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I am forced to be around a couple of people just about every day of my life who exhibit extremely, extremely, extremely annoying behavior. I wouldn't say I'm a very easily irritated person, but *anyone* would be annoyed in this situation. I don't want to go into too many details at the risk of possibly hurting someone's feelings, but suffice to say that the annoying things they do are just part of their personalities -- not something that can be changed with gentle nudging or anything like that, and nothing offensive that requires reprimanding. Just plain annoying. And I can't get away from these people. I literally feel like I'm going to SCREAM when I'm around them most of the time, and I am mad at myself for letting their behaviors bother me so much. It has really been causing a lot of stress in my life. (And no, the people I'm referring to aren't my kids! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) If you *had* to be around a really aggravating person a lot of the time, how would you keep yourself from being super-frustrated with them?
 

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I was going to write this post myself. Only here's the thing. Mine might be a little more complicated, or maybe I'm just not as nice as you- because I have to go into some detail.<br>
One of them is my husband's employee. He is one of the most annoying people I have ever met. His mom did a lot of drugs while pregnant with him and he's not quite normal. God...here's the thing, he's really beaten down and he's a nice guy, but at the same time he's super bossy and arrogant. I don't know how those things exsist at the same time, but he pulls it off.<br>
Anyway, because he's not all there, I've tried to be nice, but he's ticking me off left and right.<br>
So, long story short, I've been holding my breath and dealing. Trying to figure out how to stay sane around him.<br>
Then out of the blue he was in my office tickling my five year old and she asked him to stop-and told him it made her uncomfortable. He didn't seem to get it- and I lost it. I yelled something to the effect of him getting his UV violation hands off my dd and I mean for f'in ever.<br>
So.....yea....I need advice too lol.<br>
I didn't expect to blow up like that. I guess it had just been brewing.<br>
Wait....did I highjack...or help?
 

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I guess we are just not very good people.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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Well, the thing with your daughter, Jill, that was totally called for. So.<br><br>
OP, I wish I knew. I usually end up saying something stupid or smartass and sounding snooty, but it's the best I can do. Ummm... change jobs? (assuming htey are at your work here)
 

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Are you your best self when around these people? Are you rested, fed, relaxed, nonhurried? (I know that is hard on a daily basis!)<br><br>
Sometimes, annoying is in degrees, like a neighbor who likes to talk a lot, till you get a neighbor who likes to destroy things. Is there a "Degree" here you can appreciate?<br><br>
If not, I would find a way to remove myself from the situation, no matter what. Because life is too dang short and stressful as it is!!<br><br>
To the MAMA who told the guy to back off - GOOD FOR YOU! You showed your child a positive strong lesson today!
 

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I'll second that being annoyed can come from within. I also work with a group of people some of whom are so annoying! They are pretty decent, nice people but they just aren't my kind. But I notice that while sometimes I can laugh at the situation, if I am at all hormonal, I just can't STAND them! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I can tell b/c EVERY SINGLE WORD they say just makes me want to ROOOLL my eyes or scream. So I've been doing a lot of deep breathing, blowing the air out. I don't care if they realize that it's because I'm annoyed. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
But I also wanted to pass along some advice a friend once gave me. We used to work with a woman who was not just annoying but also a plain old jerk who did not know how to control herself or treat other people. It was like working with a big giant, bratty 4-year-old. Anyway, my friend said you must pretend that this person is "the wacky neighbor" in the sitcom of your life. And when you see them, you must imagine wacky music in the background (I like the "what's happening" soundtrack). And when they say something ridiculous, hear the "wha-whaa" sound effect. Now, I usually forget to do this in the heat of the moment, but it definitely helps give me perspective and make me laugh later. It helps not to store up a big cache of growing hatred of the person (which I used to do).
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SeaBean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7905097"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But I also wanted to pass along some advice a friend once gave me. We used to work with a woman who was not just annoying but also a plain old jerk who did not know how to control herself or treat other people. It was like working with a big giant, bratty 4-year-old. Anyway, my friend said you must pretend that this person is "the wacky neighbor" in the sitcom of your life. And when you see them, you must imagine wacky music in the background (I like the "what's happening" soundtrack). And when they say something ridiculous, hear the "wha-whaa" sound effect.</div>
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I looooooooooooove this!<br>
I'm not saying I can pull it off, but I love the idea.<br><br>
8)
 

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I guess there is something for us to learn about ourselves if someone really pushes our buttons. But if you've tried and tried and still find yourself saying "aaarrrggghhh" under your breath then I have to agree with pp that you should try to remove yourself from the situation. Life is too short and you're expending precious energy on these frustrations.<br>
GOODLUCK!
 

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another idea-<br>
you could start viewing these people with eyes of compassion. they are just being human and they have just as much a right to their own "annoying" behaviours as you do yours.<br>
possibly look at yourself and see what you have to learn from these people. what feelings do they bring up for you? they obviously trigger pretty big feelings for you. i find it best to look within myself to find these answers. i feel other people (and our perceptions of people) mirror how we feel about ourselves. (ie: if you are annoyed by someone who is off-the-wall and requires LOTS of attention... perhaps you have your own buried, unresolved abandonment issues, feeling ignored, unloved, etc.)<br>
when we can see these people as powerful teachers for us to learn how to be brighter human beings, we can grow and live in gratitude for their existence.<br>
also- when we view them differently and treat them differently because of it, their behaviours tend to change, and align with how we see them. it's quite cool.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ccorrell</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7925426"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">another idea-<br>
you could start viewing these people with eyes of compassion. they are just being human and they have just as much a right to their own "annoying" behaviours as you do yours.</div>
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this is, of course, the best idea. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> And def <b>ccorrell</b> is right about the annoying things being something we recognize in ourselves.<br>
Recently I was telling my husband about a guy at work that bugs me so much. "He is always chiming in with this fact or that one and he thinks he knows everything about everything! He was telling everyone this actor was in this movie, when duh, I know it is *that* actor!" Uh, yeah, as the words were coming out of my mouth I realized I am very much the same way. I probably totally annoy people because I can't help but point out (in a tooootally charming way), "actually many people think that painting is Van Gogh, but it's really Munch" or something. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> so, guilty
 

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I do a mix of HappyAgain and ccorrell's advice: make sure I'm not already stressed about something before I'm around them and examine exactly WHY this person is getting on my nerves.
 

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Do you think that you are annoyed or irritated? I ask because I found out that my "irritated" is really repressed anger. When I repress it in my daily life, I've figure out that it comes out as irritation. When I get irritated, I ask myself what I'm angry about, and when appropriate, I talk about it. If I can't talk about it, I have a dialogue in my head about it, listening carefully to myself and empathizing with myself. It may be a little nutty, but it works! I had no idea how angry I really was...about all sorts of things! I thought I was just irritable.<br><br>
If you find yourself especially irritated at this person/people, there is a chance that they are truly deserving of your anger, but there is also a chance that they are getting the brunt of your anger that needs to be directed elsewhere. By being aware of that you might dispell some of the difficult feelings.<br><br>
That's my 2 cents.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
Edited to add: I also took a class on Boundaries. That might help here.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SeaBean</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7905097"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But I also wanted to pass along some advice a friend once gave me. We used to work with a woman who was not just annoying but also a plain old jerk who did not know how to control herself or treat other people. It was like working with a big giant, bratty 4-year-old. Anyway, my friend said you must pretend that this person is "the wacky neighbor" in the sitcom of your life. And when you see them, you must imagine wacky music in the background (I like the "what's happening" soundtrack). And when they say something ridiculous, hear the "wha-whaa" sound effect.</div>
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That is such great advice. I am imagining being Jim-like from the Office and just looking into the camera everytime they speak.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Some great advice already, but let me see if this helps to explain my annoyance:<br><br>
They are slooooow moving. About everything. Telling stories, working on the computer, teaching me something, everything. I consider myself to be a very efficient, time-saving person, so most of the time I am just a big ball of impatience and anxiety waiting on them to finish whatever they're doing or saying so I can finish my job.
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">so most of the time I am just a big ball of impatience and anxiety</td>
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I am sure you can that place in you that is infinitely patient.<br><br>
I read somewhere:<br><br>
I am never upset by what I think I am.<br><br>
I am always upset over nothing.<br><br>
Tune in, turn on and drop the lot.
 
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