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i've been reading "the vital touch," which i saw recommended somewhere on MDC. great book. very enlightening. also a bit depressing.
depressing b/c it recounts how *most of the world* has societies where mothers raise their children together with other mothers. babies are held nearly constantly (there's always someone there to hold your baby when you need a break), and the women not only work at child rearing, but also work at other jobs, such as harvesting the fields, etc. in other words, there is variety and companionship in their lives.
i have two kids, a daughter who is almost 4 years old and a son who is almost 6 months old. i also have a husband who is more "traditional" minded than most young men are today (my husband is older than me by 18 years).
i am not a "housekeeper" type. i struggle to get the motivation to do household chores. i *am* a natural mom. i put 85-90 percent of my daily efforts into being there for my kids in every way. out of necessity, i probably give 10 percent effort or so into household tasks that really need done: laundry, cooking, dishwasher, sometimes vacuuming, etc. a lot of more time consuming tasks (i.e., going through clothes to give away, organizing, etc.) have fallen by the wayside since the new baby arrived. i get my maybe 5 percent of "me time" when everyone else goes to sleep for the night... but by then i am too tired to do much more than sit in the recliner with my feet up, have something to eat, watch a little TV and look at the computer.
in reading "the vital touch" i can see how babies come into the world expecting to be held, and also how important it is to physically connect with all of your kids. to this end, i try to minimize the amount of time my son is in his swing or bouncy seat. maybe an hour a day at most. the times when i need two hands and the moby wrap isn't convenient. cooking dinner, unloading the dishwasher... those things go much much faster sans baby.
HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE DO IT? how do attachment parents do it?? i can see how some other what they call "mainstream moms" do it-- they leave their babies in the bucket car seat almost all day. how do AP parents of more than one get anything done while holding a baby all day?
and finally, where do you draw the line between trying to do the very best for your chlidren (often on your own as a SAHM in our U.S. society), and making daily choices to put other things first... crying baby but need to finish making dinner for husband...
depressing b/c it recounts how *most of the world* has societies where mothers raise their children together with other mothers. babies are held nearly constantly (there's always someone there to hold your baby when you need a break), and the women not only work at child rearing, but also work at other jobs, such as harvesting the fields, etc. in other words, there is variety and companionship in their lives.
i have two kids, a daughter who is almost 4 years old and a son who is almost 6 months old. i also have a husband who is more "traditional" minded than most young men are today (my husband is older than me by 18 years).
i am not a "housekeeper" type. i struggle to get the motivation to do household chores. i *am* a natural mom. i put 85-90 percent of my daily efforts into being there for my kids in every way. out of necessity, i probably give 10 percent effort or so into household tasks that really need done: laundry, cooking, dishwasher, sometimes vacuuming, etc. a lot of more time consuming tasks (i.e., going through clothes to give away, organizing, etc.) have fallen by the wayside since the new baby arrived. i get my maybe 5 percent of "me time" when everyone else goes to sleep for the night... but by then i am too tired to do much more than sit in the recliner with my feet up, have something to eat, watch a little TV and look at the computer.
in reading "the vital touch" i can see how babies come into the world expecting to be held, and also how important it is to physically connect with all of your kids. to this end, i try to minimize the amount of time my son is in his swing or bouncy seat. maybe an hour a day at most. the times when i need two hands and the moby wrap isn't convenient. cooking dinner, unloading the dishwasher... those things go much much faster sans baby.
HOW DO OTHER PEOPLE DO IT? how do attachment parents do it?? i can see how some other what they call "mainstream moms" do it-- they leave their babies in the bucket car seat almost all day. how do AP parents of more than one get anything done while holding a baby all day?
and finally, where do you draw the line between trying to do the very best for your chlidren (often on your own as a SAHM in our U.S. society), and making daily choices to put other things first... crying baby but need to finish making dinner for husband...
