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Showers for second child (or more!)

  • Yes

    Votes: 43 75.4%
  • No

    Votes: 14 24.6%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I have found that it varies by area but this board is so different from others I figured I would ask here also!<br><br>
My sister (somehow) managed to get 3 showers.....her first two were girls and 14 months apart, then her third is a boy and 3 years later. She had a shower for each and none of the guests seemed to mind. My friend of 15 years had her second boy 5 years after her first and had a second shower and now is due in Sept with a girl....I'm sure she will get another for this one.<br><br>
I do not mind going to these showers and didn't even think of things being wrong until another site brought up the 'tacky' word in association to more than one shower. I always go and always bring a gift. I look at showers as a celebration of the coming life. Some people have mentioned it is only to celebrate the new mother and therefore any more kids after the first do not get a shower since the mother has already celebrated this milestone.<br><br>
Now, the question is being posed to me as to when I may want to have my shower. I had a girl 15 months ago and I am expecting a boy in Oct. My children will be 20 months apart. A girl at work mentioned "Now we definately have to have a shower....you will need some boy stuff!!" Before I discovered that this is a no-no in certain places I would have happily gone along with whatever was planned. Like I said, I see these as a celebration of the individual baby!<br><br>
So your thoughts????
 

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I held a second shower for my sister who had two boys 19 months apart. I see the baby shower as a celebration of the coming birth of the baby.<br><br>
For my baby, my MIL held a shower for my husband's side of the family and then my sister and cousins held a celebration after the baby arrived for my side of the family to meet the baby.<br><br>
If anyone offers to have a baby shower for me this time, I would not turn it down. We'll probably have another meet the baby celebration a month or so after the baby is born.
 

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If anyone were to offer to host a shower for me, I would not turn it down either! Each new baby is a new little life to celebrate. Plus for others, if they find out what they are having, and it's a different gender than they've ever had, how is it NOT logical that they need a shower? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I've had 2 showers for 2 pregnancies. Second preg was a different gender and not twins and I was living in a totally different state, knowing completely different people, so that helped too! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
However, this time (same gender as #2, different state and people) I have asked my best friend (stayathomemommy here on mdc) for a Mother's Blessing instead of a shower.<br><br>
I think showers for multiple kids are just fine, not tacky or weird or whatever. My second shower, my sil threw it for me, and she put something in there about how we'd appreciate girls clothes of all sizes. I've been to diaper showers.
 

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i think each baby deserves to be celebrated, so if someone wants to throw a shower, why not? heck, some people have 3+ showers for 1 baby, and thats not tacky, why is it tacky to have one for another child later?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I thought about that after I posted this. A girl at work had 9 yes 9 showers for her baby girl (due in June 07). IMO that was a little extreme, why not combine a few of them?? So how is that okay but 1 for each is wrong?
 

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i don't see why not ~ if someone wants to host a party for each baby, that's great <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> i've never had or even been to a baby shower, so i have no idea if they are worth it or not <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Okay, anonymous "no" voters, please get some guts and tell us why you voted "no" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ashleyhaugh</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8232411"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i think each baby deserves to be celebrated, so if someone wants to throw a shower, why not? heck, some people have 3+ showers for 1 baby, and thats not tacky, why is it tacky to have one for another child later?</div>
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Right on.
 

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My personal opinion of a couple of nay sayers with my second baby and shower, was that they were actual jealous. I am hoping that someone will be sweet enough to throw me a shower for this third baby, but I do not want to ask. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: I still do not have many newborn items, as have gotten rid of them with each new child.
 

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We had a Blessingway for my first in addition to 2 other showers. I would love another Blessingway but no more showers.<br><br>
I also want to add that sometimes you have no choice in how many showers you get...people want to throw them for you. It's not like we plan our own (usually). So if someone plans one for me that is great! But I would rather have just one Blessingway for each pregnancy.
 

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I had two showers with my first baby, one for family/friends and one for co-workers. I didn't ask for either. I'm pregnant with my second and this one is a boy also. My SIL wants to throw me a shower as does another friend of mine. I love getting gifts but for me that isn't the best part of the shower. It's seeing everyone and eating LOL. I think everyone pregnant Mother and baby needs to be celebrated no matter if gifts are involved or not. If someone thinks they are tacky I'd rather they not come anyway. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

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My first shower was very small. It was kind of last minute and early in my pregnancy because my mom was going to be in town and we wanted to have it while she was here. The second was a total suprise at work. It was huge - there must have been 50 of my colleagues there! Since folks knew we already had most everything they got us a double jogging stroller and a bunch of gift cards. It was awesome!!!
 

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I love showers for every baby. I do think there are "tacky" and "non-tacky" ways to do it, and just by merit of having a different gender, it's not tacky at all! I totally agree that each child should be celebrated, and there are a lot of different ways to do that. I was really bummed when no one stepped up to do a shower for me (after I'd hosted multiple second showers) for our second. So we took the helm and had a "welcome baby" party when he was 6 weeks old. It was small, in our home, and a nice come-and-go type event to let people come and meet him. Wasn't perfect, but it was nice. I felt a bit guilty when people brought gifts, but they were very much appreciated!<br><br>
On the other hand, I've been invited to a shower for a mom-to-be who's having a second child of the same gender quite close together. There were a few things about the invite that just kinda made me scratch my head. It was definitely a typical baby shower sort of thing, complete with notice of where she (and the other mama in the joint shower, who also already had a baby of the same gender) were registered. This, I thought, was a bit much. Wouldn't they already have everything they needed, less than 2 years down the line? I did realize that they were creating an entirely separate room for the two children (dunno why?) and therefore were trying to assemble all new furnishings for it. But it did confuse me a bit. If I hadn't had 15 other things on the same day, I would've gone, though.<br><br>
Less seemingly-tacky ideas for similar situations (that is to say, ideas that don't seem to be begging for more baby stuff) include meal parties, where everyone brings a freezable meal for after the baby's born. I also loved the idea of giving people the option to bring restaurant gift cards (especially for places where they bring it to your car!). I love the idea of mama showers, too, to pamper the mom or give things that a mama will need with the new baby. Diaper parties are popular, too, but harder when you're CDing and there aren't many (if any) local resources. There are definitely good ways to do showers! I really don't even mind a fairly standard shower/party without a theme... I just think it should be done tactfully, you know? And most are!<br><br>
I imagine no one will step up for a pre-baby shower for this (our third), either, but in part that's because we don't know the gender. Should it be a girl (as I dreamed it was last night!), then perhaps there will be a shower. If not, we'll do another welcome party. I just totally believe that each child is worth celebrating!!
 

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I had 3 showers with DS (my first and loved it!!) I had one shower with DD and really needed things since I was having a girl and during a different season. I couldn't even reuse sleepers, etc b/c it was at a different time of the year.<br><br>
This time I'm debating. I'll need some clothes either way since I'll have this baby two months later in the year than DS was born and 7 months later in the year than DD. So the seasons won't match up with another girl at all. Maybe with a boy.<br><br>
I don't know if I'll have a shower or not anyway. But I'm sure grandparents and my siblings will buy a good bit for me either way!<br><br>
I think every baby should have a shower or something done. Each baby is special and important and deserves to be celebrated!!
 

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I had 2 showers for my first pregnancy -- one where I was living at the time, and another about an hour away, where my family and childhood friends lived.<br><br>
I guess I can see that mentioning a registery for a second+ baby shower that was really close to a first baby shower, and for the same gender, MIGHT be kind of tacky, ya know?<br><br>
Btw, also it could be a religious thing -- my mom is Jewish and was absolutely HORRIFIED at the idea of throwing me a baby shower -- in the Jewish religion, there are few showers as it's supposed to be bad luck. I believe with me, she even kept all my baby stuff at SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE until after I was born. Also, when she finally came around to it, she went APE about my registry; she thought it was tacky to register and mention the registry on the invite or when people RSVP'ed.<br><br>
I was also pregnant with twins and unmarried. I really broke her in, the old girl! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Hell no, it's tacky.<br><br>
Unless the children are significantly spaced apart, 5-7 or more years, I see absolutely no reason to have a second shower. Showers are to provide you with the large ticket item baby equipment that you will use for all the children you have.<br><br>
I just have to agree with the Emily Post book on this one. Sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Blessingways and welcome the baby things w/o the whole gift thing work for me. But the whole, get gifts again b/c it's a new baby, no way. Very tacky.<br><br>
Liz
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
See, the large ticket item thing does not apply with me. Example: the only large ticket items we got at my first childs shower were travel system (MIL and SIL) and bassinett (mom, grndmom, sister) but most of it was clothes. The same held true with my work shower....clothes, towels, etc. Also, with #1 we got large ticket items in gender neutral so really, if we were to get a second shower it would be clothes and suck that we need. It is really interesting to see the difference in yes and no between here and other boards though!
 

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I would not have a shower for a second child. We don't do it in my family or in my circle of friends.<br><br>
I also want to point out that the term "Blessingway" embodies the appropriation of a very sacred Navajo ceremony.<br><br>
I think that Peggy O'Mara of Mothering has called for the use of the term "Mothers Blessing" rather than "Blessingway" because the use and co-optation of the ceremony has the potential to be quite offensive to those for whom the ceremony is sacred.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>swimswamswum</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8234967"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would not have a shower for a second child. We don't do it in my family or in my circle of friends.<br><br>
I also want to point out that the term "Blessingway" embodies the appropriation of a very sacred Navajo ceremony.<br><br>
I think that Peggy O'Mara of Mothering has called for the use of the term "Mothers Blessing" rather than "Blessingway" because the use and co-optation of the ceremony has the potential to be quite offensive to those for whom the ceremony is sacred.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/offtopic.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="offtopic"> I studied Navajo in my 'World Religions" class in college a century ago. It was my absolute favorite religion to study. Fascinating stuff.
 
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