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ok. so if i do this and move. again. within the next few months... how do i financially get by if i do not have help? i suppose other mamas do it too as not every relative or friend is going to help out financially or lend their car to use as needed like i've had going on here w/ my mother...but...if you have read my crazy mother thread, i think i need to get out of living by her and using her car and taking her financial help. she is crazy. i'm tired of her manipulative ways... i'm not owning it anymore. its not me...it is her. my reaction to her crap of course needs to shift as well but i can't help arguing my point when she downs it so badly...anyway sooooo...<br><br>
monthly i get about $500 since my son was born in cash assistance, about $300 in food stamps. i do get a domestic violence allowance of up to $1200 for moving/move- in costs if i want to take the state up on that. plus any C/S i may eventually get...? don't know how much that would be as the ex may lie about his income...he is tight w/ his money and works under the table basically. ah but if the state looks up his past bank acct deposits for the past few years he's made about $140K for 2007 (maybe more) and about $100K for 2006 i think, and $80-100K the few years before...this is all w/ the IRS so i'm sure the state would look at that and not just his word of what he makes/made??? ahh but then i may have to fight him in court re. my son if he has to pay C/S...you know how these men get.......revenge if they have to pay but can't see their kids.<br><br>
i could just cry... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: here i am 6 days PP and my mother has cut me off, playing games...i'm EXHAUSTED and need sleep as my son was up most of the night w/ gas i think...i'm still sore to the max and i don't own a car. i have no extra money. how will i get wheels??? i'm not going to work when my son is only a few weeks or even a few months old!!!!!! i won't do it! so what do i do? maybe i should look at the bus route as there are busses that go around my city now...i'd rather not live on the east side of the area as i love these pines here but what can you do. maybe i should take this program up for what its offering me...??? there is no bus out this way...........i am 7 mins from the 'action'.<br><br>
my mother has a car that WAS mine.....my mom bought it (its a 95 isuzu trooper) when i moved away 2 yrs ago to save my credit for future financing possibilities she says...but she insists it is HER car. oh may i mention that her DUI ignition blower thing is installed in THIS car, not the one she drives regularly, to avoid being embarassed in front of others out in public and in front of my dd...pfff! sorry lady, that is reality when you drive drunk and get caught twice in a matter of months!!! what a LOSER she is. she is just like the abusive/manipulative men i've been w/, w/ her 'good guy' facade and really she is just a big JOKE. anyway, this car needs some sort of work......not sure how much it'd cost...but she doesn't seem to be into fixing it and i can't afford to for sure.<br><br>
any advice would be great. i think i definitely need to get out of here. mother is toxic. should i go for the other apt. idea?
 

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Don't do anything rash. I agree your situation is bad, and you need to get out, so start getting your ducks in a row. Line up alternative housing, fill out an application for public housing, and start looking for something available where you don't need a car. Maybe advertise for another single mom to pool resources with? Someone with a car, preferably. Do you have friends who could help you out with transportation until you find something else? Ask everyone you can think of for what you need until you can get on your feet, including any church groups.<br><br>
If you file for child support, he will need to provide documentation of his income, so he should have to provide tax returns. I think most states have closed up any loopholes in laws that let parents off the hook when they purposely earned less or hid income to avoid child support. You're right it does tend to come with strings though, so you'll have to keep that in mind. GOOD GOD, can't these UA violations step up and do the right thing by their kids?!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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First thing, relax, enjoy your new baby and stop stressing about everything you don't have. Yes you aren't getting along with your mom and yes she is supporting you right now and you may be losing that support, but you have to relax. You will get yourself sick otherwise. What do you need a car for? Are there buses there? I would go slow and figure one thing out at a time. Do not plan on moving, buying a car, figuring out how to support yourself all at once. Take one day at a time. You might not get Child support. The state won't look into his bank records unless you have a lawyer that subopenas them. i don't get child support for my 5 kids because their dad works under the table. His bank records would show he makes $5000 a month. i don't have a lawyer for that though. So i get nothing. I get welfare and live on school grants. And raise and support 5 kids on my own. First things. Bus pass, unless someone will cosign a cheap vehicle, subsidized housing (when you are a victim of Domestic Violence you get put at the top of the list but you have to ask), get a kid to babysit or do college online and you can get financial aid to live on also. That is what i did. I hope that helps. Don't be like me and get double mastitis with a 104 fever because i left postpartem with 5 kids and had to deal with moving, a new car, and how to support us all at once. Go slow.
 
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