[vivalamama]

Hi, kinda new here, but have been obsessing about this all night and so needed a place to vent... hope this is the right board.
Anyway, I was at a kids birthday party yesterday and the hostess comes up to "warn me" that some of the people there were kind of "squeamish about nursing", saying "I'd been warned and so I just wanted to let you know". She then said "I don't have a problem with it" (me nursing in her house). Then another woman chimes in about how "some mother" was walking around walmart (ugh) with three kids in tow and *gasp* 'nursing her baby with her boob hanging out' saying "that is just SO inappropriate".
I've never had anyone say anything about me nursing in public, or in their homes, in spite of nursing dd #1 for 3 years and nursing just about every place imaginable. It really took me by surprise too, because the hostess is a nursing mom I've seen at LLL meetings. I honestly think she was trying to be helpful and not mean spirited, but when I went upstairs to hide in a bedroom and nurse, I just wanted to cry. I felt really unwelcome and self-conscious, wondering who was so offended by something I think of as so beautiful. I didn't feel as if I had any rights, because I was in her home, and although she never said- 'don't nurse downstairs, don't nurse in front of so-and-so', I was suddenly really worried about it- like there was a potential big confrontation or something.
Anyway, I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I'm suddenly really concerned about nip... are there legions of people out there disapproving of me everytime I nourish my baby??? Have I been letting MY boob 'hang out'? (not really, I'm quite discreet) I know I'm doing what's best for my sweet baby, but I was really hurt by this experience...
Should I say something to this mom? She is someone I had hoped to get to know better and perhaps become friends with (we're somewhat new in town), and our husbands work together, so it's highly likely I'll see her again often.
your thoughts would be appreciated~

 

[vivalamama]

Really? You think butt crack is gross? I find it refreshing and completely liberating!

I appreciate the viewpoints- yeah, you're probably right that she just wanted to warn me, but most of the guests were her family so I felt I couldn't really say anything, you know? I think I was just completely unprepared for that and thinking, as someone put it, I was in a 'safe place' and didn't need my game face on. I'm very nonconfrontational and sometimes have a hard time standing up for myself.
I think the idea of having some prepared 'lines' to deal with unsupportive comments is a good one- I think I was just caught off guard.
appreciate your support!!!

 

[vivalamama]

Thanks again to all the mamas who wrote in with their support! I'm sorry I didn't write back sooner, but we were traveling and nursing ALL over the place

Looking back on this whole drama, I think the hardest part for me was that what I did was not in harmony with what I believe and what I felt-- that nursing is wonderful and something that I want to advocate and educate people about. I'm happy to say that I did a lot of nursing in front of pregnant and ttc couples while we were traveling, so hopefully I helped plant some seeds.
I've decided to ask this mom who it was that was 'squeamish' about the nursing, how she handled it, and try to act as a support for her- perhaps she was uncomfortable as well, you know? As I think we all agreed, I don't think her intent was harmful.
And yes, I'm in Alaska, but new here, so still need some time to work up to the typical Alaskan independence- but I do look forward to using the phrase "rat's patootie" at some point soon :LOL
I am thankful to each of you~