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I don't have a single friend that doesn't go on and on about how their baby has to learn to self sooth - and not even just to bed - just in general. Why is there such an emphasis on this even for newborns. The whole, "don't pick them up if they just want picked up" mentality? I'm sure this has been discussed before, but it's been awhile since I've been on the lwab board!
 

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I believe it has something to do with both allowing them to gain independence from you as well as the mainstream parenting notion that it's possible to spoil a baby. There may also be a bit of laziness involved with this idea as well.
 

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It really bothers me when people try to tell me my DD needs to learn how to self soothe. Most humans, young and old, have the need to be comforted and soothed by someone else. If my DH was sad, angry, hurt, or tired I wouldn't tell him to go soothe himself...I would comfort him, so why is it okay to deny my innocent baby the same thing? This is usually the point I bring up to people who push self soothing.
 

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It's a bunch of crap IMO <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Maybe I'm a bad friend, but if one of my friends told me that their baby just needed to learn to self-soothe, the next time my friend called upset about something I'd just say "Oh well, guess you need to learn to self-soothe.". Babies need their needs met. Leaving a baby to cry teaches them nothing other than that their mommy and daddy won't come when they are needed. So sad IMO.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mama_lola</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9082716"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It really bothers me when people try to tell me my DD needs to learn how to self soothe. Most humans, young and old, have the need to be comforted and soothed by someone else. If my DH was sad, angry, hurt, or tired I wouldn't tell him to go soothe himself...I would comfort him, so why is it okay to deny my innocent baby the same thing? This is<br>
usually the point I bring up to people who push self soothing.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">: I totally agree!
 

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I was in the same boat when DD was a newborn. My DH was away for a month and a half (he's in the Navy) when DD was 2 months old so I went across the country to stay with my family and his (they live across the street from one another). I was constantly told that if she was crying or fussing to leave her be because she needed to learn to self soothe or that I would spoil her. Thank goodness I am a very strong willed Mama and I knew to trust my own instincts with my child. I never let her CIO nor did I not pick her up for fear of spoiling her. Also, because DH and I didn't use want to use paci's, I would use my pinky finger in order to soothe her and people always made fun of me for doing that asking if I was going to follow her to university in order for her to have my pinky.<br>
I am proud to say that she is now 21 months old and sucks her thumb when she needs to soothe herself but I am always there for her, as I always have been, when she needs me and at 21 months she isn't 'spoiled' nor is she a sissy as some people said I was turning her into. I am also practicing the same metholds for my son and at 6 months he isn't a needy/sissy baby and I have always been there for him and have 'spoiled' him according to other people.<br>
In my opinion, my children are very happy, and confident little people and they didn't learn to self soothe by being left on their own. I feel that they are they way that they are because of mine and DH's parenting style. We are very close with our children and we just laugh when someone says that we are babying them...hello...they're babies!
 
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