Scared of hospitalization

Gosh, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother and sister. I can't imagine.

You are not hospitalized now and don't need to be. Take it one day at a time. Reduce your risk: read the threads in this forum on Omega 3 fatty acids (cod liver oil as one source) and B vitamins. These nutrients are correlated with depression and it takes a lot of them to make a baby. In our 3rd trimester in particular, baby will be taking a lot of these nutrients out of your body and your risk will increase. hedge your risk now by increasing them in your diet.

I think it is important to have a psychiatrist you can trust. If your psychiatrist is making you feel threatened then perhaps you could first share your concerns with her and second, seek a secind opinion.

Psych hospitalizations are of limited utility and are quite capable of doing more harm than good. Of course, your doctor may be right--I'm sure not qualified to say. But you should be able to talk about your concerns.

Hospitals rarely make depression better. They are good for closely monitoring potentially dangerous medicaiton reactions, for preventing *very short-term* impulses to suicide or self-injury from coming to fruition, and for allowing a bit of mental space and retreat from trying to cope.

They are not good for curing depression or for keeping someone safe long term. They can't make depression or grief better. And less than optimal nutrition, exercise, surroundings, etc., can slow recovery.

i'm in my first bout of pg related depression (actually doing much better this week)--prenantal depression--and am at very high risk for ppd, mostly bc I've had a lot of depression issues in the past. I've been hospitalized, once by choice, twice on um, strong recommendation. It was productive in some ways and unproductive in others. But i've talked to doctors who wante dto hospitalize me for very poor, ill-defined reasons. One of them attempted to be downright coercive about it. That was scary. I found a different doctor and to this day am glad of it.

mama, i have no advice but i wanted to say that i am so, so deeply sorry for the loss of your mother and sister. i can't imagine how difficult that must be.

Hello amm0406 sorry to hear about your mother and sister and the hard time you had with your first child.
I too had a very difficult time after the birth of my daughter and spent some time in a mental health clinic [nice way of putting it]. I actually had post natal pyschosis so I was very severe and had to be in hospital for the safety of myself and my child. It isn't nice being in hospital and I did not want to be there, but sometimes the medical profession can put you there whether you like it or not.
Now I never got ill after the birth of my second child a son, and was on anti depressants while I was pregnant with him and while I breastfeed him for 6 months, so that is a possibility. There are some medications out there that are safe in pregnancy and breastfeeding.
With the difficulties you have been through and the grief you are going through I would think it would make your risks higher that you will get it again [ just being realistic here, not trying to upset or scare you] so be prepared.
I had a lot of stresses while pregnant with my first, infertility and miscarriage before, husband lost his job while I was pregnant , we moved house, the pregnancy was difficult and I ended up having a emergency C/S under a general. My second pregnancy was completely stress free and I sailed through the post partum period.
I know how scary it is being pregnant and knowing that possibility at the end but whatever happens you will get over it all, and one day will be well and happy with all these trauma's behind you.
Best wishes and I hope you do not go through it again.