She's begging to go back to school

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Can you work on that problem? Is she working on stuff that is too easy?

I guess my willingness to allow my child to go to ps would depend primarily on two things:

1) How I felt about the local school
2) Why I was homeschooling in the first place

Want to rant a bit more so we can get a better feeling where you are comeing from?

Yes please. Rant a bit more so we can target the undercurrents here.

My children have asked to go to public school. Some of the hardest talks we've had with them center around our belief to homeschool and how public school isn't right for us.

What are your reasons for homeschooling ?
Could your dd use a different style of teaching ?
Are you involved in any playgroups ?

I'm guessing as summertime hits its peak her schooled friends are remembering the last year and talking about the upcoming year and she feels the need to be included.

Have you bragged to her all the things she gets to do that ps kids don't ? (school in jammies , sleep late , eat when you want , don't have to raise your hand to pee , stay on a craft project all day...)

See if you can get out of her exactly what she wants from ps that she isn't getting from hs. One lil girl I knew said " I don't wanna be hs'ed I wanna go to ps". Later on it came out she wanted to ride the bus ! That's all she wanted to do. A few quick trips on the city bus and she was much happier. lol

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I feel for you, I know how tough that decision can be. We homeschooled for my son's fifth grade year and we really enjoyed it. I thought we'd homeschool from then on. But we moved and ds really wanted to try ps again.

It was an agonizing decision. I truly believe there is no "right" answer. Homeschool has it's advantadges and so does ps (at least in our experience, that's been the case.) All you can do is what you feel is best for your child. One thing that helped me was to remind myself that I can take him out or enroll him in public school at at time. In otherwords, the decision you make it not carved in stone. After touring the school and speaking with the principal, we decided to let him try ps again.

My ds got a lot out of doing 6th grade in ps, however, he has mentioned switching back to hs and I am secretly thrilled. I am trying very hard not to influence his decision, but if chooses to hs again, I'm ready!

Good luck to you.

Why exactly does she want to go to PS?

I guess my dd has never felt left out by the ps kidson our blockl. for one, out of 7 friends they go to 4 different schools. More than half of them beg me to homeschool them. they aren't blind. They know Madeline never has homework :LOL

When madz begged to go to PS it turned out to be silly stuff. she wanted to ride the bus, eat lunchin the cafateria and be in her friends class (not likely to happen. Only two are in the same grade and they go to the exclusive charter school which is way too accademic for my tastes.)

The other two were easy enough, we rode the city bus around, picked up a HS friend and headed over the hospital to eat in the caateria. Done.

In the end whatever her reasons were I am the mom and I get to make the descisions that are best for her. I have my reasons for choosing homeschooling and they aren't little reasons. she doesn't have to agree with me but she will be homeschooled by me. I will try to accomodate whatever she feels like she is missing with in reason (the above example cost less than $5 and provided lessons in money counting, public transportation and balanced nutrition - not to mention hanging with good friends) but I won't cmpromise principles over them.

DD is only 4 and has asked to go to the school in our neighborhood. When I asked her why she said she wanted to ride a school bus. I told her that because we live so close to school she would be walking, not riding the bus.

Another time she said she wanted to play at the park at school (playground) I told her we would be able to do that once summer was here, since the playground belongs to everyone in the city

She has a friend who has been in day care since he was a babe; she also wants to go to day care Whenever we are doing something during a school day that she really loves (movie, park, museum etc) I try to point out that kids in school and daycare couldn't be doing this right now.

Sort of T but I wondered if anyone was considering allowing their child to "test" ps at some point if they did want to and what age they might do it.
I tell myself jr. high should get the ps wannabes out of her system

at this point if my kids asked to go to ps I would say it is not a choice

my younger kids have never asked to go to school & have never been to one
my older kids went to ps and would never ask to go back, I think their perspective colors the younger siblings plus our neighbor kids are vocal about the amount of homework and how nasty some of the teachers are here at the local school

this summer my oldest is at the high school volunteering with a program & working with other ps teens just a couple hours a week in their av dept to help edit and do sound
he has commented to me how much he does not want his younger bros to ever have to go there or be part of that at all, wierd thing was one of our ex family thought if ds' were around ps teens that they would want to be part of that group socially and instead they have all decided they would rather not. DS said he felt really sad for the girls there with the way the teen boys talked to them and were so disrespectful of staff too.

so now for my younger kids if they ever asked I would just say no

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I'm not at a "school-age" yet (my oldest is 3), but I can completely understand where you're coming from in this area above. My baby, who is almost 8 months old, is extremely needy, will not nap anywhere but the sling on my lap, dislikes the car, and still takes 3 naps a day. It's really tough to go places for my older son. I have like a 2.5 window in the day near lunchtime, where it's feasible. I so know where you're coming from on that. I keep telling myself that it is temporary, that the baby is easier and more portable than he was a month ago, and that things will get more manageable. I hope some of the others with older kids and hs experience will be able to give you some good words of advice.

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THis is a tough situation. You really want your DD to be happy, yet you really want to homeschool also.

Remember, going to ps may not solve all your problems. It may help with some, not with others, and create a few more for you. You will continue to be a family of 5 with 15 different things to do at once.

Perhaps you could explore those social reasons under the context that you will continue to homeschool. My DS went through a lot this past spring wtih wanting to go to ps also. He wanted to be with his friends from the neighborhood, baseball and Cub scouts. In reality, he probably would continue to see the same kids more after school than in school. These days I am more open to inviting kids over to play, attending homeschool group activities(to foster hs friendships), inviting friends to accompany us on outings, having sleep overs, etc. just to get more kids into our daily life. Many ps kids I know still want to be social after school, and want to be shuttled here and there, yet parents have *less* hours to do it in!

Good luck and I hope you find something that works for both you and your DD.

My kids are ds15 1/2, ds10, ds7, dd 4 1/2 and I work pt most of the time. I think I understand where you are coming from.

You can see that things at home are not the way you would like them to be, you feel you are not meeting your dc needs.

IME I take the most obivious thing to be rid of when I feel overwhelmed and want to delegate some of my life out to others. But for us I know not homeschooling would actually make life more chaotic

But sending dc to school might help with the social thing, it might not and might make things worse for her. It won't make your life easier because PS comes with its own schedule and foibles to make your life more interesting, it won't give you more freedom if you are still at home in a house kinda out of control. Maybe not look at it as having to 'do it all',
but break down what doing it all means to you and figure out what is going to make you feel more in control of your family life, so you know which thing to conquer.

I don't see this as about homeschooling, more about being a mom with young children and finding the groove or path for your day to day life that results in all of you in your home happy and healthy to enjoy the days.

It sounds like it is time to regroup and build anew the next year.
I would start by establishing a routine for the day and setting simple goals for myself and I would stop to examine what I really want from my family life.

Look at yourself thinking, do you need to go get a haircut? taking care of your self personally, are you eating right and excersing? got any fun things you like to do hobbies, a positive mentor mom df you talk to frequently?
Look at home with an honest eye, how much stuff can you get rid of? If your dd hates clutter, start in her room. Can you clear out 1/4 the stuff in your home to donate to charity & use the receipt for tax write off next year? Can you find the money to get a cleaning lady to come in and scrub the heck out of your bathroom and kitchen? Do you have your freezer stocked with simple things to pull out to put together soup and sandwich quickly for no stress dinners?
Do you have a central calendar for kids activities that is up to date? Do you belong to an active hs support group and are meeting with other moms at least once a month and you dc gets to play with other hsers at least 3-4 times a month? As far as meeting social needs, decide how requently your dd needs contact with others outside the home and then you can find creative ways to do that. invite others over if you can't get out. Ten minutes here and ten minutes there is normal direct instruction time for families with young children and that should be sufficent to meet your childs academic needs.
It is okay for your ds to nap in a stroller at the playground or in the car taking lil two naps while you drive to the next town for dd to be in 4-h or scouts. And don't beat yourself up about your dd, she will be fine. You have the whole summer to reinvent, I would wait on thinking about school till closer to fall and right now focus on yourself and your needs.

I am in so cal too. ((((HUG))))

First of all you only have a few kids and her teacher will have 20-30. There isn't much time for eing social in school;. they aren';t allowed to talk in class or at lunch and the penalty for doing so is that you losed recess. or the one glimpse of social time.

Your baby may still be taking 2 naps a day but that will be short lived. Most babies are on one nap a day by thier first birthday. regardless of how old your child now I can pretty much garuntee that he will be one before the end of the school year. Once you are down to one nao it gets much easier. we are pretty tied down to dd nap, it wa shard earned and took a lot of time and energy to get her napping regularly and we never never disrespect her need for it or for a full nap. I haighly recommend getting in touch with a homeschooing group. There are a million social activities and other kids her age to bond with. We first of all came to a place where we relized we didn't need to do everything. Secondly as far as social value goes, spending one after noon with one or two girl friends goes miles further than 10 educational field trips back to back. they will just talk through them anyway. thirdly we give each others kids rideseverywhere. There is no need for a hundred parents to chaperone 100 grade school kids and 200 little sibling. Some times we trade kids Mom A will take the older one while mom b drops of the little ones. This gives the babies something to do and makes more room in the car for mom C who gets a preciouce hour to clean her house. next time mom B dirves, c watches the kids and A gets to clean. We also work hard to accomodate afternoon nap time, mimimize drive time, and build in breaks for everyone. (hey we all want them) and it we have agreed not to consider it rude to call someone up and say "Jr. is playing with chuck, can sally come over to your house. I will take Lily next Thurs. I could really use some cleaning time " (ya know it is funny, i never imagined happily planning to get some major cleaning done and considering an incredible break :LOL )

Anyway, it can be done. It might mean stepping back and just figuring out how you will structure your day. It might mean rethinkinh your parenting plan. It may mean rethinking your homeschooling philosophy. some things just work better on paper. You may have to move out of your comfort zone and start networking with people even though it feels rude or whatever. It was hard for me to ask people to give my dd rides. Fortunately I had a friend who just shows up to grab my dds. It has beenmy experiance that most homeschoolers are more than happy to jump in and make things work. after all thier kids want your kids there to socialize with. just be sure to reciprocate and not take advantage. perhaps someone can take your child to the field trip during the day and you can pick hers up for the even park concert. Also I know a lot of dad (even my dh will occaisionally swing by for a pick up) who will drop kids off at events and pick them up. that way mom can stay home with the babies and there are always plenty of parents willing to help out when it comes to hurding kids along a tour. You just have ot start digging. One mom satys in the car with her sleeping babies (she does daycare) while we supervise her older kids on the tours/classes. In the end though 2-3 playdates a week may be all your dd needs to feel like she is gettingthe social interaction she needs. and if you are really lucky some of those will be at the friends house.

On allowing my kids to 'test' out public school.... nope. the ps teaches things that are blantantly against our religion. I know there is nothing the public school can offer that I can't offer too thru other sources. No I can't reproduce a chemistry lab in my house , but I can call one of the laboratories in the neighboring city and ask if they have classes/ or can give a tour. I may not be able to teach high level math but I can find someone who can. For us it goes back to us being their parents and raising them as we see fit until they are of an age to take care of and make big decisions for themselves.

About the question: Is it really possible to do it all ? I say NO. No it's not possible to do it all. And *news flash* you don't have to. The most important thing you can do right now at this stage in your children's lives is make sure they are being cared for. The dishes may sit , the floor will collect dustbunnies and the laundry hamper will overflow....but did you make a difference in the life of a child today ???

All good points. Jen - It reminded me of all the reasons we pulled her out in the first place. The science and a couple of other things they were teaching her were just not acceptable to us. I just need to get more organized. I think that would alleviate most of my fears that i am doing an okay job. I have joined a support group and have plans to go to the CHEA convention (for homeschoolers). I know this is what is best for her. I just need to perservere and not let guilt win. It's so hard. Does it ever get easy? She has ADD so that was one of the main factors for pulling her out of school. they had pages and pages of busy work every day, and that was 1st grade! She couldn't concentrate long enough to finish..but she is REALLY smart. She just couldn't keep up with the busy work. But she could read at the 3rd grade level in 1st grade. But they wouldn't let her stay in the advanced group because she couldn't get the work done.

There is so much that i don't agree with in public school. But you know the grass is greener saying. when things get frazzled here it is easy to think that PS would be better option.

-Melissa

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I recently went through this with my eldest (10yo, 4th grade age). It was the first time she'd expressed any interest in school, and it followed a period of aimlessness and grumpyness. It was actually my question ("Do you think you'd feel happier if you went to school?") that sparked the experiment, but I didn't expect her to respond in the affirmative!

I think that her age was just about the ideal one to "test" ps. The academic mismatches that are part and parcel of varied developmental timetables of younger children had mostly evened out. The social issues of junior high hadn't really set in yet. And the academic focus on bookwork is there.

She went for 2 days, scored an A+ on the only timed math quiz she'd ever done and an A on the review quiz for a social studies unit she hadn't been taught, demystified school for herself, felt successful and then said "that was fun, but I wouldn't want to have to do it every day."

It was quite a gamble, letting her go to check it out for two days. I'm not sure that if she'd decided she wanted to go to school next fall I'd have allowed her to do so. (It would have entailed lots of changes for the rest of the family, so it would have been a collaborative decision.) So I'm very glad it worked out as it did.

I was lucky. I'm guessing that she won't be interested for some time now.

On a humourous note... a friend of mine let her child try school for a day at age 11. Her daughter came home and said "It was okay, but what I really noticed was how hard everything was."

"Hard?" asked her mom, already feeling a surge of guilt and inadequacy.

"Yeah, hard," said her daughter. "The chairs were all wood. When we were listening to a story we had to sit on the floor, and it was just tile. There were no couches or soft chairs anywhere. And no curtains, just hard brick walls."

"Ahhh..." said the mom.

Miranda

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That is SOO true! They tested my daughter and noticed something right off the bat: She has to be standing up to concentrate. Well that is just not allowed in school during test time. It is nice to allow her to lay on the floor to do her work, or stand and pace. whatever works best for her.