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My dd is five. I'd like to start teaching her about sex and babies. She knows some of it. She knows the proper names of body parts, etc., I'm really looking for a good book to help me with this topic. Either a book that coaches the parents on what to say, or a book I can share with my daughter. Any suggestions would be most welcomed.
 

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I am of the opinion that there really isn't a point to actively bring up sex with a 5 year old. My dd is 4 and while she has not inquired about sex specifically, she has of course asked where babies come from and why we have a penis or a yoni (that's what we call it) but not both etc. I remember at a very young age mentioning to her in passing that babies grow in their mommy's bellies. She was too young to inquire further, but as she got older there were more questions... like "Did I grow in <i>your</i> tummy?" and for the most part they were very innocent and easy to answer. She has not yet asked the ultimate "How do they <i>get</i> there" question, although she has prompted some talk of "parts of mommy and parts of daddy go together and grow into a baby..." And she understands that babies are then born through the yoni.... etc. I remember one question being "Can <i>I</i> have a baby now?" and when the answer was no: "Why can't I?" and I responded "Because your yoni is too small for a baby to fit through" and that was the truth and she felt satisfied with this answer.<br><br>
Actually I am suprised there haven't been more questions because she is rather bright, but I'm really not complaining because <span style="text-decoration:underline;">I think that if she is content with the info I have provided so far then why overload her with any more</span>? I say, let DD develop her own curiosity for the subject and meanwhile do some research to ease your mind. Then when the time comes use your instincts to judge what info you've acquired is appropriate for her, since all children are different. My ultimate advice: Be honest. I think people do their children a disservice to fabricate stories about storks and the like. They are implying to their children from the very beginning that sex is taboo and shameful, when it most certainly is not, and that they themselves are not comfortable enough to talk about it. Explicit sex is naturally part of growing up and needs to be appreciated as early as possible, but with age and maturity levels taken into consideration. Good luck, let me know what you decide! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Kate--has your dd been asking for more details?<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SunRayeMomi</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">She has not yet asked the ultimate "How do they <i>get</i> there" question,</div>
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My dd is 4.5, and pushed for ALL the info last week <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"> . I am newly pregnant, so that was a major reason for her sudden curiosity. So, she pretty much has the facts now, lol!<br><br>
But I, too, would love a good book for her at this point. I'll be watching this thread.....
 

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I agree with following a child's lead when it comes to deciding how much information to give. Unless your DD is actually asking questions, why bring it up?<br><br>
My DD is almost 7 and knows all her facts, but we started with the biology and none of the mechanics. The book we used at that time was called "Where Do Babies Come From?" and was by DK Publishing. It explained how the males have sperm and the females have eggs, and that one of each join to grow into a baby duck or cat or person inside the mother. It did not tell how the egg and sperm meet, and my daughter was satisfied with that.<br><br>
When she started really wanting to know the rest I bought "It's So Amazing!" Great book, but I also did some picking and choosing, because it also covers topics such as HIV and other things she just does not need to know about right now.
 

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I asked this on another board BC I am pregnant and DD asked when baby would come out of my mouth. :LOL So I figured I should explain it to her.<br><br>
I got a few books that helped her understand it, and helped me explain it in not too grown up terms.<br><br>
So that's how I was born by dr. Robert Brooks<br>
Amazing You - getting smart about your private parts<br>
Girl you're amazing!<br>
baby on the way - Sears children's library<br><br>
HTH!
 

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my 4.5yo DD learned all about procreation and reproduction, must be two years ago now, when she started asking questions. I tackle it from a nature point of view, she is really into animals, wildlife, nature shows, the zoo, the aquarium. She saw two turtles hooked together just a couple days ago. "what are they doing, Mommy?" I replied, "They are making baby turtles." And she was completely okay with that very short explanation.<br>
She's probably the only kid I know who knows what an ovipositor is. I make no big deal out of it, so she doesn't think it's any big deal either. I simply answer her questions as honestly as I feel comfortable doing, if she isn't satisfied with my simplest explanations, she will continue to ask more questions.
 

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I've just been honest with my 4 1/2 yo. We also got the book <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Amazing You</span> & I think its really informative & approrpriate for preschoolers.<br><br>
L
 

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DS1 started really asking questions when he was about five or six. I answered all of his questions, and he still had more. He's very visual, so I eventually got out my encyclopedia and showed him the diagrams of male and female reproductive systems. So, he seemed to understand it and that was great.<br><br>
Of course, he did get a funny look of concentration/concern on his face. After a couple of minutes, he turned to me and said "you're my mommy and daddy's my daddy. Does that mean daddy put his penis inside you?". That was one of the few moments I was actually proud of my parenting - I didn't even blush (much). I just said, "yes, that's right". Over the next little while, I explained that people are often embarrassed to talk about that in public, but it's okay to talk about it with your family.
 

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There's a good book that I found a while back. It talks a lot about a lot of things. I can't find the name, though b/c it's on my wish list at Amazon and that's down right now. I will TRY to remember to get you the name in a bit.
 

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I think it's a great idea to talk to kids about sex when they are preschoolers - even if they don't ask. When they hear it this young, it's no big deal - it's just another interesting set of facts, like learning about dinosaurs or cement mixers. When they are older, it's a big embarassing deal for parents and kids alike. (My cousin waited until her son asked - but he never did ask! - so when he was 11 she tried to have "the talk" - and he refused!)<br><br>
A great book for parents is <span style="text-decoration:underline;">More Speaking of Sex</span> by Meg Hickling.<br><br>
We have a great book for kids too - I picked it up at a thrift store - not sure if it's still available or not. I think it's called <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Where do babies come from?</span> but I can't double check because it's on loan to a friend. (She left the talk until after her child asked. He's 4, and hearing the facts was a big deal to him!!! She's planning to tell her younger son much sooner).
 

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I have found the siecus.org website to be helpful--since you've got some books for kids recommended, this one is advice and info for parents. They talk specifically about preschoolers, and how to respond to questions and offer info without overloading them.<br><br>
At 4, DS has asked pretty much every question I can think of about the baby-making aspect of sexuality. He is very interested in EXACTLY how things work. I try to see what it is he really wants to know, and explain it very simply but accurately. But I bet he doesn't actually get it yet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Thank you for the book suggestions. I'll look for them at our library. I think it's a good thing to talk about because I don't want her learning about sex from someone else. When she was three and I was pregnant with DD2, she surprised her preschool teachers by announcing my mommy has a baby in her uterus! LOL!! We've already discussed that her body belongs to her, etc. and she's got that down. I want to make it like napless said like cement mixers and dinosaurs. I don't want it to be too mysterious, and I want her to discuss things like this with me or my dh. I'm all for learning about family life (aka sex ed) in school too, but I want a lot of it to come from home.
 

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We have "Where Did I Come From?" We actually have the video but there is a book too. It is very sex-positive. Our stepdaughter asked to watch it several times when she first saw it - I think she was 5.<br><br>
I know that when I was 5, a neighbour girl told me all about the "birds and the bees." So I do think it is better to teach them a bit earlier, before that happens. Not that I was traumatized or anything, but kids can get weird bits of misinformation from each other. I have a male friend who believed that women peed out of their butts until he was in his 20's, because a childhood friend had told him so!
 

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Another thought--more involved, but a great resource if you want ot check it out: the Unitarian Universalist Church and the United Church of Christ have a jointly designed sex-ed curriculum that has age-appropriate sections for 5 years old through adult. It's pretty amazing--I field-tested the UU high school one, when they were being finished a few years back.<br><br>
Churches offer the classes to their kids as part of sunday school; the curriculum is also available, without either denomination's faith-related stuff, to community groups who want to offer it in a non-church setting. What I like is that they teach sexuality in a larger context of values, relationships, and life choices, with respect for all people and with full and accurate info as appropriate for each age. I think they use similar approaches to what SIECUS recommends. If you're interested, you could find info somewhere at UUA.org.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Storm Bride</strong></div>
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, he turned to me and said "you're my mommy and daddy's my daddy. Does that mean daddy put his penis inside you?". That was one of the few moments I was actually proud of my parenting - I didn't even blush (much). I just said, "yes, that's right". Over the next little while, I explained that people are often embarrassed to talk about that in public, but it's okay to talk about it with your family.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><br><br>
well done mama!
 

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How do you guys approach the fact that people have sex when they aren't trying to make a baby?<br><br>
My kids totally understand where babies come from, but they think that people have sex ONLY to make babies, they don't understand sex as part of a relationship.<br><br>
My DH and I lived together for years and our first DD was born before we were married, so saying that marriage = sex isn't going to work for our family.
 

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The book <span style="text-decoration:underline;">It's So Amazing!</span> is a great book to read over with your child. It explains everything (even how it's not always for baby-making!) and has cute cartoon illustrations to explain things too.<br><br>
I agree that you should just follow her lead and questions though, but it's never too early to be prepared!
 

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I think that it is great that you are talking to your daughter about this now, then when she is older, she will be comfortable about coming to you. I wish my mom had been more open, and that I had had her to turn to, luckily, I had two older sisters!<br><br>
I also went through this with my oldest some when I was pregnant. I explained how the baby came out, and about the different parts that women have than men. His question, "Well, I understand what makes you my mommy but what makes daddy my daddy?" I just loved this question, it was so inciteful. So we talked about it, and I told him how daddy had certain ingredients (like making a cake :LOL ) and mommy had certain ingredients, and when they were put together they started to grow a baby. I told him that daddy's ingredients came out of his penis, he didn't ask how they got into mommy, so we didn't cover that point yet. But I think kids are easier to talk to about this, because they haven't learned that sex is "embarrasing" yet.
 

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<span style="text-decoration:underline;">Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They'd Ask)</span> is a great book, AFAIC. It has suggestions for what to say and when, and help for all those sticky questions kids can have.
 

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My ds (7) recently asked me where Babies come from. I told him that he knew the answer-from mommies belly. He responded with "But, how does it get there?" Out came my copy of <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Where Did I Come From</span>. We read it (along with his 5 year old sister who never wants to be left out of a story). After the whole thing he says "The man puts his penis in the vagina? Ewwwww." The next day I was preparing dinner and I hear him reading to his sister. He was reading that book. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">:<br><br>
I am trying very hard to be open and honest with my kids about sex. It is not a subject that was discussed in my house growing up and I think it should have been.
 
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