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I love reading the threads on this board, and I feel like I learn something everytime I come here. I thought it would be neat if everyone could share a specific GD technique or "trick" that has helped with a parenting issue or situation. Could be something you learned here, something from a book, etc. I'm really looking forward to learning some great techniques that I can file away for the future!<br><br>
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For us, replacing the words "don't touch" with "one finger touching" has made a huge difference. I noticed last year sometime, that if I used my brain and tried to think of what Bella could do, as opposed to what she couldn't do - that we had much more success. (For instance, saying "feet on the floor" gets quick results, while "do not climb on the table" gets none) This little trick first became useful last Chirstimas, when Bella was entranced with the Christmas tree ornaments and was pulling things off the tree.<br><br>
For days we were frustrated because no matter how many times we said no, or redirected her, she just went right back and pulled off another ornament. Then we decided to show her how to touch with one finger. Everytime she went for the tree we repeated "one finger" over and over, while showing her how to touch with her index finger only. Much to our amazement - within a few trys, she not only got it, but she was overjoyed to be able to explore the tree the way she wanted to from the beginning.<br><br>
This works so well in stores - before we enter I store I always remind her that here she can only touch with one finger, and tell her that if she grabs things she will have to come up in my arms or sit in her stroller or cart. It is amazing how well she understands, and when she gets excited just a simple reminder of "one finger" usually does it. This also helps so much with breakable or decorative things that just beg for tactile exploration - "one finger gives her the freedom to touch as much as she wants, and relives my worry that things will get broken! Most of all, I enjoy the fact that i don't have to run around screming "Don't touch, don't touch" over and over again like a broken record!<br><br>
Can't wait to hear from everyone,<br>
Jeanette
 

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Here's a thread from a month ago <a href="http://mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?s=&threadid=78205&highlight=favorite" target="_blank">favorite tips</a>
 

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As you've discovered, telling them what they can do rather than can't makes an enormous difference.<br><br>
I would add that following through, and swiftly is absolutely a necessity. This not only solidifies to the child that you mean what you say, but also forces you to throughly think about what YOU say before you say it (rather than just tossing about meaningless threats).<br><br>
ie... if my son is hammering the wall instead of his nail board... i first remind him that the hammer is for banging nails, not the wall. If he persists, I tell him that if he does not want to use the hammer propperly, it is closed to him (Montessori language). The next time he hammers something inappropriate, we put the hammer and the nail board away. End of story. If he's mad he usually gets over it pretty quickly. In this particular scnario, I relized that he wanted to hammer the walls after he watched me hang some pictures... a new way to use the hammer! So I explained to him why I was hammering the wall and let him do it the next time I needing to hang something.
 

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for young children, modeling the consequence of an action. For instance, I have modeled to my DD that touching a light socket hurts. i touch it with my own finger and *pretend* to get hurt. I say "Ouch! Hurts mommy! hurts baby too. No touching sockets."<br><br>
Now, when we are out and she even spots an uncovered socket, she points it out to me and says "ouch" and I say yes, that's right.<br><br>
Same for hot stove. Though this one she wanted to experience herself and I allowed her to touch quickly with one finger. Now when she's in the kitchen she looks at the stove...ot?ot? And I can tell her yes or no. She does understand the difference between hot and cold already.<br><br>
It takes a bit more energy to model, but it's a hecl of a lot easier than saying "no, or don't" all the time.<br><br>
And the biggest of all - choose your battles! Let the small stuff go. I have seen some moms turn every little thing into a battle, when it need not be.
 
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