Mothering Forum banner

1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,211 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My last two births were hospital births. I started out each birth with a mind towards no epidural. The hospital staff were natural birth-minded, although pretty liberal with interventions when they felt I needed them. By natural birth-minded I mean they made every effort to allow me to move freely, in and out of the tub, walk around, etc. I think I felt a false sense of security because for both births I felt blindsided by pain, and in the end, I ended up getting an epidural for both<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">. I wanted to die the pain was so bad! I chose to only listen to positive natural birth stories, and I turned a blind eye to the painful ones<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">. The doctor who delivered my children said that both times the babies heads were turned sideways, and got stuck on my pelvis somewhere? I think? For my first labour, my water broke on it's own, and labour came hard and fast. With my second, the doctor broke my water, and.....same story. ARg. I feel like there is no way I can do natural birth now. I am so scared of the pain. I feel like the the most I can aim for is a vaginal delivery. How do I get my confidence back? What is the best way to overcome traumatic birth experiences?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,257 Posts
First birth = very painful despite epidural (first onee fell out), I have NEVER known such pain.<br><br>
Second birth = home birth but it was still incredibly painful. I say the birth was fantastic etc, which it was, but I had no idea that the amount of pain I had would prove to be so traumatic cos now I am bricking it.<br><br>
I am planning a homebirth again, I am terrified. I am very pro natural birth for those with the confidence to do it (I think that people have worn down a lot of womens confidencee in them selves). I secreetly want to go for an elective section or to just go for an epidural BUT, thankfully, my rational part of my brain says 'hey, look, a section doesn't mean you won't escape pain and look what happened with the epidural in your first labour, it won't necessarily work'...... Due to a medical condition I have, I can be resistant to local anaesthetics, including epidurals, so there is simply no guaruntee unless I do the general anaesthetic thing.<br><br>
So, I guess, I am just hoping that things will be differentt this time around. Both my previous labours have been around 12 hours max so its not like it will be something that lasts forever.<br><br>
I am currently reading Grantly Dick Reads childbirth without fear again and see if it helps this time (I did read it last time but kinda suddenly panicked when none of my MWs were available to begin with last time, so I think key to the experience tthis time is just relaxing........ Crossed fingers............<br><br>
It should be ok!!!!!!! For both of us!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,122 Posts
I think the best you can do is to think positively and visualize a lot. You have to work through the fear on your own in a way that is effective. For me this meant a lot of visualizing, mantras ("My body is made to birth," "I am stretchy and will open easily for this baby"), and talking about it with people. Although neither of my births had outcomes that I liked, I would say that I worked though the fear and was able to deal with the pain in a satisfactory way, without pain medication.<br><br>
Also, have you seen "The Business of Being Born"? I would highly suggest it. You can get it off netflix.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> and you are not alone!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,211 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I think what makes it so complicated for me is that the epidurals worked really well. They eliminated the pain within minutes. Unfortunately, I narrowly missed a c-section both times.<br><br>
Thanks for the commiseration, it helps to not feel so alone<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
189 Posts
While trying not to sound like a walking commercial for the book, I think <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Birthing from Within</span> by Pam England is a good read, both in general and for dealing with past birth trauma/issues.<br><br>
I have some strong fears about birthing and I feel like this is the only book that's addressed them. There are some exercises that I find pretty helpful (I haven't tried them all). There are also Birthing from Within classes, I'm going to try to get into them, too.<br><br>
I really wish I had read it earlier, it really seems to prepare you as a person, not a consumer or a patient like the rest I've read.<br><br>
Also, I don't think there's any shame in winding up with an epidural. It is better than having a cesarian, in my opinion.<br><br>
A great thing you can do is get an experienced doula who "feels right" to you. Try to find someone who communicates well with you, someone who "gets" you. Also, come with an arsenal of alternative ways of handling pain. Try it all, a TENS unit, water, heat/cold, aromatherapy, massage, acupressure... There are a lot of things mentioned in this forum and many others. If you try a new thing as soon as the last stops working, you might get through a lot more than you though you could, by then you might not have much left before you're holding your baby.<br><br>
I think the best way to get past your previous births is a combination of examining your feelings and fears and getting it all out there and then letting it drift where it belongs, into the past, and move on to a new, fresh birth with all your new lessons and wisdom.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,211 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>redorchid</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10751831"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think the best way to get past your previous births is a combination of examining your feelings and fears and getting it all out there and then letting it drift where it belongs, into the past, and move on to a new, fresh birth with all your new lessons and wisdom.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I felt more relaxed just reading that<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
172 Posts
Now this might not be a fit for you, but I respond well to being proactive. I helped my fear by "preparing" for my births. For ex. you mentioned positioning as possibly a culprit with your previous two births. Perhaps addressing that in whatever capacity you can (yoga, birth ball, etc.), you can then tell yourself you have no reason to expect a repeat situation and that this is an entirely new experience with a new baby. Now that probably wouldn't work for everyone though. I also second (or third?) a doula.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,409 Posts
My first baby is due in may, so feel free to ignore me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> i was quite a bit nervous about the pain and interventions etc i found what has helped me is too be really proactive about it in my preparation, almost to the point of insanity. I have made up heat packs, printed out direction for DH on acupressure points, i have researched and bought calming aromatherapy oils etc. I know that we are in quite different situations in that for me it is about the unknown, whereas for you there is an actual history. Have you looked into Hypnobabies? I am finding it helpful even for relieving my hip pain and itches, and it really makes me feel that i have other tools available to me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,211 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Hmmmmmmm......hypnobabies...will have to look into that! I've also heard that if your water doesn't break early, the baby has a chance to rotate into position. I got that from spinning babies.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
Top