[grumpyshoegirl]

So a lot of books wax on about how CIO will "teach" the baby to "self-soothe." And last night as I was decidedly not requiring my baby to self-soothe, I started thinking about what modern western culture expects from babies versus older children and adults. So now I'm curious enough to do an informal survey...

How do you, the adult, self-soothe when you're upset? For the purposes of this discussion, "upset" can mean anything you want it to. (My mom and sister asked me to specify whether it was a work issue or a home issue but then gave the same answer regardless!

) To simplify maybe just consider what you do if you wake up in the middle of the night with some sort of need.

Also, those of you with older children, how do they self-soothe, if they do? (Or do they still self-soothe by nursing or cuddling?)

I think this should generate some good retorts next time someone tells me how I need to teach my daughter to soothe herself!

 

[mamak05]

Well.... chocolate has always been nice to me! Seriously, if very upset and I can get in touch with someone over the phone or in person I vent ( is that CIO as an adult?) and the chocolate works temporarily if I'm alone.

If I am trying to relax - I read, shower, yoga, chat on the phone, email, deep breathing.

Interesting post - I help soothe my daughter all night so I look forward to how others respond too!

 

[thomlynn]

During the day if dh is at work I'll call a friend and vent or cry in a hot shower. At night if I wake up scared or something I'll wake up dh and snuggle until I feel better. I would hate to be alone esspecially at night.

 

[fek&fuzz]

When I wake up in the middle of the night, I turn on the BBC radio if I'm at my house. If I'm at my bf's, I toss and turn and then he sort of wakes up and says "you ok, Hammy?" and pats me, and then his cat walks on me, and then my dog barks at something outside, and then I say the Our Father over and over until I fall asleep (mostly because I know it by heart and it prevents my mind from thinking about other things.)

Otherwise, my main method of self soothing is to eat.

 

[wendizbaby]

Eat...and I KNOW when I'm eating to relieve whatever emotion it is that I'm not comfortable with.
Soothing sounds so nice....not like what I do at all to myself when I'm scared or stressed or angry. I eat like crap and feel guilty for it, so it's not very productive.
I think it's interesting you bring this up. I'm constantly thinking about how independent people think my son needs to start being now that he's a big 6 months old. I don't know ANYONE who is good at self-soothing, so where do people get this idea that teaching babies this before they can even grasp what it means is a good thing?

Wendi