Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
433 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Some background, DS, 7, has always had a rough time in group settings, he gets overwhelmed, frusterated, cries, gets stomach pains, headaches, etc.<br>
He complains everyday that everyone hates him, says he just wants to be alone, says he has no friends and so on.<br>
He has a very hard time grasping letter and number recognition, remembering letters and words he's just learned, so reading and math are a nightmare for him. He was in an intense daily reading session, and although he did make some progress it's nowhere near where he should be.<br>
On the other hand though, he's incredredibly bright when it comes to remembering facts that he has been told, or read to by us, or watched on tele. particularily non fiction. His teachers have told us repeatedly that they know that they can bring up the most abstract subject and everytime DS will start spouting information about it. His teacher had him explain the solar system to the class, which he did, then came home and built a scale model of it to hang in the classroom.<br>
And he's so imaginative, when he has to write sentences for spelling words, he'll create a huge story intead (I write it down and he copies it) with all the spelling words in it.<br>
He's a great little artist (enjoys painting and sculpting), loves fishing and tae kwon do, and is an excellent sailor.<br>
He's a smart kid.<br>
But.....he was just diagnosed with a learning disability by the school pschologists. This came as a shock to us as well as his teachers.<br>
They're now talking of adapting his learning program to suit his needs for 2nd grade.<br>
I'm really unsettled about this.<br>
I do not want him lableled, or set apart from the other students.<br>
I'm also not sure if I even want him in the system next year.<br><br>
Before he was born we had made a plan to homeschool him/her. We lived on our boat and traveled extensively. So that's how he grew up, until he was 5. During that time our twins came along and by the time school age popped up I was thinking I'd be nuts not to send these kids off to school ( if anything for the break for me!)<br>
Now I'm not so sure.<br>
The twins aren't an issue, they're doing great in school and I'd be doing a disservice to them if I pulled them.<br>
However, it's at the point now that DS is sobbing every morning before school, he's become very moody, very down, spends a lot of time alone, has increasing headaches and stomachaches. He seems depressed/stressed.<br>
I must add though, his teachers are amazing, they are doing everything they can to help him cope with his emotions, we're in contact almost daily, one of them gives up her lunchhour almost everyday to do extra math work with him. They've just been incredibly supportive.<br>
I have, lately been keeping him home the odd day, I set it up like a school day, although I have a home daycare so it's sometimes a challenge to get the right balance. He usually ends up at our kichen bar, away from the little ones but still within my range of vision. We mainly focus on the reading and math and he'll follow me around spelling words that I shout out to him or counting/adding/subtracting sums that I invent (ie;there are five babies standing in the kitchen, one falls down on his bum, two roll under the table, how many are left standing?) He comes along with us to the playground and brings a book that we both read. At lunchtime he eats from his lunchbag. In the afternoon he rides his scooter for a while, then he chooses geography or science topics to explore while the babies are napping. He ends his day with a documentary of some sort on the mini DVD player in his bed tent (a huge deal in this house) And the thing is, he seems to be 'getting' it. He's relaxed, he's smiling, his chatter is positive. And he's starting to really like books!<br>
So I'm really, really leaning towards keeping him home next year. The thing is I'm terrified of 'messing him up' or 'ruining him' , and I don't want to offend his teachers who are working so hard for him.....I know that sounds weird.<br>
Anyway, just my rambling thoughts.......<br>
anyone else here been through this or similar?<br>
Thanks : )
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,168 Posts
I don't think your going to mess him up ..esp at age 7. He is still in the introducing stage of learning. I would just work on developing his interest and covering the basics. Spend time together reading as much as possible and let him have a choice on what you read.<br><br>
My ds was on IEP for LD's and was in public school preschool through 2nd grade. He had a hard time grasping the letters, numbers, and memory. I felt like I learned a lot from his teachers and therapists in the early years. We moved to a different town, and I didn't feel like his needs were being met in 2nd grade so we homeschooled for 3rd, 4th, and now going into 5th.<br><br>
We did a trial period over the summer that helped us decide to homeschool. I will say that you have to be a bit creative if you have siblings or daycare. I am considering offering childcare as an income now. I don't think it would have worked for us the first year because ds was not a self starter and needed a lot of constant direction. I think his initiative has grown because he has the chance to learn at his own pace.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,134 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>childsplay</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15423126"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Some background, DS, 7, has always had a rough time in group settings, he <b>gets overwhelmed, frusterated, cries, gets stomach pains, headaches, etc.</b><br>
He complains everyday that everyone hates him, says he just wants to be alone, says he has no friends and so on.<br><b>He has a very hard time grasping letter and number recognition, remembering letters and words he's just learned, so reading and math are a nightmare for him.</b> He was in an intense daily reading session, and although he did make some progress it's nowhere near where he should be.<br><b>On the other hand though, he's incredredibly bright when it comes to remembering facts that he has been told, or read to by us, or watched on tele. particularily non fiction.</b> His teachers have told us repeatedly that they know that they can bring up the most abstract subject and everytime DS will start spouting information about it. His teacher had him explain the solar system to the class, which he did, then came home and built a scale model of it to hang in the classroom.<br>
And <b>he's so imaginative,</b> when he has to write sentences for spelling words, he'll create a huge story intead (I write it down and he copies it) with all the spelling words in it.<br><b>He's a great little artist</b> (enjoys painting and sculpting), <b>loves fishing</b> and tae kwon do, and is an excellent sailor.<br><b>He's a smart kid</b>.<br>
But.....he was just diagnosed with a learning disability by the school pschologists. This came as a shock to us as well as his teachers.<br>
They're now talking of adapting his learning program to suit his needs for 2nd grade.<br>
I'm really unsettled about this.<br>
I do not want him lableled, or set apart from the other students.<br>
I'm also not sure if I even want him in the system next year.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
All the bolded sections are things I could have written about my 7 yr old dd. I pulled her out of school and all the tummy trouble, headaches, etc disappeared. (I hadn't made the connection myself since she had been having tummy issues since she was 4 (preschool) and I had just had a bunch of tests run last spring through a ped GI guy). Now, our school refused to test her for an LD because she wasn't far enough behind yet. I would expect them to eventually diagnose "specific LD in reading" AKA dyslexia.<br><br>
Even if I am wrong about dyslexia (which I highly doubt) I figured she couldn't hurt from working with her with tools/strategies that work for dyslexics. I am constantly pointing people towards these links because they have been soooo helpful for me:<br><br>
The first is a book with lots of good informations (first 3 chapters). Then, it has its method outlined in the back of the book. I used it until I got my dd to the "advanced code" and then I ordered level B of ABeCeDarian (second link).<br><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FReading-Reflex-Foolproof-Phono-Graphix-Teaching%2Fdp%2F0684853671%2Fref%3Dsr_1_1%3Fie%3DUTF8%26s%3Dbooks%26qid%3D1274299109%26sr%3D8-1" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Reading-Reflex...4299109&sr=8-1</a><br><a href="http://www.abcdrp.com/" target="_blank">http://www.abcdrp.com/</a><br><a href="http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/abecedarian/" target="_blank">http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/abecedarian/</a><br><br>
The dyslexia yahoo group has been a wealth of information.<br><a href="http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/dyslexiasupport2/" target="_blank">http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/dyslexiasupport2/</a><br><br>
Barton is the only OG method for at home parents to use. This gets a lot of positive reviews, but is very expensive to purchase. At the dyslexia yahoo group, in one of the files, a tutor (certified in both Barton and Phono graphix type programs) compares the two methods.<br><a href="http://www.bartonreading.com/" target="_blank">http://www.bartonreading.com/</a><br><br><a href="http://www.dys-add.com/teach.html" target="_blank">http://www.dys-add.com/teach.html</a><br><br>
I think you can't go wrong to pull him out and homeschool. You won't ruin him--most likely he will begin to enjoy learning again.<br><br>
Amy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
162 Posts
Honestly, it sounds like the only way you will ruin him is to continue to send him somewhere that is so stressful for him. People can't learn when they are stressed. They physically can't do it. So sending him to school, where he is stressed, is not going to help him learn no matter how nice his teachers are. And you said you don't want to offend the teachers. How about offending your son, who is SOBBING about going to school? I doubt the teachers will cry about him staying home. If this was my child I'd pull him out tomorrow. Think how amazing it will be to him to know that his mom was on his side to the point she pulled him out of school and taught him herself! You will be his hero, and he can relax and really start to learn!!! Please please please consider taking him out now, the stress and anxiety he is going through are NOT healthy for him!
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,138 Posts
He sounds like a really cool, sensitive, and creative kid!<br><br>
I'd pull him based on what you described. Not because of the LD issue as it sounds like he does need help should he remain in that setting but because of his emotional strife around school. That's heartbreaking.<br><br>
Don't be afraid of "labels" or try to get over that. They are only information. What is, is. When you know what to call it you can get appropriate help for his success! Even if I were homeschooling I would want to know (do/did) what is underlying the struggle.<br><br>
Start with reading up on dyslexia to see if it fits. The best site for that in my opinion is the Barton site. <a href="http://www.dys-add.com/symptoms.html" target="_blank">http://www.dys-add.com/symptoms.html</a> She'll also talk directly to you about your child and whether dyslexia fits for free. She exchanged emals with me and was very helpful. You want this information because, if it is dyslexia, that will help you select programs that will help him in those areas. Rightstart math for example has been very good for my son. Barton is a gold standard dyslexia program (people sell used programs--it has a very high resell rate--to get the next level) but it's expensive. There are books--for example Recipe for Reading or Sensational Strategies--that will tell you how to make your own dyslexia program. An Orton-Gillingham reading programs (all the above are) will help him, dyslexia or not, given he's got reading struggles. The Well Trained Mind homeschooling forum has been a great help to me in understanding our options and dyslexia.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,562 Posts
Have you had his eyes checked by a developmental optometrist? It just sounds like the issues aren't about how he is thinking about stuff but perhaps with how he is or is not able to see stuff on a page.<br><br>
I'm not homeschooling yet (DD is 4), but I empathize with your emotional turmoil about school or not. It sounds like homeschooling could be a really good fit for your DS and you, and if it doesn't work you can always go back to the brick and mortar school.<br><br>
Tjej
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
Stress causes the toxic hormone, cortisol, to become elevated in the system of children and adults. This hormone causes decreased ability to reason, and to learn. It can also cause behavioral problems, because children are less able to handle this situation than adults are.<br><br>
It sounds like something at school is triggering this in your child. It sounds like homeschooling might reduce the stress for him, and give him a chance to learn and develop.<br><br>
If you would like to learn more about This hormone, and how to use diet to help him try <a href="http://www.read-phonics.com/ebooks.html" target="_blank">this link.</a> It is the first e-book at the top of the page.<br><br>
Also here is an article that I also think will be very helpful.<br><a href="http://hubpages.com/hub/educatingchildren" target="_blank">Understanding Different Personality Types</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,439 Posts
Well, whether you homeschool him or not is <i>somewhat</i> beside the point. The important thing is that what is happening now is not working for him at all, so something has to change. If he was just struggling academically, but enjoying school and getting support for his learning problems, it might be that staying in school would be the right choice for him (or not - but it under those circumstances, it <i>could</i> be the right choice). It sounds like what he's going through at school is damaging to him emotionally and probably, eventually, damaging to his love of learning. So, something has to change. It might be that something in the approach of the school needs to change, or how they handle social issues between children, or how they are working with him based on his learning disabilities. Or another school, if one is available, could be a better fit. Or keeping him home could be the answer to his problems (it was for us when my son was having similar school issues, minus the learning disability). I would say that before you pull him, you might want to look into whether the school district will still need to provide services for him if you bring him home. If he does have dyslexia or some other learning disability, you want to be sure that he gets as much support for that as possible, whether he's learning in school or at home. If they won't cover services for homeschooled students, you will want to decide if you can provide those services on your own.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top