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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The quick version of my story:<br>
I was VERY anti-paci with ds1. Enter ds2 & ds3 (twins) and the situation changes (that's an understatement btw!) So here we are with two babies using pacis - one who is much more dependent than the other.<br><br>
I'm frustrated with the pacis because we now have 2 babes with strong sucking to sleep associations who wake freq in the night. I know this isn't that unusual but can't help but wonder if they would sleep better if I got rid of the pacis and helped them develop new sleep associations. When they wake, they won't accept the paci but rather want to nurse. They don't really eat (and so don't seem hungry to me) but rather take a few sucks and back to sleep. I suppose this probably would be nothing to complain about but I'm finding that because there are 2 I'm up most hours of the night.<br><br>
My question for those of you who have dc who are or have used pacis: Would you recommend trying to get rid of them earlier rather than later (my ds's are 7 mo old). Or simply let them decide when they don't need it anymore. I have a HUGE issue with toddlers walking around with pacis in their mouths so if we continue with the pacis I would probably restrict their use to sleep time.
 

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ds is 17 montsh and we still have the paci -- it has been great for teething as he chews it -- in fact the ONLY time he wants it not in bed or carseat is tething.<br><br>
We are expecting a new one 6 days before his 2nd birthday --<br><br>
ds is still nurseing storng (NAK and this is time 6+ since we got up at 7 and it is 9:40)<br><br>
we expect to TN<br><br>
however I am NOT making any moves to take Binki till well after the new baby, till we see how he ajusts and till after the holdiays -- both birthday are early Nov so when we do soemthign 'at an age" I tend to wait 8 more weeks till after new years as i do not feel it fair to anyone to try to make changes in teh holsday season.<br><br>
So I am not sure i can really answer you<br><br>
if retro spect -- if i had waited to take Bink -- BEFORE teething would have been the best time to do it -- unless you are like me and are ok with them having it loonger.<br><br><br>
i don't know that there is ever a good answer re: sleep and frequent wakings. binki or not, if not the binki they may just use the boob.... it may not actually effect the night wakings at all!<br><br>
DS wakes 8+ times night STILL at 17 months. he has always binki to sleep due to relfux, when he was small and would nurse, i'd have to burp him, thus waking him, so to scuk to sleep had to be bink. now he nurses at night, rolls over and replaces his bink on his own and sleeps (or toss and thruns for an hour -- our real issue <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ). I kinda hope WITH the bibk at some point, he will wake, replace bink and go back to sleep without the whole wake momma, nurse, get my back rubbed, process that requires ME.<br><br>
I guess that was along way of saying -- i don't know<br><br>
Aimee
 

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Mhhh... why are you so anti-pacifier? I think it is easy to restrict the paci to sleep only when they are beyond the teething phase. At that point, they will have learnt to find the paci on their own in their bed at night and will more often than not stop waking you up to look for their paci (you can always sprinkle a few binkies on the bed to be sure they are going to find at least one). I think some children have a very strong urge to suck, other babies less so. You cannot quite change that. If you remove the paci when this need is not been grown out of, likely the baby is going to suck on their thumb, and that is something that you cannot take away during the day and that also has much worse consequences for the teeth.
 

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My son is 4.5 months old and uses a paci. He uses it most when napping/sleepling at night and when riding in the car. He has just cut his first tooth, and I agree with Aimee that he used it more often during teething.<br><br>
Since we cosleep, I don't really mind the sucking to sleep association. There are times when he stirs at night that I know he isn't hungry, so I just give him back his paci and he drifts quickly back to sleep. He is also getting to the point where he can take it out and put it back in himself, and I think that that will make it easier too.<br><br>
I don't really see a problem with babes having binkies as long as it is not hurting the nursing relationship. Since we are bottle nursing and he cannot suck for comfort on an empty bottle, pacis are it. I don't think I'll start worrying about weaning him off it until much later. I may take it away during the day, but not for sleeping.
 

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i agree as long as the paci doesn't effect nuresing -- and trust me for us it never did and still doesn't. you offer it when he wants boob and it willbe THROWN, L)<br><br>
and once the teeth are settled we are going to go to bed / car seat only......<br><br>
but i am not gonna fight it -- i rather him have paci than suck a thumb or fingers -- or chew clothing.<br><br>
SO I gues it all comes doen to WHY you feel the need to be rid of them sooner rather than later....... and what youir kids indivdual needs are. i had a strong suck need, so does DS. DN 2 does, DN 1 did not.....<br><br>
Aimee
 

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My ds is a paci baby too... mostly for naps and at bedtime, I would just nurse him during his night wakings then replace his paci and let him fall asleep with it. After reading NCSS, I am trying to break the sucking to sleep association and weaning him from the paci all together. What I do now at night is just nurse until his sucking slows, then pull away, if he roots or fusses, I let him nurse again, then pull away, and continue this until he just falls asleep when I pull away. It has been going really well, he has actually been sleeping more soundly without the paci I think. It takes a little more time and energy at first, but I think in the long run it will be worth it.<br><br>
We haven't tackled naps yet, but I have a feeling that once we get rid of it totally at night, the rest will sort of just follow naturally.
 

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I was also anti paci, and my children both had to have them. A friend I used to work with successfully and nearly tearlessly took her DC's pacis at 7 monthes, that is supposedly about when their urge for non nutriative sucking goes away. I missed this with my DD, however, as we had just moved. I don't know if DD2 will wean this early either, just wanted to post that it is possible that they may lose interest a little.
 

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I'm also anti-pacifier, but honestly, this doesn't sound like a pacifier issue at all.<br><br>
7 mo old babies tend to wake a lot. And then need to nurse back to sleep. Just goes with the territory.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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Follow your baby's lead on this one, I think. As a pp said, some babies have a much stronger need to suck than others. My first loved his binky and my second never used one. The sucking to sleep association is very common...whether it's a binky or the breast. I think a lot of the books and docs make us feel that this is somehow bad, but I think it's really normal.
 

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Why are you anti-paci?? My dd is 19 mos old and still uses the binky. Without it she sucks on her fingers or thumbs and I'd rather have her suck on the binky. Some kids have stronger sucking needs than others and fighting it will only make both of you frustrated.
 

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With my first, I worried about it but followed his desire/need to suck on a binky. 4 years later, it's a thing of the past and no big deal. I wouldn't worry about it.
 

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I, along with you and many others, were very anti paci until I had dd. She uses it to sleep as well. I was trying to wean her at 3.5 months, she is 4 mons now and nowhere near ready. If you really want to get rid of it, I would find other ways to put babe to sleep and if, after a couple of mins it doesn't seem to be working out then give back into the paci. Just keep trying and maybe you will succeed. That is what I was doing and it was working great until the teething situation. Now I just let her have it, I will deal with it later, or maybe not; Your babes might just give them up on their own. I agree that babes need to suck, some more than others. It isn't a bad thing! Trust your baby.
 

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i was so anti-binki<br><br>
till no one slept for 7 weeks. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
DS needs to suck to sleep -- not always any more at 17 months, but even now mostly.<br><br>
Due to GER and screaming pain, and throwing up -- i HAD to burp him before he slept aft er eating --- wellllll THAT woke him, then he'd want to boob to go back to sleep.....do you see the cycle i lived for 7 weeks???? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: he slept a tiny bit, i did not.<br><br>
but the intresting this is -- after say month 2 he will not, would not, still will not fall asellep on the boob -- like the milk prevent him from sleeping. when he was say 6 to 9 months and so on -- still now but it is less drastic -- he would viloently pull off the boob, roll over, grab the binki and fall asleep. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Now he nurses to his content, sits back, put the binki in his mouth and hold his arms out to me (or rolls over if we are in bed) and put his head down and stroks my hair (or pulls) till he falls asleep. even nurseing in teh sling -- when he would nurse / sleep / nurse / sleep when he was little he stopped falling asleep om the boob.<br><br>
I am a nail biter, and mom thinks she took my binbki too soon. I am going to try my best to follow his lead. he is still; a baby. Espcailly with the new baby coming.<br><br>
AImee
 

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My kids both ditched the paci on their own at around 3 months, but it doesn't sound like the paci has anything to do with anything if your real issue is them waking up at night to nurse, right? It's not as if they're waking for the paci, and both of my older paci-less babies have done what you're describing. Honestly if they're not overly dependent on the paci for anything, yes, I'd ditch it now rather than later because it seems easier to do at this age. While I haven't weaned anybody from a paci, it seems like it can be a lot harder to do once an older toddler has attached some emotional comfort stuff to it too beyond just the need to suck, KWIM? But, if you're using it at times when you can't get to them just this second then I can see keeping it. I'm no help! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
If the real issue is their comfort nursing at night I can't help you out a whole lot...it's not a huge deal for me but I only have had one at a time! Maybe the mama's of multiples can help more there.
 

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Reading your post, my first thought is... man I wish my DD had used a binki at that age! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
With 2 babes, I think that if you take the binky, you are going to have other sleep and suck issues. I was BFing for every time it sounds like you are finding a pacifier. With 2 little ones, I think I would go crazy.<br><br>
I dont think its bad to introduce other ways to go to sleep, but I dont think I would take a comfort tool away if I didnt absolutely have to. That doesnt mean you cant have more "tools in your toolbox" so to speak. Rocking, rubbing, singing, whatever.<br><br>
I hope you get some sleep <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7929805"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm also anti-pacifier, but honestly, this doesn't sound like a pacifier issue at all.<br><br>
7 mo old babies tend to wake a lot. And then need to nurse back to sleep. Just goes with the territory.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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I have twins, they are almost ten now. One didn't care at all for a paci and the other couldn't live without one. I let him keep it and he took it everywhere, even to school and around age five the last one disappeared. I got to the point where I just didn't buy anymore. He would go to the store with me and talk about how much he wanted to buy a new paci and we would go look and talk about it but in the end he always ended up buying something else.<br><br>
I don't think it hurt him a bit, he still wanted to nurse, his teeth are fine, no need for braces and he is a very attached child. He was clingy as a baby and that may be a twin issue because as you know it is nearly impossible to give them the amount of 1:1 that you can give with a singleton.<br><br>
Of course he did wake up and cry for it in the night. He still wanted to co-sleep and nurse. Maybe if I had gotten rid of it and let him CIO he might have adjusted but I never had the heart to do that. He is my only child who has had one and for him it was the right choice.<br><br>
I would never recommend pacifier use at all for a child who is not well established with nursing. I am really totally against them but there is always the exception. Follow your heart.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I have been following their lead and ds2 who is more attached to the paci will definitely not be giving it up on his own any time soon. I have noticed too that he sometimes sucks his thumb when the paci isn't avail. He obviously has higher sucking needs than ds3. ds2 nurses to near sleep and then I give him his paci and he falls asleep. This is working well for us and I do agree that the frequent waking is normal 7mo old behaviour (I was hoping to find a reason for it that I could have control over..ha!) As for ds3 he doesn't seem to need it as much and has been going to sleep more and more lately without it - but when he seems to need it I have been giving it. I could see him possibly giving it up without a fuss using NCSS & Pantly's Gentle Removal although I don't always have the extra time to devote to this.<br><br>
Thanks for all the input.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I was hoping to find a reason for it that I could have control over..ha!)</td>
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you're so cute <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I am still looking at 17 months <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I am glad you are finding something that works for your fam
 
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