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The state of Massachusetts just sent me $50 to buy my daughter a birthday present : ( I want to send it back...

And her birthday was a month ago.

I know I should just deposit it in her bank account and not let it bother me. After all, it was just something that shot of of a computer. I think I am pretty optimistic, but the state is telling at every turn I am not really my little girl's mother *yet*.
 

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Those little things can seem like weighty messages, can't they?

Now that ds' adoption is finalized, I'm actually having to work to get to the point where I don't live constantly thinking ds is leaving, or that he isn't really "mine." For so long it was a part of my emotional survival.

This first year or two will probably be a mixed one for you, as I know you've experienced to date. I am thinking of you.
 
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