[Greaseball]

Did anyone see that Seinfeld where Elaine's boyfriend takes down a message about a friend of hers having a baby, and then she gets all upset with him because he didn't use an exclamation point after writing "She had the baby" - Well, when I e-mailed my sister about my pg she wrote "Wow, congratulations guys" - and that was it, no exclamation!

I'm sure people can relate with some people just not seeming very excited - maybe it's because this is the 2nd for us, or maybe people don't approve of students trying to have children. I also sent an e-mail to my dad and stepmom, and a few weeks later still got no response. I called my dad and he asked what was new, and I asked if he got the e-mail, and all he could say was "Yeah, I got it." ??? Later he said "Well, you only told (stepmom), you never told me." (They don't get along...long story...but I thought they shared the e-mail...) So what does that mean; he's got a petty resentment because he thought I told her and not him, so he's just not going to say anything to me?

Anyway, that's it. Thanks for listening. Can anyone relate?

 

[oceanbaby]

Congratulations!!!!

I can relate to what you are saying. But maybe your sister is just not an exclamation kind of gal? I know that some people, like me, tend to use them fairly liberally, while others are very conservative with them. But I'm guessing that it is more her tone that you are picking up on, which I would be sensitive too as well. And while it is possible that you are correct in interpreting her response as not being excited for you, it's also possible that she just didn't write it well enough to express her true feelings, or that there also may be some jealousy issues that often accompany a pregnancy. We are planning on TTC#2, and I already feel weird about thinking about telling my sister, because she was recently diagnosed with premature ovarian failure, meaning that is is highly unlikely that she will ever be able to conceive a child naturally. While that is a more severe example, maybe there is something in your relationship with your sister that would cause her to feel jealous about you having another baby? I dunno, just a guess.

I do relate to what you are saying. It is hurtful when people that you love don't share your excitement, or approve of your decisions in life.

I'll never forget when my SIL announced to her parents that she and her boyfriend were getting married. Her mom's response was "Are you joking?" She never approved of the boyfriend, and I felt so bad for SIL when MIL said that. I immediately grabbed my wine glass and made a congratulatory toast (even though I already knew).

 

[Viola]

ROFL! This actually reminds me of my sister in a way. My wedding anniversary was 9/14, and my friend was talking to my sister, Emily. My friend said, "Wouldn't it be cool if Amy had Jessie on her anniversary?" Of course, Emily didn't remember it was my anniversary, no big deal, but then she wanted to know who Jessie was, and once he explained she said, "Oh, yeah, Amy's going to be giving birth soon, I forgot." That's my sister!

On Sunday she was gone all day visiting a Renassaince Festival. My mom called her on her cell phone to let her know I had had the baby, but when she saw the call was from my mom, she didn't answer the phone. She forgot to listen to her voicemail later. So she got home Sunday night and checked her e-mail. My sister-in-law started a instant message chat with her, saying that she heard I had the baby. Emily said, "No, I don't think so, someone would have told me." My SIL said, "Your mom posted that Amy had an 11 and a 1/2 pound baby, you mean she didn't?" Emily said, "No, I really don't think so." OK, this was Sunday night and finally it occurred to her to call my mom on Tuesday and ask if I had the baby. You think she might have called before that, or checked her voice mail, but no. She is clueless!

 

[teachma]

I can relate. When I told my sister we were expecting #2, she asked, "Why would you do that?" I wasn't surprised by her reaction, however. It was the very reason I made my mom tell her when I was pregnant the fist time- I said I didn't want any negativity around me on such a happy occasion. Shoulda done the same thing this time, I guess!

 

[its_our_family]

We had no excitement when we announced our engagement from my parents (mainly because no one was surprised...even though we had only been together 5 weeks) My parents also had very little excitement when we told them about ds. Turns out they were just in shock. And while they never expressed to us how excited they were my moms friends emailed me and started talking about how excited she was and she was so happy

: So, I talk to my mom and it turns out she was just plain mad ab out it when we told her. Not because we were pg but bec ause of our situation. We had been married for 5 months and dh was in school for another year. But it all worked out situation wise...for the most part

I'm sorry no one seems excited...it hurts doesn't it and not something that makes you feel better about writing it off as "just being themselves".

I'm excited for you and I only know you as Greasesball!

 

[wildthing]

It really sucks to tell people you are expecting #8....which is why we haven't told anyone yet. Actually, I have told 2 IRL close freinds, but they were really excited and happy for us. Although it seems like people kind of expect us to have a baby every 2 1/2-3 years. No excitement....It's kind of like "We having a baby." "Really? Oh, can you pass the potatoes please?"
I sort of prefer the disinterest to the rude comments...."Great, another kid to buy presents for." Um, yeah, like we are having a baby so you will have to buy our family more presents! :LOL

Hey Greaseball, you know I'm excited for you!!!!!!!!

 

[Greaseball]

Hey, more presents! I wonder if we'll get any? With #1 we got so much stuff, it was unbelievable. We didn't have to buy anything, and there was over $1000 in anonymous cash donations! (Dh worked at a church then.) With this one we still have all our old stuff, so I'm not expecting more than the usual cute outfit and little toy.

My sister is only 20 and is a very typical student...so I don't expect her to be that excited. But some people are just like, "What; two kids nowadays? Good luck!" I can't imagine what it would be like to be expecting #8...!!!

There is another couple, a voice student of dh's and his wife, and they take care of dd a few evenings a month, and they had a m/c after several months of trying and haven't been able to get pg again so it was kind of weird to tell them. Dh told them and they never said anything to me, so I assumed they hadn't been told, but I can understand why they're not excited.

I was hoping it would happen for them before it did for me.

 

[wildthing]

I meant to mention before....dh has an older borther who has been married almost as long as we have. He and his wife tried for 12 years to have a baby, and never did. I was a bit uncomfortable about telling them once or twice, but they were always happy for us. They used to joke about us having their baby for them. Up until about a year ago, they lived around the corner from us, and used to take our kids all the time. But when they decided to quit trying for a baby, they moved to another state. I really miss them....it was dh's only brother, and they were pretty close. His wife was not to upet about never ahving a child, but I know BIL would have been very happy with one...he would have made a great dad.

 

[Jessviola]

congratulations

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i tend to use tons of

s :LOL

 

[Penelope]

Oh, Greaseball, I feel your pain!

I'm a PhD student, and we're having our second, and I'm starting to really look pregnant now (about 16 weeks) and a couple of people have asked if I've told my advisor yet.

I say, "Yes and he was substantially more excited than my mother!"

Really. And my mother adores dd. She's really attached to her. She's just bad at socially appropriate responses.

Other people were moderately more excited. My SIL spent a while telling me how glad she was to be done having babies - the diapers, the nightime nursings, all that. All I could think was, "Thanks!"

The important thing is, you're excited.

 

[elbee]

This is definately a timely thread for me!

I too am gearing up to be dissappointed by my parents reaction to our 2nd preg. With the first one, they pretended to be happy, they were happy I guess, but only 'happy-ish' not over the moon, like some of my friends parents/family.

As it happens, they are now madly in love with their grandson so... it does tend to work out. I think some people just aren't so into the idea, mystery, beauty of pregnancy as I'd like them to be!

It is frustrating though to bear the brunt of your parents (or whoever's) concern. I remind myself constantly that with my son (and now #2) I really must learn how to be openly supportive without letting that overbearing concern blare all over the place!

Sorry, I know I'm rambling! lol!

I'm excited for you too Greaseball! Especially since we're due the same month!!

Laura
mama to Finn (2) and ? (June '04)

 

[homebirthing]

When we told my mother in law we are pregnant with our third baby, she said....oh dear.

OK!!!

And when I told my mother, she said how did that happen?

OK!!!

And when we told my brother in law, he told my husband to keep it in his pants...

OK!!!

Screw all of you.

When I told my sister, she started to cry because she was so happy for me. Yay sister!

I use exclamation points for things that don't even need them!! I am so excited about birth!!

Congratulations to us all!!!

 

[morninglark]

Congratulations Greaseball!!

I can totally relate. My father, who is also not so good at "socially appropriate responses" told me to "think really hard about what you want to do..." when I told him. Here I am 4 wks away from the birth and he still can't act excited. He is more freaked out that I have stretch marks and have marred my body for life! It hurts because everyone else is so excited for us.

This is our/my first kid and we are really excited. Although we didn't plan the baby and weren't married when we conceived, so it wasn't an "ideal" situation, but WTF? Oh! And a great aunt told my dh that he isn't "mature enough to have a child" (he's 35) because we plan on having him quit his low-paying high-stress job and stay at home with the kid, while I work at my higher-paying "career" job to support us.

On the other hand, Greaseball, don't take the lack of enthusiasm too much to heart. I think some people say things that just don't come out right (I know I have once or twice), and don't know how to back out of it gracefully. That, and sometimes I cut back on my use of exclamation marks in e-mails because I hate reading them in books. I know, two different media...

 

[wildthing]

Laura,
I know there were a few exclamations points after my congratulations to you! :LOL

Sarah,
I know we will get a lot of those comments too.....I am just hoping that at least a few people will smile at our news....wait, I know my niece Annie will be excited. She keeps saying "Aunt Donna needs another baby in her tummy!"

 

[GoodWillHunter]

Quote:

Originally posted by wildthing I sort of prefer the disinterest to the rude comments...."Great, another kid to buy presents for." Um, yeah, like we are having a baby so you will have to buy our family more presents! :LOL Hey Greaseball, you know I'm excited for you!!!!!!!!

Oh, yeah... The *rude* comments from complete strangers:

"You do know how this happens don't you?" Yep, sure do!
"You must not have cable." Nope, we don't!
"You haven't got that fixed yet?" No, it works quite well!

And so it goes...I'm looking for some massive negative reaction from my mom and dad when we finally get the guts to tell them about our newest buddy....