Mothering Forum banner

1 - 14 of 14 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,264 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
My oldest is 7. She has very dark leg hair and it's pretty noticeable.<br><br>
I distinctly remember being teased for having leg hair in grade school and still wasn't allowed to shave until the 7th grade. I was pretty upset at my mom for not allowing me. Other girls were allowed to in the 4th or 5th grade. It was very embarrassing for me.<br><br>
So my 7 year old is being teased. I do think she's too young to shave. I'm not thrilled with chemical depilatories. But I remember how it feels to be ridiculed for being hairy and I don't want that for her. I think my mom set an arbitrary age and wanted to keep me a little girl. I don't want to do that. I do have concerns about her being able to remove her own hair properly (the conversation was brought up because I saw her trimming her leg hair with cuticle scissors)<br><br>
I haven't had a chance to talk to my husband about it yet. It's possible to get through this summer vacation w/o shaving (or whatever leg hair removal we decide to let her use)<br><br>
Any suggestions? What age are you comfortable with?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
726 Posts
I was in 7th or 8th grade when my mom mentioned to me that many girls/women do shave their legs. She left it up to me to notice what other people do and decide for myself.<br><br>
I don't ever remember being teased for my hairy legs, but my hair is blonde and therefore largely invisible on my arms/legs.<br><br>
What does your 7-year-old want to do? Would wearing pants / tights be good enough for her, or does she want to shave?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,193 Posts
I think it's sad that girls a being teased in SECOND grade for having hair on their legs. That girls that young are already so focused on appearance in that respect.<br><br>
With my 14 year old, I made my decision based mostly on when I felt she was able to handle a razor. She was also being teased that young, I think it was between 7 and 9, sometime that I taught her how to use the razor?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,556 Posts
Whenever they're getting teased about it and they feel ready to shave is when I think it's time. If she's the one bothered by it and wants to remove the hair, I'm not sure there's a way to really wait through the summer. What about an electric razor or waxing for now?(though I can't image a 7 year old getting their legs waxed) We had electric razors as young kids and even though they kind of sucked, they got the job done enough with no injuries.<br><br>
It's really sad that it's come to this for little girls. But it wasn't that long ago that I was that age and the other girls were MEAN to girls with hairy legs and underarms. Thanks for being such an understanding mom. Hope you guys figure something out together.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,264 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kcstar</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15442483"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What does your 7-year-old want to do? Would wearing pants / tights be good enough for her, or does she want to shave?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
She wants the hair gone. She wears dresses very often. I don't use depilatories so she doesn't know about them, but she wants her hair removed. I asked her to stop cutting it with scissors until I had talked to her father about it.<br><br>
If it's affecting how she looks are herself then I'm willing to allow her to shave (or whatever). I don't think it's worth damaging her self esteem over. I wish kids didn't care so much about what other kids think.<br><br>
I just hate that it's happening so young. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
She's been pretty emotional about stuff lately and I'm wondering if she has some beginning puberty stuff going on. I needed a bra by the 3rd or 4th grade. (although her hair has always been dark and thick on her legs, that's not new)
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,264 Posts
Discussion Starter #6
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Melaya</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15442509"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Thanks for being such an understanding mom. Hope you guys figure something out together.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Thanks for that, I really appreciate it.<br><br>
I do want to balance being too, worldly, for lack of a better word, with being happy with themselves.<br><br>
I think we can get through summer because she won't be around the kids who were teasing her. We'll see though.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
3,264 Posts
Discussion Starter #8
The hair is very dark, noticeable from a distance away. I would not be comfortable bleaching it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,052 Posts
I have dark hair, everywhere...ugh. I remember my boyfriend and best friend teasing me either my 4th grade summer or 5th...I think it was 4th actually. I was mortified. I went home that day and told my mom and I think she let me that day. (I might have come home in tears.) I remember her giving me a throw away razor..and I went at it.<br><br>
I think that if it's bothering her this much, that I would let her. Maybe with an electric razor like someone had mentioned first...maybe it can cut the hair down and not give her stubble. I feel for her...it's not fun at this age, what with bully's and such. My DD just turned 8 and she has pretty long blonde hair that is thicker than normal blonde hair. She sometimes taked things(like pens or something straight edged) and pretends to be shaving...but hasnt asked me yet if she can shave. Well, she did a few times but she just wanted to do it...it wasnt bothering her. She's such a girly girl.<br><br><br>
I hope you both can come to a conclusion. Hugs to you and your DD...I hope it gets better.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,589 Posts
My sister and I were just talking about this the other day. We had very dark hair and were teased very badly and our mom would not let us shave till we were about 13 years old.<br>
It was awful and I swore I would not do that to my daughter if I had one.<br>
Now we both have daughters and although they don't have hair on their legs yet, we decided that it will be their decision as to when they want to shave.<br>
I would like to have a discussion with her about it also as far as body image and peer pressure.<br>
Wow, 7 is so young to be teased for it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
Hope it works out well for you both.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
9,388 Posts
I think I would allow it, if she was really clear that she wanted to do it. I think the benefits of the girl knowing that her mother understands far outweighs the benefits of trying to delay these things. Therefore I'd buy a girl a bra if she wanted one, even if she was still totally not in need of one. So I think I'd allow hair removal, too. Chances are she'll do it a few times, and then forget all about it once the kids teasing her move on to something else. I would make an effort to find a safe way though-- an electric razor sounds like a great choice.<br><br>
The teasing starts so young, and it's such a shame. My KINDERGARTEN DD1 came home the other day telling me that her friend (also in K) had cried on the bus, because some boy told her she had so much hair on her legs she looked like a monkey. DD1 was all confused about her own hair-- was it okay that she had it? Was it a problem? And we had to have a talk about it. (DD's body hair is fine and thin and I think it's beautiful, but now all of a sudden she thinks it's a problem, where three days ago she never even thought about it.) This makes me angry.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,232 Posts
Wow, 7 is young, but my DD is almost 8 and if she asked I would let her. I would either look into getting her an automatic shaver, or help her with a disposable.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,439 Posts
I think my (almost) 7 year old would be able to handle a razor safely at this point, especially if I was supervising. My DD has much darker body hair than my two boys or I - she takes after dh in that respect. She hasn't, as far as I know, been teased about it at this point. We homeschool, so I think that's a buffer for us for awhile. If she gets to the point that she wants to remove her leg hair, I would do what I could to make it happen for her, after having the conversation about how leg hair or lack thereof does not affect someone's beauty. I know my mother started letting my sister wear make up way younger than she had planned because my sister had white eyebrows that really stood out against her ruddy complexion and she got teased about it mercilessly. So she taught her how to use eyebrow pencil.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,118 Posts
I think I was probably 11 or 12. I know I was shaving by the beginning of 7th grade when I was 12 but can't remember when I started. I remember a set of twins I went to school with who were not allowed to shave in 7th and 8th grade, and I remember them getting teased about it.<br><br>
Since she is so young I would think the best hair removal option would be to use an electric razor and maybe you could do it for her once a week or so.<br><br>
I am sad for your daughter that she is already being teased about hair on her legs and becoming uncomfortable with how she looks. You would think at 7 she still had a few years left before she started feeling self conscious.
 
1 - 14 of 14 Posts
Top