Forgive me, but I am new at how to use this board and all the abbrv. My son(is it DS) is doing much better since the three and four's. For him it is tantrums and resistance with doing things. At 3 and 4 it was all the time for everything. It was so so tiring. He wasn't a seeker but fit the problems with clothes, socks, noises, smells, touch, etc.. He is delayed with fine motors due to avoiding all those things like playdough, legos, scissors etc.. In fact, I had him in preschool where he had a rageful fit when one time a teacher tried to put a smock on him without a warning and ok from him. Another time they were forcing him to cut out something and he flips over scissors.. another time it was transitioning in from the playground.. they couldn't catch him.. another time it was the smell of some food..
It got better in those ways because as his speech developed (that was delayed also) and he learned to reason and use words.. he just told me what it was. He also learned to cope with those feelings of clothing and shoes.
We found peer pressure helps to a point that he did not want to have his friends see him get upset, but we have had two big tantrums in 1st grade and he felt horrible about himself. One was due to no one helping him with the fire alarm and the other was out of the blue.. who knows why.. he said it was too noisy in the room and his pencils kept falling.
My point is some things just get plain better, but other problems don't yet. He is in public school and no one really understands special needs so what happens when these kids are mainstreamed, they get lableed as bad kids.
He struggles with handwriting and anger/fustration. He gets fatigued with the demand of the work and just to cooker cutter fit in for 6 hours. He looses it. He has an OT, but the problem for us is the regular teachers are CLUELESS. They don't accept it and they sure don't know how to create anything adaptive or accomodating. Self esteem has become our problem and the shcool has been on my case about him capable of hurting someone.
These kids MUST have and IEP or Child Study Team. If your DS is 3 1/2 and your are thinking of public or private start the intervention through your District now. I missed this big step! Than your DS has help and a support system with professionals all in play when he gets to kindergarten.
I have so far found that the teachers want my DS on Ritalin to help him calm down and focus. His grades are great, but he is all over the place trying to keep it together. Its amazing how they don't understand.
I am glad to help you through steps.
I am considering homeschooling. I really am concerned about how hard this is going to get for him esp his self esteem.
I am always in the principals office and its so tiring when the school refuses to created adaptive strategies to help a child. A special education teacher is a life saver. Get to know a few of them. They'll know more than you about your DS.