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SAHMs with unemployed DHs

549 Views 3 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  lilirose
Am I the only one? I would love to talk about coping with dh being around ALL the time and how your dh is dealing with the stress. And how you are dealing with the stress.

I am Lara. I have 3 kids, a 9yo ds and twin 10mo dds. Dh has been unemployed for 3 months and it feels like much longer. He is very stressed and has taken to micromanaging the household. Things have gotten better since I made up a chart for house and baby duties. Money is ok for now. We are living off our savings (his job was unpredictable so we tried to save up in case this happened). We are on WIC and medicaid. He has gotten his hopes up twice on jobs where they said they really wanted him, but so far nothing has materialized.

Anyone else?
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Hi Lara,

My situation is a little different but I wanted to send my support & hugs to you, and say I can relate to a part of your situation anyway. That is, I'm mostly home & dh doesn't technically have a job.

Living of our savings started to run out so I do work part time now - just several weekday afternoons during dd's naps, meaning that I'm mostly with her whenever she's awake. And for some reason I do most of the housework and baby-related chores & things. In our case, dh's health isn't good & he struggles with depression. He's working on some projects now which are very interesting (to him & to me) but they don't pull in much money. But I try to give him lots of time to do this creative work in the hopes it will help stave off the depression.
Without employment, we don't have health insurance (except fro dd), which makes him seeking treatment hard.

I noticed lately I'm trying to shield him from the stress of the situation by taking care of everything myself (baby, money, house, my own anxiety). And one of the many problems with this, lol, is that it distances me from him. We're less of a team than I'd like to be, and it's hard not to resent him.

So I know it's not all that similar to your situation, but I know the feeling of both being home under each other's feet a lot, tryingto balance household work, worrying about money, wondering about what the future will bring.

I'm at my job now, so I should get back to it, sigh.

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Dh just retired from a 20 career, so we have a small pension. But while moving, we had a major car accident, totalled our vehicle, and nearly totalled dh.

He is now disabled- just one arm, but it's not what he's used to. He may have a job next week, but it's not a very good one.

It's been two months, and yes, he's been at loose ends and it's been tense and frustrating at times.

He had a job offer in writing, but they withdrew it, and that was a real let-down.

The micro-managing is something I can *really* relate to.

Because of his accident, we had to move into a *much* smaller house, and he's been trying to help, but his ideas about what is most important to get done and my own just do NOT co-incide.

So I can relate. In our case, I don't think we could be handling the changes as well as we are if it weren't for our faith. WE have no human support system, because we were moving to another state, and we've not had any time to meet people or make any friends here.

Take care,

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sorry, having to remove all posts with personal info due to an online stalker.
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