How sad! The only thing I would add is to say, " I really love feeding my baby this way and she loves it too!" Obviously, this little girl has absorbed her mother's negative feelings about breastfeeding and your positive feelings about it might be something she ponders later.
Sad conversation with a little girl
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I went to visit a good friend yesterday. She is much more mainstream than I, but she is fun and kind and easy to be with, kwim?
I brought my 1.5 year old and my nursing 2 month old.
When the baby nursed, her five and three year old were all over me, "What is that? What are you doing?"
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And then from the five year old "EW, GROSS!
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"
Their mother bottle fed both of them, so I couldn't exactly say, 'no, this is MUCH better than formula!", but I was trying to explain nicely. The little girl said, "How does the milk get IN there?"
So I said, "When the babies are born, God puts their milk in their mommies."
I then added, "When you have babies, God will give you milk for them too."
The little girl made a disgusted face and said, "EW! No! I will give my babies bottles...that is what they are for."
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I couldn't really say anything more...I didn't want to hurt my friend's feelings or upset the little girl. What would you have done?
I brought my 1.5 year old and my nursing 2 month old.
When the baby nursed, her five and three year old were all over me, "What is that? What are you doing?"
Their mother bottle fed both of them, so I couldn't exactly say, 'no, this is MUCH better than formula!", but I was trying to explain nicely. The little girl said, "How does the milk get IN there?"
So I said, "When the babies are born, God puts their milk in their mommies."
I then added, "When you have babies, God will give you milk for them too."
The little girl made a disgusted face and said, "EW! No! I will give my babies bottles...that is what they are for."
I couldn't really say anything more...I didn't want to hurt my friend's feelings or upset the little girl. What would you have done?
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Well, I'm very careful to not tell kids "when you're older you'll know better", but I might have said something along the lines of "when you're a mommy you'll be able to think very carefully about it and decide what's best for your baby."
Doesn't diss the other mother's choice (she made a choice, even if you don't agree with it) and it reinforces the idea for the little girl that she too will be able to make choices.
It might, just might, make her a little more inclined to do her research when the time comes, instead of just listening to her mother.
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Doesn't diss the other mother's choice (she made a choice, even if you don't agree with it) and it reinforces the idea for the little girl that she too will be able to make choices.
It might, just might, make her a little more inclined to do her research when the time comes, instead of just listening to her mother.
Ow how horrible
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I had to "deprogram" dd, she was bottlefed by dh.
It took a long time and she finally got it after 6 months of me bfeeding ds1
I had to "deprogram" dd, she was bottlefed by dh.
It took a long time and she finally got it after 6 months of me bfeeding ds1
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That is sad.
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I just love how my 4 YO DD "nurses" her stuffed animals & babies. I am so glad that she is able to have a younger sibling so that these things can be modled for her!!
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That's so funny! I have a very vivid memory of my grandmother getting very upset about me nursing a baby doll at the same age. My brother was a baby and I'd never seen bottles in my house. This was how to do it, in my experience. I think the whole problem in our society is little girls growing up to think feeding a bottle is the natural way. Fortunately I grew up seeing it in just the opposite way. My mom may get on my last nerve, but I owe her for giving me a good model of how to feed an infant.
Originally Posted by rmzbm That is sad.
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When my son was born in 2004, my 90 year old Nana came to visit me.
Because she was so old, I thought she would be uncomfortable with me nursing, so I tried to nurse under a blanket. Matthew was having all kinds of latch issues and it wasn't working, he was crying and I was biting my lip in frustration when Nana said, "What are you doing with that baby under the blanket? Do you eat under a blanket? Take the darned blanket off his head!"
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Nana. Not bad for a 90 year old woman who bottlefed both her adopted children.
Because she was so old, I thought she would be uncomfortable with me nursing, so I tried to nurse under a blanket. Matthew was having all kinds of latch issues and it wasn't working, he was crying and I was biting my lip in frustration when Nana said, "What are you doing with that baby under the blanket? Do you eat under a blanket? Take the darned blanket off his head!"
My only advice would be to continue saying positive things about breastfeeding, and not saying anything at all about bottlefeeding. My mother formula fed me, and all of my aunts formula fed their babies. So it was outside sources (family friends, people from church, teachers, etc) that led me to my decision to breastfeed. Good for you, for exposing these sheltered kiddos to a feeding method they may never have otherwise learned about as a future possibility.
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kcinks,
2nd that for sure.
Thank you.
Originally Posted by KC in KS Well, I'm very careful to not tell kids "when you're older you'll know better", but I might have said something along the lines of "when you're a mommy you'll be able to think very carefully about it and decide what's best for your baby." Doesn't diss the other mother's choice (she made a choice, even if you don't agree with it) and it reinforces the idea for the little girl that she too will be able to make choices. It might, just might, make her a little more inclined to do her research when the time comes, instead of just listening to her mother.
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2nd that for sure.
Thank you.
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I decided to be the bigger person and not go there
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I love her dearly, and her kids are cute and very gentle and sweet with my son, but by gosh...they are illbehaved
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Originally Posted by flyingspaghettimama Well, and that mom should really talk to her children about expressing themselves in a less rude way, even if it is how they feel. It was nice of you to worry about hurting your friend's feelings - but what about your feelings? She should be concerned about yours as well. It's unpleasant to have five year olds making disgusted noises just because they're seeing something different. Not kids I'd want to have over for dinner or sheesh, take to the mall. |
I love her dearly, and her kids are cute and very gentle and sweet with my son, but by gosh...they are illbehaved
When my first son was born, my little brother was confused and uncomfortable about it. Now with my third, he doesn't bat an eye, and believes that's how all babies are fed (he was bottle fed but doesn't remember that, so I really think he believes he was also breastfed). In fact, that's what he was telling a friend of his, a little girl with a doll
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Originally Posted by sapphire_chan "You just said that out loud." |
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Joanna, your Nana is awesome!! Love that, LOL!!
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Originally Posted by Joannarachel "What are you doing with that baby under the blanket? Do you eat under a blanket? Take the darned blanket off his head!" |
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