert). My DD was so not a fan of the sling, but was very happy in the bjorn until she was big enough for the Ergo. In fact, she's having a snooze on my back in the Ergo at the moment...

At that age, she also liked to go outside even just for brief periods. Watching the clothes go around in the washer was also a hit. We have a front loader, but you could do this with a top loader if you press down on the safety latch. Could you rest her facing you on your knees (with your knees up) and read a book out loud? That way she might feel like she's getting the interaction she wants, and you get to read a book!
 

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This sounds a lot like my DD! Always wanted to be held (still does!), but hated swaddling and slings - hates being restricted! And also so aware, no interest in objects, but loving to watch people, especially her parents! All your LO needs is you, really! People's faces are much more fascinating to babies than anything else. DD started sucking on rattles and soft toys around 3 months, but she didn't actually start playing until around 3 months.

Yep, it does seem like they EC themselves, doesn't it? This is why EC works, because they are born with the awareness and ability. DD stopped signing around 3 months, but we still catch most wees, and all poos.

Days are hard, but it was great to take her out to coffee mornings, play groups, music etc, as she would sit in my lap, happily watching people, and charming them!

Keep trying slings - DD couldn't stand the wrap sling, in any tie, and she hated the cradle hold (except when feeding). She was almost 8 months old when a friend lent me an Ergo, and just suggested I try it. And wouldn't you know it, DD loves it! I think she can move a lot easier in the Ergo than the wrap. It has made my life so much easier!

Try to get out - play dates, mum's groups etc. They were vital for me in the first 6 months - I still need them.

Some days are really hard. And I feel I can't always cope. But then I have this amazing, wonderful little girl, who loves me most in the world


Ask for help, if there is anyone who can help, partner, mum, friends? Cooked meals, a load of washing, it does help a lot!

!
 

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Oh, mama, you are not alone! My month-old boy is SO alert and he barely naps at all during the day. In fact he's basically sleeping through the night and has been since he was just a few days old. I learned how to side nurse in bed so we sleep for hours and hours at night and then he's just awake and so active all day...

He doesn't mind being in slings but only if I'm walking or otherwise moving. Once I stop to do something or sit down, he wants out. I spend most of my day holding him, nursing him, amusing him...we have all these thank you notes to write and birth announcements to send and I have no idea when I'll get them done! And even after DH comes home it's not much better, because all the babe seems to want is me.

I love my son and I don't mind being his one and only for now, but my back is killing me too and I know exactly what you mean about being touched out and feeling overwhelmed. My friend's baby sleeps all day and she gets so much done; meanwhile I have to stick mine in the bouncer chair and hope I can make it through a five-minute shower before he starts wailing...

It's supposed to get easier soon, I think, but for now it's so exhausting!
 

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It does get easier. Soon you can take your LO in the shower with you, you'll become a pro at going to the toilet with her (even sleeping, in a back carry!), have lazy mornings playing on the bed together, she'll be crawling around next to you on the sofa or the floor...

Or maybe, like a lot of babies, she'll just change at some point!
 

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Have you tried a Moby wrap? My son hated slings to no end (still does) but he would sleep all day in the Moby.

Honestly, I've started just walking around the mall with DS this winter just to get out of the house. I'll buy a cup of tea and just people watch (really good people watching right now since it's the holidays). At 14 weeks I felt the same way - then we turned a corner shortly thereafter and it seemed a lot easier. You'll get there!
 

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Oh, yes, we had two of those alert newborn type babies in our house!!! Seriously, it was a rough first 3 months of never putting a baby down but 'no, don't you dare sling me'!!! I get it, believe me, I do. So I guess what I'm saying is, be glad you only have one of them.


Your baby will gradually become more comfortable being out of arms. Do you have a good swing? The Nature's Touch papasan swing was one of the only places we could occasionally place our babes (sometimes even good for lulling to sleep). Also, keep trying the wraps and slings. Our babies liked the Becos once they were big enough, b/c it allowed them to be upright and looking around.

I'm not a baby person, either, but at the same time, it does go by so quickly, so try to soak it up and enjoy doing nothing with your little one if you can.

Your little one is so cute! Congratulations!
 

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You're getting lots of good advice here. Just keep trying stuff. Definitely get out of the house! I went religiously to a bf'ing support group and an organized play group that I didn't really like just because I had to have somewhere to go. Then I invited some folks that I did like to form our own group - these are still my best friends and our "babies" are turning five.

I wish I had gone to the mall more when DS and DD were this age because there is so much to see there even if you aren't buying. We're in CT so sometimes you can't go out much in the winter. We did try to do one long walk every day. DS liked the Baby Bjorn more than anything else. He hated the swing, but loved the bouncy seat. And, it absolutely does get easier!
 

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DD isn't nearly as attached as yours, but I had some of the same feelings. I was getting bored and worried that she was, too. I don't think she is, she's just a baby. She goes to daycare for about 3-4 partial days a month and she loves all of the activity. She gets to watch the babies and sit in a cool little chair, etc.

What I do is spend a short amount of time on various activities. I'll read a couple books to her, walk her around the house and point to things, call one of the dogs so she can get a close up. DD loves the TV, so I never watch it during the day anymore but yesterday I had the news on, so I decided to pop in Fantasia. She loved it and sat so still forever. I don't think she gets bored...I mean, when a foot is something new and amazing it would be pretty easy to be satisfied all day.

Sometimes if I just want to veg, I'll hold her while I'm reading a book.
 

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Just wanted to add another voice to the get out of the house crew. It was essential for me to have something scheduled to go to. There are some free options in lots of places like LLL meetings, and song and story time at the library. Maybe there's something like that where you are.
 

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She sounds just like my DD at that age! Needed to be held all. the. time. but wouldn't have anything to do with slings or wraps. I didn't have an Ergo at the time so never tried it, but maybe worth a shot? It's certainly less constrictive than wraps or slings. It's tough when they're so aware but can actually 'do' very little. My DD has been high-needs all the time, but it gets a bit better every time she masters a new skill that allows her to do more.

Hang in there - you're doing a great job, but being a new mom is incredibly hard. You need to cut yourself some slack too. Don't worry about the housework for the moment, or enlist someone to come and help you out a bit. It's still very early days; things do get better!

And yes, if at all possible, get out of the house every day, even just for a few minutes. I notice a dramatic change in both my DD and I in terms of grumpiness if we don't get out for whatever reason. Bundle up well and take a walk to a local cafe, sit and have a cup of tea and walk back. Babies love people watching!

 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
So, maybe my baby wasn't changing afterall. Today we woke up to gunky eyes and a stuffy little nose. My poor baby was coming down with something! (any tips on that BTW?)
 

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Saline drops in nose, but only if it's really stuffy (i.e. interfering with nursing) -my DS *hated* them, but they made him able to eat. Also sleeping on an incline to help drainage. And the humidifier as mentioned in the PP.

I feel your pain...DS got a hideous cold when he was only 8 days old, and it was miserable. I hope your LO gets better soon!
 

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Simply Saline makes a nasal mist spray that is much easier to get up into baby's nose than the drops. Good luck. Poor baby. Poor mama.
 
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