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Ok, I'll admit that I never wanted to have a child in school, so maybe my perspective is skewed, but my kid's school is really ticking me off.<br><br>
First it was them giving me a hard time about keeping her home when she is sick. My daughter has HIV and I told them when I enrolled her that I would be keeping her home whenever I felt it was appropriate for her health, regardless of what their guidelines are. She has been in school for 2 months and has missed 3 1/2 days. I always call to let them know and provide a doctor's note, if appropriate, but they are telling me that her attendance is extremely important for their state funding. Excuse me, I thought her attendance was extremely important for her own education!<br><br>
Then it was the nurse coming into the class with information about the meningitis vaccine and telling the kids to come home and tell their parents they needed to get the shot at school because if they didn't, THEY COULD GET MENINGITIS AND DIE! WITHING 24 HOURS EVEN! THAT'S HOW FAST MENINGITIS CAN KILL YOU! Yeah, this is the last thing that my daughter, who watched her parents die of AIDS and knows she has a possibly fatal disease, needs to hear. She cried for hours, even after I assured her that she has ALREADY had this vaccine. What's with the frickin' scare tactics?<br><br>
Today she comes home with a note from the teacher "reminding" me that I haven't sent in money for the book fair books my daughter wants. They took the kids to the book fair last week and made them each choose four books to put on their "wish list." The wish list was accompanied with a really sappy, guilt-inducing letter about how the child would really enjoy adding these books to her library and look at the <b>low low</b> prices at the book fair! Ok, my kid has her own library card and goes to library every week. She can't even read the level of books that she had on her list (she's an English language learner) and when I asked her what the books were about, she had no idea and said her teacher said each kid had to pick four books for their wish list. She wrote down what her friends wrote down. (One was a good book, Bridge to Terabithia, but I don't think the subject matter is appropriate for my particular child) and the rest were fluff books. I explained to my daughter that she can get any of these books at the library and that she can buy new books for herself at the bookstore with the gift card her grandmother sends EVERY MONTH and that we don't need to buy book fair books just because the school is having a book fair (and honestly, right now we can't even afford the $24 that her four books would cost). So the letter the teacher sent home to me reminded me that "Parents who care have children who read."<br><br>
I know that all these things are targeted at the parents who don't really give a cr*p, and that some of them need prodding from the school to make sure their kid shows up, gets healthcare, or reads, but I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PARENTS. And I'm kinda tired of how intrusive the school is being.<br><br>
Sorry, rant over.<br><br>
dm
 

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Moms who care take their kids to the library too and teach them that love cannot be measured by a dollar value! And moms who care keep their kids home when they are looking out for their health! You are right, these things are not targeted at you but I can see why they still would bug you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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those things would really peeve me off too...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dziejen</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7941382"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Moms who care take their kids to the library too and teach them that love cannot be measured by a dollar value! And moms who care keep their kids home when they are looking out for their health! You are right, these things are not targeted at you but I can see why they still would bug you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
they do this, it isn't fair to you or the child and I would complain. The one year we tried public school it was all about money and funding. The even gave the children their own photos (I didn't know they had been taken, and cettianly hadn't ordered any...they took photos TWICE) worth $50 and expected me to pay for them because the teacher allowed the kids to open them. It's a ploy and it's allowed because the company funds the school X dollars for access to your child. The book sellers do this same thing.<br><br>
Its frustrating to say the least, and besides removing her from the system all you can do is TEACH her.l
 

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Are there any other school choices for you?<br><br>
It seems pretty ridiculous. Your kid is HIV positive. You would think that her health would matter to them.<br><br>
Maybe you can convince your dd to stay home next year? That just seems too much, imo.<br><br>
My schooled child has choice because the alternative to home is respectful. This doesn't seem respectful. It might be time for you to put your foot down.<br><br>
I'm sorry. It would break my heart to have my child in a school which would not recognize her health needs. That's simply evil.<br><br>
ETA the word evil where I first wrote cruel.
 

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Perhaps talk with the teacher if you haven't done so yet. I'm a teacher and many things that come home are from the library, office, etc...and I have nothing to do with. I often feel they are a poor representation of what I value in my classroom but I am obligated to do so. Your child's teacher could be great ally and very likely is not part of the machine that is making you crazy. She or he may be able to act on your behalf. Just a thought...I'm sorry this has been your experience! Most of us really want a good education for the children in our care and could care less about the other stuff...
 

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If you or a doc excuses the absence, don't they get paid for that day? Isn't that the difference between an excused and an unexcused absence?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Flor</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7943908"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If you or a doc excuses the absence, don't they get paid for that day? Isn't that the difference between an excused and an unexcused absence?</div>
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It's like that in MA, but I don't think the OP is from MA or CA. I think we are often kind ahead of the national curve...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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I hope you contacted the school about the vaccine scare tactics- that was completely innapropriate.<br><br>
The "remember to send in all this money for something stupid and we'll try to make you feel guilty if you don't" letter is, unfortunately, pretty typical for schools and fairly easily ignored.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry.<br><br>
I'm not sure where you're at, but this totally sounds like what my mom went through with my brother (and probably me). We live in SoCal.<br><br>
It's very common practice to do all you stated. Regular public schools in my area are not interested in children's well being but the all mighty state funded dollar. Fundraisers abound -- while I remember maybe one a year as an elementary student, I think my brother was doing at least 2-3 a year as a high school student (we're about 12 year apart in age.) But on the flip side, school funding is low (even worse in my current city) and in a way I can see why they do this, even though I don't agree with it.<br><br>
Your reason are some of the major ones as to why I'd rather homeschool the kids.
 

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I assume your DD has an IEP for "other health impaired". I'd think that would cover the absences! If the school says it doesn't, it's time for a meeting with the IEP folks.
 
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