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Discussion Starter #1
So I'm up in the air right now right now. My Ds did the Christmas program at school and I was REALLY surprised that he participated as far as hand signs for the songs.<br><br>
Now they are getting ready for the Spring program. His teacher said that he won't sing and that she thinks he should skip that day. He doesn't like to sing. Group activities are really hard for him. But I'm kinda feeling that if he can stand with the group and not disrupt the class that he should be allowed to participate by just standing there. For an Autistic child just being part of the group is a big thing, KWIM?<br><br>
The teacher asked me what I think. I haven't responded yet. (It was in his daily notebook) Maybe I should just keep him home from school that day? But then what kind of example am I setting for the future? Yeah, group things are hard for him, but I can't keep him home forever just because he doesn't like groups. I thought that helping him with these types of things was good, instead of avoiding them. I asked him and he is indifferent. He doesn't want to sing, which is fine. But the attending is not a problem. But the teacher thinks that if he doesn't sing he shouldn't participate.<br><br>
I don't know. I need more opinions... if this was your child what would you do?
 

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I don't have a child with special needs but my children have had classmates with special needs and I have worked in the school system so here is my opinion. I agree with you that he should participate with the class and not be kept home. Maybe he will sing maybe he won't but the same can be said for the other children. His presence is participation and may mean something to him and his classmates. When they look at pictures of the event (We all take pictures) He should be represented as a member of the class. So as long as you don't feel he will be a disruption I think he should participate.
 

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I also agree that he should go. In preschool my son never participated in any of the songs - preschool 'graduation' he just stood there. But you better believe I got some great pics of him and the rest of his class. He enjoyed being there as stressful as it was for him. I say send 'im. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I agree 100% that he should go. Dd can't participate fully in all her class activities, but as long as she's comfortable being there, we go. Heck, she's going to dance recital next month, despite the fact that she doesn't know one single step of the dance!! She's perfectly content to be on stage and bop to the music, and her teacher is fine with that.
 

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OMG! I have a dd with special needs and I would be livid if a teacher suggested my child not attend school because he or she did not want to/could not participate in whatever the activity might be. If your son can stand in with the group but not sing, why on earth should she suggest he stay home???!!!<br>
Good grief, let's just go backwards a hundred years and lock them in a room away from everyone's sight. That's where she sounds like she is going....<br>
as a mom to a child who once was tube fed and a bystander told me in a restaurant that she had no place being there--I swear, I would have choice words. But I'd present them in a calm, dignified way.<br>
However, in my heart: shame on her--and a teacher at that!
 

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Discussion Starter #6
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>GranoLLLy-girl</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7962497"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">OMG! I have a dd with special needs and I would be livid if a teacher suggested my child not attend school because he or she did not want to/could not participate in whatever the activity might be. If your son can stand in with the group but not sing, why on earth should she suggest he stay home???!!!<br>
Good grief, let's just go backwards a hundred years and lock them in a room away from everyone's sight. That's where she sounds like she is going....<br>
as a mom to a child who once was tube fed and a bystander told me in a restaurant that she had no place being there--I swear, I would have choice words. But I'd present them in a calm, dignified way.<br>
However, in my heart: shame on her--and a teacher at that!</div>
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</tr></table></div>
Ya know, that made something come to mind... does the teacher think that if not all the kids sing or participate it looks bad for HER? Maybe that is what she is thinking? Either way I agree with you.
 
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