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I'm not sure if this belongs here or elsewhere, but help would be appreciated!<br>
My dsd and dd are 6 years apart. Now that dd is up and running (she's almost 15 months old), we've been having a lot of problems with sharing. Dsd believes that nearly all of the toys in the house (except for the specific "baby" toys) belong to her, because they were hers alone before dd was born. This is including the art easel, balls, crayons, etc. How can I shift this belief into one where the toys belong to everyone, excepting a couple of special toys? Of course, to complicate this further there are many toys that I do NOT want dd to play with, even if she were old enough (Barbie's, Polly Pockets, etc.), which are currenlty being kept in dsd's room where dd is not allowed to be. Dsd has lately been getting more jealous of dd and is very protective of everything she feels is hers. Dd is too young to protest much, but I certainly don't want her getting older and either mimicking this behavior or getting upset because of it. Of course, I dont' want dsd to feel like we are taking everything from her all at once either.<br>
Ideally, we would have a playroom for the toys that are for sharing, but we just don't have the room.<br>
We have been workign on this for a while, and dsd is getting so much better at playing with dd (ring around the rosie is a favorite), but I'd really like to move forward to help develop their relationship more positively.<br>
Thanks!
 

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We have a very similar age difference between DSD and our DD. What I did was go through the toys with DSD and decide which ones are toys that are appropriate for both of them to use and which ones should not be. That way, she felt like she had some control in it even if I was pushing for what I thought it should be. kwim I did make space in our old town home (no play room) that was specifically for shared toys. I think the seperation of these toys from her toys made the biggest difference. So, even if you have to section off an area in your living room for a little while to make the distinction, it would be a good idea.<br><br>
Just remember that it is rough for her to understand that some of these things are going to be for everyone. I would be upset, too, if someone came into my life and someone else was telling me the things I own would now be for both of us. kwim It can be even more difficult for her since she is not in the home all the time. She is not as secure as she could be with her place in the home. So, maybe talk to her about how she is feeling. Sometimes just being heard is enough to have a change in attitude.
 

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Well, our system isn't perfect, but I have a 13 yo dss and a 4 yo ds, so anything that is so special that you don't want anyone to touch goes in your room on a shelf. Anything in the rest of the house is fair game. There are also things that belong to ME like art supplies, bubbles, movies, etc. and those must be shared, too because they don't belong to either of them. Not perfect, but the older child really does have items (Ipod, cell phone, etc) that should not be touched by the younger one. On the other hand, I don't want younger ds to feel like he doesn't have ownership of his things, so even though it seems silly, he has special dinosaurs that his older brother can't touch without permission.
 

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We have a 4-yr age gap between DSD and DS. Their belongings share a room (and their beds will within the next year).<br><br>
We've taught DSD which things are not appropriate for babies (and is actually very concerned with him not having things that he might choke on - she definitely errs on the side of caution), and she helps keep him away from those. If she is playing with something and doesn't want his interference, we encourage her to shut the door of their room (which will be a little more difficult when they officially share) or play with whatever it is on the kitchen table where he can't reach.<br><br>
For the most part, all toys are shared. DSD plays with "his" toys as much as he plays with "hers." They also have some joint toys (playsilks, play kitchen) that seemed to help cement the toy-sharing philosophy. You might consider getting the younger one some toys that would also appeal to the older one, that way the sharing goes both ways. Aside from the kitchen and playsilks, DS's musical intrument toys have been a hit with DSD, as have the blocks and some wooden stacking toys. For the most part, at this point I am unsure whose stuffed animals are whose (I swear those things breed in the closet).<br><br>
Another possibility would be to take the older one out to choose some new toys for the younger one. Kids generally choose toys for other kids that they themselves would want to play with. Then, when she plays with the new toys, remark how nice it is that her sister shares with her. Later, if there is a squabble, you can bring up that since her younger sister shares with her, she should share with her younger sister. We also use the "setting a good example" technique - let her "teach" her little sister how to share.
 
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