Disclaimer- I love love LOVE my sis and BIL, but they are very mainstream and politically conservative (which may be relevant to my question.) We don't see eye-to-eye on a whole lot, but they are raising 2 AWESOME kids who I
They went to Disney a few weeks ago. When they got back I was talking to my 7 yo nephew on the phone about the trip and the rides, etc. I asked him about the Tower of Terror, and he said he didn't like it b/c of the big drop. In the background my BIL said "You hated it! You screamed like a little girl!" Like, haha. And my nephew repeated to me "Yeah, I screamed like a girl."
He didn;t sound upset or embarrassed or shamed or anything, but this was over the phone and so I can't be sure. It sounded more like a family joke or something. I didn't know what to say, so I just shared the story that my 6'8" husband is scared to this day of Space Mountain and everybody is scared of some stuff sometimes.
I'm still thinking about the "little girl" part of what he said. What should I have said to my nephew? I couldn't really say anything to BIL because we were on the phone, but what if he were to say something similar in person? I know he would roll his eyes at his PC SIL.
Originally Posted by Belia
***Or am I making a big deal out of nothing?
I understand the sentiment behind your thoughts and your post, but I do think you're making a big deal out of nothing. I have many more thoughts on the topic, in general, but in this instance, I think you did the right thing.
I think all you can do is make it clear that you won't let BIL talk to or about your nephew like that in your company and hope you nephew picks up on the fact that it's not globally acceptable to make those comments. Talking about DH being scared of Space Mountain probably helped.
Well, what would bother me more is the idea that boys aren't allowed to be scared (but girls are), so I think your telling about your dh's being scared is a good tactic. That shows that even big, grown men can be scared.
I have 3 girls and wouldn't have been bothered by it really. I think "screamed like a little girl" is more of an expression than a comparison, meaning that high pitched scream they all (girls and boys) do.
I hear all sorts of comments like that directed towards little boys and I think its horrible. From "don't be a little sissy boy" to "stop crying!" etc. etc. Boys' emotions are treated like crap by our culture.
I think you handled it well. It's sexist in two ways - it makes being compared to a girl derogatory, thereby defining "female" as "negative", and it also is one of many ways boys are programmed to not show emotion, which is just sad. But I like the way you handled it.