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Discussion Starter #1
We have been co-sleeping for almost 10 mos. wonderful in the beginning and now has been two months of consant night waking. won't nap for more than 20 minutes unless I am with him, won't go down at night anymore at all without one of us next to him. This means absolutely no breaks at all. I cannot nap with him most days because i also watch another child.<br><br>
we have tried many many things and nothing is helping. from what I gather from the many many "help - my baby doesn't sleep" threads here is that this is just the norm for a co-sleeping child.<br><br>
well I don't think I can take another year or two of this. I am crabby and my marriage and my relationship with my son are starting to suffer.<br><br>
Please do not flame me, I am just wondering if anyone found a way to transition into the crib that is gentle and safe.
 

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You could try either putting him in the crib in his own room, and when he wakes up, tend to his needs (I mean, he's already waking up alot, what's the difference?) or you could put the crib in your room next to your bed, and gradually push it out the door. If you go with the first one, I'd get him use to his room first before putting him in there (maybe play in there for a couple of days, then put him down for just naps there, then bed time), so he's not afraid waking up at night in an unfamiliar place. Good luck!<br><br>
*BTW, I personally have found that the waking up is NOT a cosleeping issue, it's an age issue. and if you try putting him in his own crib in his own room, you are going to be waking up the same amount of times, but now you have to trudge out of bed and into another room to tend to him, instead of just rollling over and tending to him. I personally would NEVER EVER put a baby in another room, as I need my sleep too badly and so am unable/unwilling to actually get out of bed to tend to my kids. (I'm so lazy! I even have diapers on the bottom of my bed, so I don't have to get out of bed even for a diaper change.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> )<br>
Also, about the "he naps for only 20 mins., unless I'm with him", I went through the same thing with ds, and when he'd wake up, I'd be like "OK, you don't want to sleep, we're getting up", instead of trying to force him down to sleep- through nursing. Eventually, the need for sleep won out and he started napping for longer stretches of time. Or, I'd let him nap whereever we were (ex. family room instead of his bedroom), and if family noises woke him up, oh well.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maxsmum</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7938558"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">from what I gather from the many many "help - my baby doesn't sleep" threads here is that this is just the norm for a co-sleeping child.</div>
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I think it's actually just pretty normal for that age. It's a really really hard age--developmental leaps, growth spurt, teething, separation anxiety, etc.<br><br>
How about side carring a crib? Or putting a little matress next to your bed? The No Cry Sleep Solution also has suggestions for gentle transitions.<br><br>
And <a href="http://www.mothering.com/guest_editors/quiet_place/quiet_place.html" target="_blank">this</a> article is really helpful with understanding nightwaking--I wish I had read it back when DD was a baby.
 

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Another vote for the age thing. Best wishes.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I should add that I have always rocked DS to sleep in his room. In the past he has taken naps in his crib and gone down for the night in his crib - we would usually bring him to bed with us an hour or two after he had gone to sleep and he sleeps with us through the night. So he is used to his room and his crib, he just refuses to sleep there anymore.<br><br>
I just wonder if he would wake so much if I was not right next to him all night? Maybe not.<br><br>
I can totally take a few times a night, but he is waking many many many times, I am getting NO sleep. I don't have the expectation that he should sleep throught the night, just some of it.<br>
For those who think it is age related - does this get easier soon?<br><br>
I would love to co sleep but I fear it is the co-sleeping that is making him wake more and not able to sleep on his own at all. Maybe I am very wrong about this, I am just SO tired.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>rzberrymom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7938926"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think it's actually just pretty normal for that age. It's a really really hard age--developmental leaps, growth spurt, teething, separation anxiety, etc.<br><br>
How about side carring a crib? Or putting a little matress next to your bed? The No Cry Sleep Solution also has suggestions for gentle transitions.<br><br>
And <a href="http://www.mothering.com/guest_editors/quiet_place/quiet_place.html" target="_blank">this</a> article is really helpful with understanding nightwaking--I wish I had read it back when DD was a baby.</div>
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thank you for the article it helped<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Thankfully I've been blessed with good sleepers, but even they have their bad nights. I go through a checklist: Are they hungry? Overtired? Undertired? Teething? Upset tummy? Scared of something? Spent too much time away from me and DH? Then try to make sure I have all my bases covered. If the 8 month old wants to nurse, then I nurse him. If he's teething I give him the usual remedies, which around here are clove oil and Rescue Remedy, maybe a cold treat like yogurt. If he's still awake we let him play for awhile until he seems more ready to go to bed. I nurse him some more, sometimes until he falls asleep, then I put him down on the spare bed. Most nights he'll go down between 8:30-9pm and sleep until midnight. When he wakes, we bring him to bed with us, and I don't hear from him again until its daylight. Last night Henri didn't want to go to bed. We finally gave up and we all went to bed around 10:30. Henri kicked and giggled and still didn't fall asleep for a while. But I had taken him out to a mom's meeting and he hadn't seen DH all day- and I think that's what caused the problem. He's as attached to DH as he is to me, and he has to get his playtime with Dad or he isn't happy!<br>
Sadly we are reconsidering co sleeping as well, although I doubt we will have much trouble with Henri because he sleeps alone for naps and goes to bed alone as well. I have serious back problems and there simply is not enough room in our bed for the three of us any longer. I wake up in debilitating pain some mornings. I guess my best advice to you is to keep an open mind and do what works best for you. It is not fair to the parent or the child if no one is getting any sleep!
 

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Hi maxsmum,<br><br>
We are getting ready to move into a new house, and right now 9 mo DS is sleeping with us too. I'll probably be flamed for this, but I honestly do believe that DS wakes up often b/c we cosleep. I'm not saying it is a bad thing, I just think that is how it is (even Dr. Sears says this!).<br><br>
Anyway, here is our situation now, but it will change when we move. DS really likes our bed, but he is such a good/quick crawler we can't leave him on the bed alone and we refuse to put the bed on the floor. So, we sidecarred the crib next to the bed, but then he was crawling out of that, so the rail went back on for his safety. Right now he spends the first part of the night in there and then when he wakes he comes in with us. I must admit, he did not like this arrangement. We had to work hard to calm him down to sleep in there. Singing, nursing, and I even got in the crib with him once. What I found REALLY worked was having one of our pillows (gasp!) in there with him -- I think he liked our smell from it. It is a really flat pillow, hard too, so I am pretty sure it is okay.<br><br>
When we move, we are giving DS our bed, and it will go on the floor in his room, which we will pretend is the parent's room for a while! So we are going to invest in a new bed for us and put it in our real parent's room <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I am not sure how this will all work, but I'm sure it will take some time. I really think he would sleep longer if me and DH weren't there knocking him around and shaking the bed all of the time. And yes, we/I will still wake up a few times a night to take care of him/nurse. But I am positive that it will be less than he is waking now!<br><br>
Any chance you could give your DS your bed, and you and your hubby can get a new one? And put your old bed in DS's new room?<br><br>
All the best,<br>
Jenny
 

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We transitioned our baby to naps in the nursery, but we still cosleep at night.<br><br><i>The No Cry Sleep Solution</i> has some great suggestions in it, and it might help you come up with some ideas for how to transition your babe to sleeping in his crib, at least for naps.<br><br>
I'd x-post this in Nighttime Parenting too maybe if you don't get the answers you need here.<br><br>
Good luck!<br><br>
(And we had similar issues around 10 months+ and it was related to her new mobility I think. She just wasn't sleeping as well as she'd wake herself up rolling over and try to crawl in her sleep! Turns out that's totally normal and it will pass with time.)
 

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Just wanted to add my $.02 that there is a very good chance that this is related to age. My 23 mo dd only wakes 1 or 2x per night, and we co-sleep in a queen bed. However, this was not always the case!!! Though I don't remember the details because my memory of that time is so fussy (from lack of sleep!) at around that age she was waking up a LOT and when she was teething the wake-ups happened every 45-60 min! Anyway, I'm sure it's possible that it's related to co-sleeping, and I wouldn't flame you at all for wanting to try something different, but I do think it might just be related to age.
 

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what about putting him to sleep in the crib, then when he wakes take him into your bed? .... in hopes that the first portion in the crib will get longer ?<br><br>
Its really up to you <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I can't sleep when my babies are in my bed, I'm a wild and heavy sleeper and when I tried it I was up all night stressed, so my babies have been in the crib from day one <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: ... but she is just a few feet from me as we co-room ... and I love her very much even so!
 

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My son is 11 months and I was feeling the way you are so we transitioned him into his crib. We sidecarred it with one rail open, and during the night he would migrate back to snuggle with me. After awhile I put the fourth rail up when he was used to his crib space and ever since then I've slept much, much better. He's inches away from me so I don't worry he'll cry and I won't hear, but I don't have to deal with the squirmies anymore, or worry about my tossing and turning waking HIM up. I honestly thought it was because HE was sleeping better so it wasn't waking me up, but after reading what you and others wrote, I'm wondering if he's still waking up the same amount of times, but since we're not sharing a mattress anymore I don't feel every little wiggle and shift.<br>
Good luck mama, I know sleep deprivation just ruins everything. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I had to reply to this, as we just went through this with my 6 mo old.<br>
He coslept from the beginning, but the last month woke every 30 minutes to an hour at the most. I was really becoming afraid for my safety, I was so tired!<br>
Then I started putting him in his crib to sleep (in his room), and he would sleep a little longer, and when he woke, back to bed with me.<br>
Then I woke one night to see him crawling over the mound of pillows that I had on the end of the bed to keep him in.<br>
So, I started going to him in the crib when he woke, but just nursing for about 15 min, then back to the crib, and he's been sleeping til 630. I put him down at 7-8 and he wakes around 330 and back to bed til 630.<br>
I think a lot of times it is the age thing, but with my son, he definitely needs his own space.<br>
HTH<br>
Heather
 

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I've been going through the same thing with my 9 month old son. About a week ago we got him a twin bed (that he can use for the next 15 years) and put it on the floor against the wall with our bed on the floor pushed up against it. We have a bed PALACE in our bedroom <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But anyway, I lay down with him in it at night, boob him down, and then when he is good and asleep I roll back over to bed with my husband. Our son ends up in bed with us by 4 or 5 am, but from 8 or 9 until 4 or 5 he has only woken twice whereas when he was in our queen bed he was waking every hour. It has REALLY helped my sanity. I wasn't ready to give up co-sleeping (and I really don't think it would have been good for my son either) so this is <i>perfection</i> for us.<br><br>
Also, just in the last week or so naps have gone kaput. From all my reading and listening to other moms in my mama group it is temporary and very common at this age. As if that helps!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Good luck finding your perfection! I hope you find it soon!!
 
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