SAHMing once children are in school?
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I am most likely going to be one of these moms. I have 2 girls in school full time in the fall and a 15month ds. With 3 kids the biggest obsticles I see having to face are days off school, after school, sick days and so on. With 3 kids these things tripple. My day is full and the kids make it very full, but even when they all go to school I will still have the same chores and responsibilities that I do now. I may have more time in the day for "me" things and I am looking forward to that part of it. I'm also looking forward to actually being able to complete a task all the way through, without it taking the whole day. I also want to be there before and after school for my kids, volunteer at their school and on field trips. I don't think being a full time mom stops once they start school, it's just a whole different set of responsibilities.
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I'm not doing this <i>yet</i> but I will once DS (and any younger DC's) is in school. No particular reason, partly because 'mothers' hours are hard to find and DH and I both want someone to be home when he (they) get home from school, we want someone to take him (them) to school every day (no bus service in town) and not have to worry about work on sick days. Not sure what I'll <i>do</i> while he's (they're) in school but...
I homeschool, but I would want to SAH even if they were in school. My life would become 100x more hectic if my kids were in school. There is plenty of stuff to get done around the house still, with kids in school, and being involved with their education. I just can't imagine working and being able to be able to accomplish so many things-- some women can, but I know I couldn't. Sometimes I feel defective in that way, but who knows? My sister SAH and does not homeschool. She is so much busier than I am-- always having to ferry the kids and run errands associated with school. I can't imagine *not* SAH with kids in school. Again, none of this is mean to be offensive either. I'm totally in awe not only of WMs but moms who put their kids in school-- homeschooling seems like the easy way out for us <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:
I'm going to have to go to work once ds starts school, unfortunately. I wish that was not the case because, honestly, I believe that being at home when they're in school is just as important as being at home while they're small.<br><br>
My mom continued to stay home for the first few years that I was in school (until she and my father separated). She came on field trips, volunteered at the school, was active in all of our programs. It was a huge source of stability. I think I could have really used that in later years when I was getting in trouble. Don't get me wrong - she was still a great mom and still very present in my life. She was always exhausted but made sure that I was able to be involved in extracurricular activities (though she'd fall asleep in the car waiting for me) and came to all of my peformances, but her availability was still severely limited by work.<br><br>
School hours are also different than work hours - at least around here. Unless you have a very flexible job that's right by home, you're going to spend more than the school day away from your child. It's just too much time away, IMO, for children who still very much need their mothers involved in their lives.
My mom continued to stay home for the first few years that I was in school (until she and my father separated). She came on field trips, volunteered at the school, was active in all of our programs. It was a huge source of stability. I think I could have really used that in later years when I was getting in trouble. Don't get me wrong - she was still a great mom and still very present in my life. She was always exhausted but made sure that I was able to be involved in extracurricular activities (though she'd fall asleep in the car waiting for me) and came to all of my peformances, but her availability was still severely limited by work.<br><br>
School hours are also different than work hours - at least around here. Unless you have a very flexible job that's right by home, you're going to spend more than the school day away from your child. It's just too much time away, IMO, for children who still very much need their mothers involved in their lives.
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I stay at home even though my kids are now in school. Here's some reasons why.<br><br><br>
No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles<br><br>
I volunteer at the kids' school.<br>
I volunteer at the local science museum.<br>
I do most of the home care and upkeep.<br>
I have time for pottery or watercolor classes that make me a better and more well-rounded person.<br><br>
It's not a charmed life, but it is a good one.
No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles<br><br>
I volunteer at the kids' school.<br>
I volunteer at the local science museum.<br>
I do most of the home care and upkeep.<br>
I have time for pottery or watercolor classes that make me a better and more well-rounded person.<br><br>
It's not a charmed life, but it is a good one.
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4,825 Posts
I can see why SAH is important while the kids are in school. That said, I plan to substitute teach when my kids start school. The pay is pretty good and it will be flexible enough that I will still be able to volunteer at their school and be with them when they're sick. I'll be with them after school and every holiday and summer. I'll probably just sub in their school so I can just take them with me and I'll be there to take them home.
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1,613 Posts
When dd starts full-day preschool in the fall, I'll probably still be SAHM or maybe just minimal part-time work. For us, it's just too hard to juggle dd's appointments (she has multiple special needs/health issues) with any kind of actual job. Add to that the other kids' activities, sick days, snow days and summer, and I can't imagine how it would work out. We're definately going to need more income soon, though, so I'm not sure what we'll do then. If I can continue to be home, I'll probably find time to do more of the projects around the house (photo albums, closets, etc.) instead of just the daily pick-up routine. Of course, what I'll probably do is spend too much time on MDC! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>philomom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I stay at home even though my kids are now in school. Here's some reasons why.<br><br><br>
No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles<br><br>
I volunteer at the kids' school.<br>
I volunteer at the local science museum.<br>
I do most of the home care and upkeep.<br>
I have time for pottery or watercolor classes that me a better and more well-rounded person.<br><br>
It's not a charmed life, but it is a good one.</div>
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<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: ITA. I do plan once they're high school age to return to work but DH will be home then if so , we've planned for one of us to ALWAYS be home especially when they are in school.......now with one child finishing senior K it is VITAL to be around for them, in my opinion. So much comes up, and this is just primary ages..I can only imagine the older grades.
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>philomom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I stay at home even though my kids are now in school. Here's some reasons why.<br><br><br>
No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles<br><br>
I volunteer at the kids' school.<br>
I volunteer at the local science museum.<br>
I do most of the home care and upkeep.<br>
I have time for pottery or watercolor classes that me a better and more well-rounded person.<br><br>
It's not a charmed life, but it is a good one.</div>
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<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: ITA. I do plan once they're high school age to return to work but DH will be home then if so , we've planned for one of us to ALWAYS be home especially when they are in school.......now with one child finishing senior K it is VITAL to be around for them, in my opinion. So much comes up, and this is just primary ages..I can only imagine the older grades.
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I am doing this.My daughter is 8 and an only child...ok, we've been ttc for over a year now, but that's another story.<br>
I am here on an H4 Visa and I'm neither allowed to work nor to attend university.However, I don't plan on returning to work with future children ( I want 3) once they start school either.<br><br>
I have enough to do, this morning I spent cleaning DD room upside down, then made lunch ( DH works from home) and now I'll lie down till she comes because my back is hurting <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
I am here on an H4 Visa and I'm neither allowed to work nor to attend university.However, I don't plan on returning to work with future children ( I want 3) once they start school either.<br><br>
I have enough to do, this morning I spent cleaning DD room upside down, then made lunch ( DH works from home) and now I'll lie down till she comes because my back is hurting <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>philomom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I stay at home even though my kids are now in school. Here's some reasons why.<br><br><br>
No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles</div>
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what a great list! My best friend who is a WM is always faced with the incredibly difficult "before and after" times-- getting her DC to school soon enough so that she can get to work, and then getting to school before after care closes. It is so stressful for her-- just those few hours each day cause 80% of her stress. The same when her DC is sick. She was not given a raise because she missed too many days last year due to DS being sick. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>philomom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I stay at home even though my kids are now in school. Here's some reasons why.<br><br><br>
No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles</div>
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what a great list! My best friend who is a WM is always faced with the incredibly difficult "before and after" times-- getting her DC to school soon enough so that she can get to work, and then getting to school before after care closes. It is so stressful for her-- just those few hours each day cause 80% of her stress. The same when her DC is sick. She was not given a raise because she missed too many days last year due to DS being sick. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
Once my kids start jr high school for sure (maybe sooner, I am not sure, we'll see), I will most likely be going back to get my master's to become a nurser practioner and/or working part time as an RN. For now, I like being a SAHM, b/c my kids are still babies and they need a lot of care. Not that they won't need care when they are older, but the will be a little more self sufficient. Basically, I will be going back to work/school in order for my earnings to go towards our kid's college costs (we will not qualify for financial aid on DH's salary, but I'm not too crazy about my kids taking out college loans either), and also to squirrel away $ for DH's and my retirement/savings. How do I feel about going back to work? Mixed feelings, I think it will be nice to having my own career again, I am hoping that I will be able to have a good balance of family and work. Luckily, I am pretty sure I'll only have to work part time or per diem, so hopefully that will give me a good bit of flexibility.
i plan on going to nursing school once all 3 of mine are in school full time. then i only want to work part time which from what i hear is doable in the nursing field. i for sure want to be home when they get home from school so i figure midnights would be best for that
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>the_lissa</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've read of a few women who sahm once their children are in school (not hs'ing.) What are the reasons for this? Are there advantages? What is there to do?<br><br>
(This is not meant to be offensive. I am honestly curious.)</div>
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The reasons others have said. School vacation days, summer vacation, sickness, scheduling, etc.<br><br>
My dd is almost 3 and this JUST occurred to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"> Here I was thinking I was going to go back to work when she started kindergarten with no problems. I really can't believe I didn't dawn on me that she would be home during the day a good chunk of the year.
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>the_lissa</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've read of a few women who sahm once their children are in school (not hs'ing.) What are the reasons for this? Are there advantages? What is there to do?<br><br>
(This is not meant to be offensive. I am honestly curious.)</div>
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The reasons others have said. School vacation days, summer vacation, sickness, scheduling, etc.<br><br>
My dd is almost 3 and this JUST occurred to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"> Here I was thinking I was going to go back to work when she started kindergarten with no problems. I really can't believe I didn't dawn on me that she would be home during the day a good chunk of the year.
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1,628 Posts
Lately I have been thinking about how hard it will be to work when the kids are in school....maybe even harder than when they are not?? Because infants/toddlers/preschool age kids can stay with one caregiver all day on the days you work. If you find a great one - it can be a fabulous situation to have another loving adult and consistent social circle for your child. Once your child is in school - you have to deal with aftercare that is different than care during the day - random days that school is closed - summer vacation - spring break - when they are sick - etc.... Plus, how to work in transportation and parental participation in afterschool activities???<br><br>
That being said - once all my kids are in school - I think I will really WANT to work. I loved my job as a social worker (I love being home more but if the kids were not here for 6-7 hours a day, I think that I would really miss social work, ykwim?) Anyway, dh and I have talked about it and he is really busting his butt at work now in the homes that he will store up some goodwill and be able to work 7-3ish and work from home as needed so as to cover the weird afterschool times and sick days....we will have to see how that works out, but I really hope it does since I think I would be a better social worker now that I have put in some many years as a mom, ykwim?<br><br>
BJ<br>
Barney & Ben
That being said - once all my kids are in school - I think I will really WANT to work. I loved my job as a social worker (I love being home more but if the kids were not here for 6-7 hours a day, I think that I would really miss social work, ykwim?) Anyway, dh and I have talked about it and he is really busting his butt at work now in the homes that he will store up some goodwill and be able to work 7-3ish and work from home as needed so as to cover the weird afterschool times and sick days....we will have to see how that works out, but I really hope it does since I think I would be a better social worker now that I have put in some many years as a mom, ykwim?<br><br>
BJ<br>
Barney & Ben
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>meowee</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The same when her DC is sick. She was not given a raise because she missed too many days last year due to DS being sick. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> That is TOTALLY unfair. It is pathetic that WMs face that sort of crap...it's like mamas can't win regardless..........you work, you get that sort of issue, you stay home, the other issues...........ARGH! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
Mamas <i>everywhere</i> should be treated with the utmost respect for goodness sakes.
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>meowee</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The same when her DC is sick. She was not given a raise because she missed too many days last year due to DS being sick. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> That is TOTALLY unfair. It is pathetic that WMs face that sort of crap...it's like mamas can't win regardless..........you work, you get that sort of issue, you stay home, the other issues...........ARGH! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
Mamas <i>everywhere</i> should be treated with the utmost respect for goodness sakes.
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I've read of a few women who sahm once their children are in school (not hs'ing.) What are the reasons for this? Are there advantages? What is there to do?</td>
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I have a baby now (so I have an excuse to SAHM <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> , but before she was born all three of my kids were in school. I had plenty to do. Even with kids in school SAHMing isn't easy, although it was easier than it is now. My house was clean. I had a little bit of Me time- that was nice.<br>
During the school year my kids are home at 2:00. They like to come home after school, I like being home when they do. I can help them with school projects and homework. They can have friends over, take a class, or play a sport.
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I've read of a few women who sahm once their children are in school (not hs'ing.) What are the reasons for this? Are there advantages? What is there to do?</td>
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I have a baby now (so I have an excuse to SAHM <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> , but before she was born all three of my kids were in school. I had plenty to do. Even with kids in school SAHMing isn't easy, although it was easier than it is now. My house was clean. I had a little bit of Me time- that was nice.<br>
During the school year my kids are home at 2:00. They like to come home after school, I like being home when they do. I can help them with school projects and homework. They can have friends over, take a class, or play a sport.
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles</td>
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ITA...School is only so many hours a day....that's when I'll clean, do laundry, grocery shop, do dinner prep, etc. I'd also like to be active at my child's school (volunteering, class mom, etc) and also they'll need transportation to activities in the afternoon (sports, music or art classes, boy/girl scouts, etc.) Finally, I am looking forward to a small chunk of "me" time during the days...I'd be thrilled to have just an hour to work out and then shower...ahhhhh, that'll be heaven!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Can you imagine???? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> That's the toughest thing about SAHM sometimes (with little ones) is no downtime.
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">No after care worries<br>
No summer day camp worries<br>
No homework worries<br>
No when's dinner worries<br>
No "when do we shop?" worries<br>
No frenzied weekends trying to "catch up"<br>
No "who watches the sick child" battles</td>
</tr></table></div>
ITA...School is only so many hours a day....that's when I'll clean, do laundry, grocery shop, do dinner prep, etc. I'd also like to be active at my child's school (volunteering, class mom, etc) and also they'll need transportation to activities in the afternoon (sports, music or art classes, boy/girl scouts, etc.) Finally, I am looking forward to a small chunk of "me" time during the days...I'd be thrilled to have just an hour to work out and then shower...ahhhhh, that'll be heaven!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Can you imagine???? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> That's the toughest thing about SAHM sometimes (with little ones) is no downtime.
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