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Pulling back AT ALL is retraction.

No pulling back, no touching the penis, nothing is neccissary, not even to take a peek. a Dr shouldn't be doing that

It's the same as your Dr putting his finger in your DD's vagina just a "little bit" to see if she's "loosening up"

Sick and disturbing
 

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OK, I wish I wasn't such an ignoramus, but I've read all the stuff and it's so hard to get when you've never seen an intact penis except for this little one on your baby. So here are my questions, ramblings.

When ds pees, it pulls back a bit, does that mean he is retracting already? Or is that just normal. His skin hangs over the edge at least a millimeter or 2, is that normal and that's why it has to pull back.

If it pulls back on it's own, then why is it bad to pull it back without force.

Please be gentle with me, I'm really trying to figure this out, but I'm super visual and I'm having a hard time seeing it since I've never seen it before. My dr. isn't being aggressive with me, but she seems to not "get" it. She hasn't tried to retract him, because I tell her no, but she says it's ok. I don't believe her, but I don't think she is trying to trick me, I think she just doesn't know.
 

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My son was forcibly retracted in the ER when they wanted to check for a UTI and had to insert a cathader (sp?) I did not know then that it was such a horrible thing to do before they did it..... but I will tell you what I witnessed. My son screaming and crying and a red/inflamed penis. It was awful. I will never let anyone do that to him again. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it.
 

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simple answers here.

It is your son's penis, he is the only one who should retract it.

Even to wash under it.

Just like this sentance that is very similar

It is your daughters vagina, she is the only one who should spread the lips.

Even to wash between them.

In both cases you would wash the outside and clean the crevaces but you wouldnt open up the vagina to clean the inside just as you shouldn't pull back the foreskin to clean the inside.

So, basically, the only one that should ever retract it is your son, and anyone he asks to do it for him or ok's it.

Pulling it back even a little bit 'can' cause micro tears in the skin and lead to inflammation or infection. The AAP says to wash it like a finger, which means no pulling back the skin to 'just see how far it will go' or 'to clean it just a little bit better'

The simple rule is his penis, his toy. He gets to choose how to play with it
 

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First of all good on you for coming and asking questions.
It is always nice to see someone who really cares.

Quote:
When ds pees, it pulls back a bit, does that mean he is retracting already? Or is that just normal. His skin hangs over the edge at least a millimeter or 2, is that normal and that's why it has to pull back.
What is causing it to pull back on its own is the sphincter at the end loosing up to allow the urine to come out. So technicaly he isnt really retracting. Retracting is generally used in reference to someone (hopefully the penis owner) pulling back on the foreskin any. And yes it is normal.


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If it pulls back on it's own, then why is it bad to pull it back without force.
The main difference here is that when it does it on its own there is absolutely no danger of it being damaged. When someone else does it there is a very real danger of causing micro tears that let in bacteria. There is NO way that you can guarantee that you or anyone else wont pull it back to much. So it is way better to be safe than sorry in this situation.
 

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If you've never seen an intact adult penis, it is a little confusing. Right now the foreskin is pulled up tight around the glans to protect it. I don't understand the details entirely myself, but the tight bit on the end loosens on its own as he gets older. When it's done retracting it will be a loose "coat" or "turtleneck" that hangs down in mostly the same place it does now, but slides back and forth freely exposing the glans.
I really does just take care of itself and you're right not to let your dr mess with it.
 

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Not to highjack the thread, but since we are asking questions
...

How will I know when my son's foreskin is retractable? My youngest son is 3 years old, and intact. He did pull it back once by accident (I think he was barely 2yo at the time), but he hasn't done that since then. He didn't look like it hurt, and I didn't witness any redness or irritation afterward...he just seemed very surprised
Is this normal? My oldest two boys are, sadly, not intact, neither is dh...so I'm just not sure.

Thanks.
 

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Quote:
How will I know when my son's foreskin is retractable?
He'll likely let you know himself, I wouldn't be too concerned.
 

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Ligmom
From what I have read here most of the time when they learn it is retractable they will usually announce it with much glee
If he dosnt become retractable before he is in his teens they will usually let you know (at least most will) If you will give him information as he grows, like mention to him when he baths that if he is able he can retract to rince under there.

Being retractable isnt that big a deal anyway until he is old enough to start worrying about sex and masturbation. Unless it is causing him discomfort or something it is basically a non issue.

It is very normal in the process of natural retraction for it to retract then not do so for awhile. He may be doing it when you arnt aware that he is as well. Or he just isnt into pulling it back right now. There is a article about this happening but I dont have it bookmarked. Maybe someone else does?
 

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Thanks for this thread. I must admit I am guilty of "checking to see," not realizing that was wrong.
 

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My favourite link! It is from Fathering magazine;

http://www.fathermag.com/health/boy-care/boy-care.shtml

Little sniplet from the article;

"...The foreskin can be retracted when its inside surface separates from the glans and the opening widens. This usually happens by age 18. Even if the glans and foreskin separate naturally in infancy, the foreskin still may not be retractable because the opening in an infant's foreskin may be just large enough for the passage of urine.

The first person to retract a child's foreskin should be the child himself. Once a boy discovers that his foreskin is retractable (a wondrous discovery for an intact child), he can easily learn to care for himself...."

You have to be ready to protect your intact son from ignorant doctors who demand forceful retraction or suggest circumcision - please read the sticky on top "A Warning For Parents of Intact Sons ".

http://www.circumstitions.com/Works.html

Everything you ever wanted to know about foreskin and retraction;

http://www.foreskin.org/
 
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