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Ds just turned a year old, menses has not yet returned - nor has my sex drive since before giving birth...

When did your drive return - when menses resumed? - when you stopped lactating? - ever
?
 

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My drive came back at the exact same time when my period did. It was right around a year. I have an almost 4 month old now, and zero drive at all. With my first child, my cycle coming back was like the magic switch that turned it back on. Hopefully it will be the same this time.
 

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My drive kicked in full-force about a week or two ago when DS was 8mos, no AF yet though.....I hope that doesn't mean anything
 

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My ds is 16 mo old and my sex drive comes and goes. Part of it is that he sleeps with us and I know, I know..."sex in bed is boring"...at least that was the response I got in this forum once when venting about wanting my sex life and body back, but tell me, where should I have sex? In the kitchen while ds is strapped into the highchair? In living room while he plays with blocks?

The fact is that we chose to co sleep and breast feed because it's whats best for my son, but our sex drive does suffer because of both of those things. A couple nights ago my husband and woke up in the middle of the night already "half way there" if you know what I mean, middle of the night sex is my favorite type of sex and it hasn't happened since ds was born, then guess what happened...oh yeah ds wakes up screaming to nurse. So the sex stops and now I feel like "what's the point?" I try not to resent ds but sometimes I feel a little selfish.

I'd like to bring the hot sex back into my life but I just don't see it happenng anytime soon.
 

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Sex drive?
:


Our fourth is ten months now. I would rather do dishes or laundry or just sleep, thank you very much! With all the kids, the wish to DTD came back after a year or a little more. Never earlier, in my case. poor DH.
 

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ds is 2 1/2, dd is 7 weeks. my drive never returned after ds, even after AF returned. i was still bf around the clock though. i am HOPING when dd weans, that my drive will return. i really dont enjoy sex at all.
 

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Cycle came back around 12 months and there is NO sex drive. I am totally "all touched out." Just want to sleep and do mommy stuff once baby is satisfied.
 

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With DD cycle never came back (got prego before it did!), so neither did the drive. (poor DH!) With DS, cycle and drive both came back at about 10-11 months, right after we stopped bf'ing.
 

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i know I'm totally weird but I felt so close to my hubby in the hospital after giving birth I remember thinking that it couldn't happen soon enough. recovery put a damper on things for a while but I was definately back into the swing of things at two months PP. I havent' have my period yet and Clare is almost 4 months...I kinda miss it. You know, keeps you regular and everything and I always felt like I had such a kinship with the moon when i was menstrating.
 

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sex?? geez.. I'm actually suprised I even got pregnant! I guess my situation is a little different than most as I only have sex (before babe and after babe) only ONCE every three months! I've actually been looking for a replacement... It has nothing to do with babe... I'm definately very sexual.. he just isn't... He is a good dad though, and I couldn't ask for more... but, yeah, looking for the good lovin' somewhere (even if it is alone....)

ETA: I started my period 3 months after my guy was born, and, for the most part, I think your period returns because it feels as though it needs to start producing babies again.. even if it's not something you want! I've learned that, mostly anyway, whenever you feel horny, you're most likely ovulating!
 

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I had very little sex drive until recently. The last couple of months I have had more interest (although my sex drive is nowhere near what it was in my 20's anyway. I think I used up all my lifetime allotment of horniness between 15 and 31!) and this corresponded with a gradual feeling of shifting closer to fertility over one month but nothing definite, then a huge amount of fertile cervical fluid and ovulation followed by AF, about three weeks ago.

Of course it doesn't matter much because even when I'm interested, it's usually so freakin' late by the time that I get DD to sleep (like 1-2 am!) that DH has already gone to sleep and I'm afraid to wake him up because he has to get up early to work.
 

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With my first, I really had very little sex drive (like maybe I'd want to DTD once a month) up until he was about a year old. I did still try to work up the "mood" though because DH was/is very amorous...
. I got my first PP AF when DS was about 7 months old.

My second is 2 months old and I think I have more sex drive this time around. And I just got PP AF back a couple days ago. I know, crazy....

As far as what to do to get back "in the mood" I always find that a nice warm bath, followed by DH giving me a backrub almost always does the trick. Try reading something sensual, too, if you like that kind of thing.

Oh, and also know that it's perfectly normal to have little to no sex drive while lactating. The hormones that are produced during lactation are totally counterproductive to sex drive!
 
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