[Media Mama]

I think my partner has completely forgotten that I'm pregnant (this is our second baby). With the first pregnancy, we talked about it all the time and he was really involved. This time he rarely even tries to feel the baby move, much less consider middle names...

: Does he need a dope-slap (as they say on Car Talk) or is this typical for a second pregnancy?

 

[erikaa]

everyone keeps telling me it's normal.

i finally broke down and asked my DH how he was feeling about this second baby coming because the only thing he had said about the pregnancy was that i was getting big!

i was beginning to wonder if he regretted his original feelings about having another.

i further pushed him and reminded him how we only had a few months left before this little one arrived and had he considered any of the preparations we'd have to make....of course his answer was no!

he's gotten a little better since then about asking how the baby is doing, but he never tries to feel movement unless i prompt him and he never "talks into the microphone" (my belly button) like he did with DD.

I find it discouraging but I try to remember that he's a man and they don't think like women do. Plus I'm not a moaner and groaner, so he probably thinks I feel fantastic all the time and doesn't think to ask if I could use some help.

good luck with your hubby!

 

[ladybugchild77]

I think it's just a second pregnancy thing - Jeremy was sooooo excited when I was pregnant with Kiera but with this one he has "been there done that" and it's not the same...Don't worry, Mama - we're excited for you!!!

(Your dh is too...I promise)

 

[Peony]

Count my DH as well. I'm the only one who ever brings up baby, or discusses issues, as far as he is concerned I've just gotten really fat in the last few months.

He has only felt the baby move once, and I had to make him feel, once he felt one little kick, he was done. I just keep reminding myself that once it's here, he'll have to pay attention.

 

[Media Mama]

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know that he hasn't turned into some insensitive monster, he's just a normal guy!

We did talk about it tonight and he has promised to pay more attention...his intentions are good, but we'll see!

 

[mamajody]

Doesn't that make you nuts? The only reason my DH is paying attention is because it is twins, and I am off my feet most of the day. That means he has to do everything for me.

It's hard to ignore the kidlets when they have made him my SLAVE wahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

 

[LionTigerBear]

My hubby is different than this. He loves it when I'm pregnant, he thinks I'm sexiest when I'm pregnant. He gets more involved when I start to get big though. This is technically our third pregnancy, as our second ended in a miscarriage, and he is very protective, doesn't want to me to DO anything, (move stuff etc.) but I do anyway. But it's sweet. He has taken over doing the dishes entirely, and often helps with dinner and laundry, which is unusual and I definitely appreciate it. He's always asking me what I need help with and reminding me to get enough rest or sleep. He gives me awesome massages too, in fact, more this time than the first time I was pregnant! One of the main reasons I was so attracted to hubby as hubby-material is that he loves kids and wanted to have a big family and he has been such a great dad. After I had a very hard birthing with our first, I said I could never do this again, and he said, "that's okay, we can adopt!" He is really good with newborns and babies too. I love my hubby!

But I think dads/husbands like him probably aren't the norm either.

 

[deliarose]

Well, it is nice reading all the posts so I know that I am not the only one with a DH that is not at all tuned it. I guess it is helpful to have a 23 month old that talks to my belly and wants to "see" the baby. DH has hardly talked about names except to say no to everything that I like. sigh!

 

[Media Mama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by deliarose Well, it is nice reading all the posts so I know that I am not the only one with a DH that is not at all tuned it. I guess it is helpful to have a 23 month old that talks to my belly and wants to "see" the baby. DH has hardly talked about names except to say no to everything that I like. sigh!

That's us! My toddler shows more interest in my "baby belly" than hubby and likes all the names I suggest (he nixes most of them)!

Oh well, he has other good qualities...

 

[erikaa]

Caitlin320, I am so jealous!

the way you describe your husband is how I always expected mine to be when I married him.

i used to see him interact so sweetly with other people's children and I thought he'd be the most supportive DH when it came to our pregnancy.

With DD he was OK, but I still never got many offers for help or massages unless I was obviously in need of help!

he's a good dad, don't get me wrong, but I just expected him to be super dad!

 

[citizenfong]

Yk what I think? I just think that 9 months is a loooonngggg time for someone who is not experiencing every little change (or *has* never or *will* never) to sustain excitement. My dh acts the same way, but once in a while will reveal that he IS thinking about the pregnancy. Also, being action oriented, I think a lot of guys don't figure there's anything that need their "doing" during pregnancy. Especially since they aren't known for empathetic thinking or anticipating needs.

However, when I say, "Oooooh, honey, I LOVE this baby hammock and wish we could afford it," he says, "That's nothin'. I can *make* you something as good as that." And then he proceeds to start feverishly researching springs...okay, maybe "feverishly" is the wrong word...how about willingly?