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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok. DH and I are trying to build up our savings, a fund for DS--for whatever he needs it for, and to save for my MT training. I have every last penny of our income allotted for something--either these things or complete necessities. We have no "fun" money (or rather, I don't, as DH convinced me to let him have $80/month by making me feel guilty!) In a way I feel bad for "taking" the rest of DH's money. But isn't he benefiting from the savings? Or will be, YK? And I know he wants to have money for anything DS needs. As for the MT training, when I finish, he'll benefit from that too, b/c I'll have a job, money won't be so tight, we'll be off assistance, etc. But this whole thing is driving me crazy! Not only will it take me 21 months to save for the training--which isn't that expensive, it's just how little goes toward it--but it will take a few months to a year to finish when I start. Plus, no visiting the ND unless we're sick, b/c it just can't be done now. And then there's DH, who's trying to save for his own thing--whatever the heck that is. Should I give him more than $80? Less? What? I'm tired of figuring out what I *should* do, although I think I'm actually doing pretty darn well. I guess I'm just venting here. Sorry for wasting your time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
 

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I would say if you have $80 to spare every month, you keep $40 and he gets $40. That way you can both have a little fun money.<br><br>
As far as MT training, can you borrow the money from a family member so you can start school now? Then while you are in school, you could pay the person back whatever you can each month until they are paid. That way you wouldn't have to wait 21 months to start school. Just a thought.<br><br>
Maybe you could wait on having a savings for your child right now. When you are finished with school, you could save more money for him. Put the savings you are using for him into your schooling. You have lots of time to save money for him. It would make more sense to me to get your MT training done so you would be making more money sooner.<br><br>
Just some thoughts. I am sure you have probably thought of all these things before, but just thought I would throw them out to see if it was anything you hadn't thought of.
 

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I can totally relate with how frustrating it can be. A few years back I wanted to go to law school and saved like crazy for 1 yr. In my heart I knew it was not right for me but I kept saving anyway, even though I would have to take out huge college loans on top of that. During that year of savings I kept seeing my friends and other people my age getting great paying jobs and it seemed like everyone else could afford whatever they wanted. I tried to keep my eye on my goal. AT the end of the year we used that money instead for a down payment on our home. It's been our best investment. I still remeber how frustrating it was at the time to be so frugal but it has totally paid off. Just try to keep positive and find ways to not feel so miserable about it.
 

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I try to look at whatever financial goal that DF and I have, it is to benefit the family. Right now it is to be able to afford to not put DS in daycare and pay off debts before the wedding (which we also have to pay for). Wow, when I type this out it now makes sense that someone in our family is almost always at work!<br><br>
So right now, DF is working a lot more than I am, so I can be with DS most of the time. But I know that later on when the kids are older, I'll be working more so DF can go back to school. I figure if you set goals as a couple, then the money you have as a family is both of yours and you shouldn't have to feel guilty. Your education will benefit your family in the long run. Keep that in mind.<br><br>
That being said, it would probably do good for both you and your dh's sanity to each have a little bit of "fun" money for the month. We make sure to work that into our monthly budgets.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>thriftyqueen</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9073272"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would say if you have $80 to spare every month, you keep $40 and he gets $40. That way you can both have a little fun money.<br><br>
As far as MT training, can you borrow the money from a family member so you can start school now? Then while you are in school, you could pay the person back whatever you can each month until they are paid. That way you wouldn't have to wait 21 months to start school. Just a thought.<br><br>
Maybe you could wait on having a savings for your child right now. When you are finished with school, you could save more money for him. Put the savings you are using for him into your schooling. You have lots of time to save money for him. It would make more sense to me to get your MT training done so you would be making more money sooner.<br><br>
Just some thoughts. I am sure you have probably thought of all these things before, but just thought I would throw them out to see if it was anything you hadn't thought of.</div>
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Thanks, I've actually been considering these things. I don't have family members to borrow from--the ones who have the money won't help, and the ones who would do anything in the world for me don't have it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Isn't that the way it usually goes?! But I have thought about using what we put toward DS for the training. He's only 6MO and he won't know. I feel like doing that would be taking something from him, but I realize it isn't. He has everything he needs, and when I'm working, we'll be able to save more for him. So I think I'll talk about this with DS, and probably end up taking this suggestion. Thanks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mrskennedy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9076019"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks, I've actually been considering these things. I don't have family members to borrow from--the ones who have the money won't help, and the ones who would do anything in the world for me don't have it! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Isn't that the way it usually goes?! But I have thought about using what we put toward DS for the training. He's only 6MO and he won't know. I feel like doing that would be taking something from him, but I realize it isn't. He has everything he needs, and when I'm working, we'll be able to save more for him. So I think I'll talk about this with DS, and probably end up taking this suggestion. Thanks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
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I suggest talking about it with DH, in addition to talking about it with DS. DS will probably enjoy looking at you and listening to the sound of your voice while you're talking, but I doubt he'll comprehend much of the conversation. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Why exactly is your DH getting $80 of "fun money" while you get $0? If the money is going towards a legitmate bill, it should be budgeted as such. Is there an expensive skelaton in his closet (drug problem? child support to a baby conceived while he was with you?) he's not telling you about? And if he's truly "playing" with that money while you're being frugal at home, it's incredibly unfair to you and WILL lead to resentment.
 

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If your on assistance now can they pay for the traning? I know that sometimes they will pay for school.<br><br>
Are you able to work at all? Maybe just on a Saturday for a few hours cleaning or something? That could bring in about $50 or so.
 

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We set our finances to help us as a family. DH is a truck driver and when he needed to get his CDLs to be able to make more money he wasn't able to b/c it interfered w/ work. So he quit his job and I worked 2 jobs for a couple of months until he got it. Now he makes twice as much and I only work 2 nights a wk. We do have some issues w/ this though b/c DH will come up with things we "need" when we have something else going on.<br><br>
Right now I'm trying to save money to pay for an atty/surveyor to get our land sold so we can build a new house. But DH keeps coming up w/ stuff... the camper needs this, something for his truck, fix the lawnmower.... I have to keep reminding him if we don't spend money on anything but necessities I'll have the money saved in a few weeks and we can do whatever then but for now it needs to wait. I've been trying to do the "no-spend" thing this month.. 3 days in and I've already have to remind him about 5 times. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>imnotsupernanny</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9076546"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If your on assistance now can they pay for the traning? I know that sometimes they will pay for school.<br><br>
Are you able to work at all? Maybe just on a Saturday for a few hours cleaning or something? That could bring in about $50 or so.</div>
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I do some freelance writing now, but it's not regular by any means and I might make $20-40/month if I'm lucky. Cleaning doesn't work for me for a lot of reasons, and neither does babysitting or a paper route. Not only am I blind, but we live in a crappy neighborhood, etc. Hate to say this, but it's true... Blind people, more than people with other disabilities, have trouble getting entry-level jobs, even part time. But I do what I can. Assistance won't pay for this. It's out of state, online, bla bla bla and doesn't "qualify." Can't get a loan--not that I'd really like to--so I'm on my own. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Bolt.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bolt">
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Ruthla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9076211"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I suggest talking about it with DH, in addition to talking about it with DS. DS will probably enjoy looking at you and listening to the sound of your voice while you're talking, but I doubt he'll comprehend much of the conversation. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Why exactly is your DH getting $80 of "fun money" while you get $0? If the money is going towards a legitmate bill, it should be budgeted as such. Is there an expensive skelaton in his closet (drug problem? child support to a baby conceived while he was with you?) he's not telling you about? And if he's truly "playing" with that money while you're being frugal at home, it's incredibly unfair to you and WILL lead to resentment.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/spitdrink.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="spitdrink"> I meant DH! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> That's what I get for being tired... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> DS loves to watch people talk, anyway!<br><br>
I have to say, this sounds stupid to me, but DH is trying to save money for a GPS system. I can see why, but really, it can wait, not to mention we don't particularly need it. I don't and find them unreliable, etc. In any case, since it will take him as long to save for that as it will for my training, if not longer, maybe he'll come to his senses?!
 

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The AMTA has a scholarship that they award to 5-7 massage therapy students every year. You have to be already enrolled in school to apply, but it would totally be worth looking into. As a blind MT student you would have an interesting story to tell, and the scholarships are awarded based on a combination of need and other factors. <a href="http://www.amtamassage.org" target="_blank">www.amtamassage.org</a> has the details.<br><br>
Have you chosen your school yet? They may offer scholarships or a payment plan or the option to work part-time for the school to cover some expenses. If you have more than one school option, look at all the different tuition levels as part of determining which school is the best for you - there may be a less expensive option whose education is equivalent or even superior (owner-run schools in this profession tend to offer higher-quality education, and lower prices, than corporate-owned or chain schools).<br><br>
PM me if you want. I'm an MT and I love helping people find their way in this profession. You can do it!
 

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Will you be getting a tax return at the first of the year? This could boost your savings.<br><br>
Also wanted to second taking from the infant's saving... as long as you put it back when you are done with school and have an increase in income. Investing in your skills and future income will be way more financial beneficial for your child.
 
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