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She hates when I'm doing things I enjoy!

547 Views 8 Replies 9 Participants Last post by  MamaMonica
I could spend all day cleaning, doing laundry, washing dishes, etc. and my almost 2! year old is just fine, but the second I pick up my guitar, she has a fit and wants me to stop immediately. And even more importantly to me, if I ever work in our garden, she has a meltdown and wants me to pick her up and cries until it's just not pleasant anymore. I mean, I'm trying to grow us food here! And it is my absolute passion! I create activities for her, dig for bugs (which she loves), bring out her art stuff, all the things she'll do at any other time but if I'm doing something I love, she has a fit until I stop. I could even just be sitting outside, picking up around the yard, etc. and she's fine, but the minute I step foot into that garden, it's all over. I've always included her in the process, so I guess that's why I don't understand. I hate that she sees the garden as a traumatic experience! Any thoughts?
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I had to laugh at your post, I know it is frustrating for you though, so I'm sorry.
I can do anything I want to, but as soon as I try to come on the computer, my ds climbs on me and whines, and starts doing little "naughty" things to get my attention. He even knows how to turn it off, the little turd. Now Daddy can sit on the pc all day and he won't give him a second look. Makes it hard for me to get on MDC!!!
Dh says he doesn't like sharing my attention, but again, I can do anything else....I don't know the answer to your question....it is a mystery! Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
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Originally Posted by KyleAnn
Now Daddy can sit on the pc all day and he won't give him a second look.
ditto that!

on the gardening/guitaring issue from OP. Can your dd do those things with you? i.e. does she have a guitar? on the gardening thing...my dd has her own shovel and we have a big old pot full of dirt in the middle of my garden. she spends hours helping mom garden. she also has her own little watering can to help mom water.
Oh boy, can I relate! (Though my ds loves to do chores with me too.)

I love to scrapbook and am about a year behind in my albums, so I've been trying to work on it. I've tried everything to keep ds occupied so that I can do it. One day I made him playdough thinking that it would be so novel and fun and I could get some things done right at the same table while he played. He had a great time with the playdough for about 2 minutes until I pulled out my scrapbooking and then wanted nothing to do with it. So I thought, "He wants to 'help', I'll set him up with his own page." I got him some pictures that I wasn't using, some paper, a glue stick, stickers, etc.--all things that he totally loves and begs to use any other time. He wanted nothing to do with them! He wanted to sit on my lap while I scrapbooked and help with MY page! I finally gave up. This is a child who has plenty of one-on-one attention the whole rest of the day...
I sure know what you mean! I am not allowed to do anything for myself. really! It is just like you said... as soon I do something I enjoy, it is over.
I am right there with you
. I can seriously wash dishes, mop floors, and clean bathrooms while DS happily plays on his own, but the second I sit down to scrapbook or read or do something I actually enjoy, he's all over me. Luckily, he lets me garden and enjoys weeding alongside me. Sometimes things that aren't quite weeds end up in my compost bucket, but oh well.....
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A little while ago I went to take a shower, while ds played happily on the floor with his soldiers. I asked him a question and he said he was very busy and couldn't talk to me right now
I carried on with my blow drying, getting dressed. I went downstairs and made a snack, read some email, then the phone rang. Ds immediately needed me to come help him "right now please". I swear it had been an hour since he even acknowledged that I was in the house with him. But let the stinkin' phone ring and he's up my butt. As soon as I hung up he told me to go "read your book so I can play". Dh said I am supposed to be like an ambulance, there if he needs me, but otherwise just sit there and be quiet :LOL
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Quote:
she has a fit until I stop
That is the answer to your dilema.
You accidentally gave her a positive response to her behaviour. next time this happens I would keep doing what I was and I calmly tell her you will be happy to hold her as soon as you finish what you're doing.
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My kids don't even want me to mop. I do get to work in my art studio occasionally-they each have kid's easels and they took my oil pastels so I took that as a message from the universe to buy myself some new ones. Especially considering the state the old ones are in now...

Good luck. It is really a challenge.
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