[Due*In*June]

I have to be honest.<br><br>
For 19 weeks I have known that there was a little girl inside of me. It all started when I had a SURREAL dream of a little girl with long dark hair in a light colored dress wandering through a peaceful stream carefully moving from one stepping stone to another. I was following this little girl in awe, watching her every move in amazement. Behind me was my husband, and I kept motioning him to catch up to us to see this amazing little girl. I woke up from the dream wondering if I was pregnant. A month later I found out that I was, and traced the date back to the night of my dream--the night of conception.<br><br>
Yesterday I found out that I am having a boy.<br><br>
I wasn't disappointed, I was shocked and excited--what a surprise!<br><br>
But today I spoke with my new midwife who said she felt the energy of a little girl. And my best friend had a dream last night that I had a little girl before I told her today that it is a boy.<br><br>
Are we all just wrong? Or is there a chance that they were wrong at the ultrasound? How accurate is a 2-D ultrasound over my abdomen? Yesterday they told me I wouldn't find out the sex until the next appointment, but a nurse happened to be there that can sometimes tell from an ultrasound. She said she was positive that it was a boy.<br><br>
Why do I feel so unattached to this baby now? It is kind of sad, because I don't feel like the "mom" I did yesterday.<br><br>
Any thoughts?<br><br>
Thanks : )

 

[christinespurlock]

I'm having a boy to and to tell you the truth, a little girl was what I thought I was having. I actually found out at 12 weeks and looking at the u/s pictures, I know he's a boy.<br>
Maybe this is a little girl you will one day have? If she got a good view, I'm guessing she's right.

 

[Barcino]

I thought I was having a boy and I am having a girl. Confirmed now clearly by two sonos. They could be wrong for you but there is a very good chance they are right. Especially with boys the sonos tend to be very clear. You will love having a boy. Congrats!

 

[skg_7]

I think gender is a funny thing that we get extremely attached to. Note I'm talking gender, not sex. Sex is simple anatomy and gender is all the stuff we load on top of it to socially construct the notions of boy and girl.<br><br>
Anyway, it could be that the baby inside you has very "gentle" energy, which we generally construct as feminine. Or maybe you and your midwife and your friend have all kind of fed each other's perceptions. But in any case, I know from personal experience that you will adjust over the next few days and weeks and come to feel as strongly attached to the baby inside you as you did before this surprising change. You have to re-formulate a little bit, is all. It's the same babe and your heart will push past your mental constructs to embrace him or her once you get your head around the shift.<br><br>
That's my two cents, anyway.

 

[ChristyM26]

I can understand that feeling because I felt the same way. It's possible that they made a mistake, but IMO boys are pretty tough to make a mistake on, KWIM? It's very odd to have felt so sure about it being a girl and finding out I was completely wrong (so much for mommy intuition!). I'm very attached to Bug though, boy or girl. I think it just takes you a little time to get used to the idea.

 

[spewie]

I've felt like a girl was next pretty much since I found out #3 was a boy. And I REALLY feel it now that I'm pg. I can't refer to the baby as a boy because it feels like a lie.<br><br>
My u/s is in two weeks and I am nervous! I will be sad if it's a boy, NOT because it's a boy, but because that means I have no intuition. I love my boys and will be thrilled with another one, but it will take me a couple days to adjust.

 

[catholicmama]

I just *knew* my first was a girl. I was from a family of all girls, and all I ever wanted was all girls. I called the baby Nora for 5 months. LOL Then I had my u/s and CRIED hard in the parking lot. Oh but when he was born he was so sweet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I loved him to pieces the first time saw him!!<br>
It will be ok. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[Spark]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I think the first thing to remember is that these are YOUR feelings. No one can tell you how to feel. Sometimes we just need to mourn the loss of our dreams/intuition/wishes for a pregnancy before we can fully embrace the reality. Acknowledge the fantasy & then move on.<br><br>
With my second babe, I so wanted a daughter. It was to be our last (<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">) and I just wanted a daughter so badly. When I was just a few weeks pregnant I had a dream that I was face to face with my daughter. And, she was EVERYTHING I ever wanted in a daughter, but she said, "You can't have me. You have to have him to have me," as she introduced me to this little boy. The little boy was great & I KNEW that the girl of my dreams could come through this little boy one way or another.<br><br>
I spent time mourning not having a daughter, but knowing my son would be wonderful & bring me the girl (maybe girlfriend or wife or granddaughter?). I was happy to have the soul that was chosen to be in our family no matter his sex but, first I had to mourn.<br><br>
(Oh, and I'm crashing your DDC from July, but love me anyway. And... if you look in my siggie, you'll see the "boy" my dream told me I was having was actually a girl... here I mourned the loss of that fantasy and when I had little attachment to having a daughter - I found out I WAS having a daughter!)

 

[SillyMommy]

I was sure this one was a boy. I mean, I was right with the other two! But today, we saw girlie parts! I feel you, mama!

 

[Xpcting#3]

Oh, this is hard - we aren't supposed to be disappointed, are we? Or have particular feelings about sex, or gender assumptions...I mean, this is the <i>Mothering</i> board, right?<br><br>
I'm trying to downplay my intuition that this coming child is a girl, because I don't want to be disappointed if this final child turns out to be my third son. I LOVE having boys, and this cool mother-son thing that is so special. And it's #*!* irritating when people say stuff about hoping it's a girl for us this time.<br><br>
Only DH and I get to hope that, and only very, very privately. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Have you considered that the girl in your dream is you? Maybe she's the part of you that's showing you the way to being a mother, connecting your grown-up self to your coming baby...

 

[SillyMommy]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Xpcting#3</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10301392"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh, this is hard - we aren't supposed to be disappointed, are we? Or have particular feelings about sex, or gender assumptions...I mean, this is the <i>Mothering</i> board, right?</div>
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Why the heck not? We're still human.

 

[BirthFree]

(Spark, just love here for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> ).<br><br>
I know how it is to mourn the loss of a gender esp. when you have outside confirmation on what you think it is. In some cases that's why it can be useful to know the gender ahead of time (if you really have your heart set on one gender) - but that's just been my personal experience with that - it gave me time to work it through.<br><br>
I will say that if someone feels feminine energy, it doesn't mean it has to be a girl, it could be a sensitive son - I have two of those and they both have particular strengths someone would generally attribute to a girl. They are not feminine, but they are especially caring/sensitive.<br><br>
Just my thoughts.<br>
I lived through my second 1/2 of our second son's pg doubting the u/s tech. was right and he is certainly a boy. I wouldn't REALLY believe it until he came out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> But yep, he's my sensitive all-boy boy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[klink2]

I think anytime we find our intuition is wrong, it is hard to swallow. I KNEW I would deliver before my due date last time. I was so confident, and I have no idea why. Once that date had come and gone, I was absolutely sick about it (for 10 days). I knew in my brain that the date was approximate, but I had convinced myself.... Anyway, not exactly the same, but I sure know that feeling of being disappointed by my intuition.

 

[franjapany]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> oh dear, this is great!<br><br>
I refuse to believe anythign anymore - except from what my healer tells me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
he told me the exact week when i would get pregnant - five months in acvance. and he was *so* on spot! the odds weren't great, let me tell you. DP and I just had one quicky-dtd during that time, but it happened anyway.<br><br>
he also said it was gonny be a boy. then i met this woman in germany who was dead sure, i was going to have a girl. she said, she'd seen her and she'd never been wrong before.<br><br>
so i started to think: ....twins? then all these signs came up. lots of them. i eventually had an U/S in week 15. now i know it's only one, but I still don't know whether boy or girl. DP keeps talking about 'him', but I try to keep an open mind and keep reminding DP that he should do the same.<br><br>
I always wanted a girl! But now I've gotten used to the idea of a boy too.<br>
we'll see... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">

 

[beanmakes3]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Xpcting#3</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10301392"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Have you considered that the girl in your dream is you? Maybe she's the part of you that's showing you the way to being a mother, connecting your grown-up self to your coming baby...</div>
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This is beautiful...thinking of the dream this way would help me to think of my intuition as a mothering tool, instead of just a method of guessing the sex of my baby.<br><br>
it's totally true, though, that you get to be disappointed if you need to be...sometimes we just need to feel bad about it. I was certain my first was a girl, and we didn't find out. When hubby lifted the blanket to see what we had and announced it was a boy I was in shock. I said, 'Really!" in such an incredulous tone that everyone in the room laughed. I worried for a few days what my reaction meant, but after that it just so didn't matter.<br><br>
And, Xpcting, you are totally right about how annoying it is for people to comment on whether parents w/ "2 of" anything are hoping for 1 of the other. it makes me growl.

 

[Due*In*June]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Xpcting#3</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10301392"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh, this is hard - we aren't supposed to be disappointed, are we? Or have particular feelings about sex, or gender assumptions...I mean, this is the <i>Mothering</i> board, right?<br><br>
I'm trying to downplay my intuition that this coming child is a girl, because I don't want to be disappointed if this final child turns out to be my third son. I LOVE having boys, and this cool mother-son thing that is so special. And it's #*!* irritating when people say stuff about hoping it's a girl for us this time.<br><br>
Only DH and I get to hope that, and only very, very privately. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
Have you considered that the girl in your dream is you? Maybe she's the part of you that's showing you the way to being a mother, connecting your grown-up self to your coming baby...</div>
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</tr></table></div>
<br>
My DH actually suggested the same thing about the little girl really being me. Maybe...

 

[queensgirl]

I felt so guilty for wanting a girl especially after suffering through infertility. I got sick of saying all I want is a healthy baby. That goes without saying, Does anyone not want that? When I found out she was a girl it was the happiest day of my life. Our feeling are about us. We end up all loving our babes boys and girls to pieces no matter what we wanted. Now I don't care what people think.

 

[june08]

In my last pregnancy, which we terminated because the fetus wasn't viable at 12 weeks, I was likely carrying a girl, since 3 out of 4 times when this anomaly occurs, it's a girl. I am 19 weeks now and found out I am having a boy. I also have a 7yo boy. I do find myself feeling the loss of not having a girl every now and then. I think it is important to give ourselves permission to be disappointed and work through the loss of a particular gender *before* the birth if possible. If feelings are repressed or we lay guilt on ourselves about it, the postpartum time could be a real struggle when the other gendered baby is there in the flesh.<br>
It could also add a risk factor for getting postpartum depression and anxiety.<br><br>
I hope by embracing my feelings and not feeling guilty about them I can process them fully. At my last ultrasound he was actually holding his penis! Which I thought was super funny and cute and really endeared him to me. Also thinking of my son being big brother to a brother makes me really happy and he is very excited about it too.<br><br>
All the best,<br>
Chris

 

[Xpcting#3]

I've posted previously that I'd privately been hoping that this would be a girl, since I have two great boys and this will likely be my last baby.<br><br>
We won't even have the possibility of knowing the sex for some time yet, but two days ago, DH and I came upon a wonderful boy's name...I know this sounds funny, but I love this name so much that it's made me feel a ton of excitement about the possibility that this is another boy!<br><br>
Don't get me wrong - I'm still hoping to have the experience of raising a daughter, but having a boy's name in my heart has changed my perspective.<br><br>
Still kicking around ideas for a girl's middle name...