SAHM vent and chat thread #2

We've been good. I am feeling so grateful to be at home lately--not sure why, but just feeling so glad to have my son with me.

This is good because financially we are soooo hatin' it right now! We are owed so much money right now and no one will pay up!!! It's the 7th and we still haven't paid the mortgage. : In 10 years I will not remember this, right? I'll remember how my 2.5 year old said "Aw man!" and things like, "We MUST do that again, mommy!" and "I love that SOO much!"

We will not be poor forever. We will not be poor forever. We will not be poor forever.

I'm here! Things are ok, although I think we're really starting to feel the strain financially of me being a SAHM. I had maternity benefits for the first year and we somehow sailed through the past year. Now that I'm starting my third year as a SAHM, we're noticing a pinch financially. We can't afford to fix our car anymore so I dont' know what we're going to do with it (hopefully we can sell it as that's the major contributer to our latest cash crunch : ) so we're technically carless right now. Good thing as insurance is due and we couldn't afford to pay it anyway, not to mention the dollar a liter gas : . We've cut all spending down so far before it's hard to get any more frugal than we are although I'm sure we can find ways. Right now we're just going to save save save.

I could never be anything but a SAHM and we are happily sacrificing for it. It's so worth it and I remind myself of it everyday. Of course with a baby on the way soon, it's not really feasible to work as no one would hire a 7+ month pregnant woman, the job economy here sucks (which is why DH has a low paying job) and child care for two would be more than I make, not to mention I'd need a car to get them there . It's all a catch 22.

Anyway my sweet toddler just climbed on for some nursing, so, I hope this thread gets hopping!!

I LOVE being an at home mom. Of course there are days! I am looking for some place that I can go to talk about the good and bad days! LOL I see you all have the same issues as me! Money! I babysit a child and am interviewing tomorrow for another. My daughter gets playmates and I am here to monitor her peer interactions throughout the day. It gives me a purpose too! There is also a general flow to my day which helps! It also keeps two to three other children out of the hands of overworked childcare providers! (not that all are, there are some great ones!) However me still bringing in money doesn't make my husband any more supportive. You see me staying home happened by accident! In the begining we agreed we could make this work and now he is missing the extras we use to have. He never actually tells me to get a job but, he brings up the GUNS he can't buy all the time! (when hes itching to buy ANOTHER! We have enough to wall paper the house!) Anyone else dealing with a less then supportive husband? I am interested to hear how you deal with it.......

*jumping right in*

I personally am exhausted. DD was up at the butt crack of dawn (430am) to nurse and smilie, then when she finally went back to sleep DS woke up. Oh...and DH is out of town for the week, so I'm doing it all by myself.

I love being a SAHM but the early morning sucks . We moved to our current town so that I could stay home. DH makes enough money (and the cost of living is less) so that we are comfortable. There are alot of choices that have to be made in order to keep things on track tho, but it is worth it. I am lucky DH is very supportive.

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You said it, sista!! I hate getting up early. I am not a morning person, but ds likes to get up at 6!!

I've been a SAHM for just over three years now. I was on Mat. leave for the first year (I'm in Canada) and then worked part-time at my oldest dd's school from May/02 to June/03. I've been an unemployed bum since then, but am going back to work, again part-time, in the fall.

I'm very fortunate in that I keep finding jobs where I can take my children with me. I did before/after school care at dd's school, and so I brought my middle child (then youngest) with me. In the fall I will be assisting with Mommy and Me music classes -- one for babies, one for toddlers. The job sort of fell into my lap -- I was attending the program with my girls as something to do, and I offered to help out, never imagining that it would be a paid position.

My dh has a pretty good job, but he has to work a lot of overtime in order for us to keep our heads above water. We're really feeling the pinch right now -- we're getting ready to sell our house and so have been putting money into fixing things, re-painting and touch-ups, etc. These are all things that we've just never gotten around to before, because the money was always better spent somewhere else, kwim? In the long run it will be worth it, but right now it's a little scary. I'm really looking forward to the fall, when I have an income again -- it won't be much at first, but every little bit helps.

Looking forward to getting to know you all!

Wow, equinox, you took the words right out of my mouth! That's exactly how I feel.

I also just wanted to say to all of those new to Mothering!

Sometimes I feel guilty about all of the play time I have with ds while dh is toiling away at the office, but then I remind myself how I am performing the most important job I have ever had in my career: parenting my son. If I were not home building sand castles with him, who would be doing it? A daycare? A nanny? I'm glad that I am the one who is home feeding, changing, entertaining, teaching, parenting, loving, hugging, kissing boo boos, etc. etc. my darling ds!!!

I think my dh is jealous that I get to do it and not him!!

Hi!
New to the thread, relatively new to the boards.

I take care of my one dd full-time, and am happy for it every day. Today I'm pooped - my 27 mo toddler is a 5 am waker, but today it was 4:30... otherwise feeling a bit like the bionic woman (US pop culture reference, sorry)! We're moving in less than a month into subsidzed housing, and happy to finally be able to live with an affordable rent. But, there's lots of coordinating and phone calls and hoping to do about money still. And the trips to donate stuff to the thrift store... At least we've already had the yard sale.

How many of you other unemployed moms, in your stress about money these days, have heard a stranger or family member question your decision to not work for money? I've been asked directly and indirectly, and tried to made guilty for not working by our social workers here. All I can do is what I say: We decided that I would stay with dd, nurse her until she decides she's done, and help her grow. That's my job. No one's said anything sassy back to me yet!

And my dp only works part-time, so we're together a lot. BROKE but together. And we both write, so we get writing time, too. Yep, I've felt guilty for playing all day, but never for too long -- especially after the 4:00 mornings!

Kim

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I have. It really bothers me, since it's none of their business, and I feel like I am doing the right thing for my family by staying home and raising my child. I'm so sick of being told that I'm wasting my education that I could scream! I use every resource available to me to raise my child, and my education and knowledge come in quite handy. Nobody clued me in that the only purpose of going to college was for career training.

My husband used the wasting my education line on me last night during an argument. Somehow today I don't feel so guilty about him toiling in the rain while I play with DS. :

I had the worst day I've had in a while. DS has been having tantrums like I never knew he could throw and that on top of him tearing our house apart to the extreme, breaking and dumping things out which lead to some scary moments, I was at my wits end today. I was supposed to be putting stuff together for a yard sale tommorow but between fixing what he's been doing, having to lay down from hurting so much and just trying to calm down about everything, I didn't get anything done. DH was pretty upset when he saw the state of our basement today, but there's only so much I can do. Right now I'm really scared I'll be put on bed rest because of the contractions and pains I've been having and I'm sure the stress I've been under isn't helping my blood pressure. I can't even go to the bathroom without coming back to a disaster