[haleyelianasmom]

Why do other people always seem to know what is best for my daughter when it comes to food? It's like a universal. Even people who don't put in their 2 cents about dd in any other topic seem to suddenly know she REALLY wants candy or ice cream or meat. My MIL has said a few times "oh, so she'll be able to eat that in a few months/next summer/soon!" (talking about ice cream, cheeseburgers, whatever). My parents kept saying how hungry dd might be before she started eating much (she didn't really take to solids until maybe 10 months), and they always joked that she wanted coke/mango sorbet/chocolate/ice cream. It's not like they fed that stuff to me as a baby...

Then the worst, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. I'm vegetarian making the switch to being vegan and I'd like to raise dd as a veg*n. That and she's still mostly breastfed (she's almost 1 and probably gets 95% of her nutrition from breastmilk), I think it drives them nuts. We were at their house and they kept saying "she wants chili!" "give her some chocolate, she'll smear it all over her face, she'll love it!" or "try milky way bars" and they were about ready to have their daughter (who is almost 5) share some chips with dd! When I took her out to the car to nurse her (yeah, I went in the car, she was too distracted in their house because the 5 year old kept following us and wanting to talk to dd), I came back in and dd complained a bit. SIL said "aww, she wants real food" or something of that nature.

So to all of you who know what is best for MY daughter to be eating even though I am the one who has read all the books on health and nutrition, you're right. I'm depriving my poor baby of all the candy bars and pork chops and ice cream.

What is it with people and the issue of feeding your child???

 

[Mama Poot]

I'm having a similar problem with my mother regarding my older child's nutrition. Since I don't know how to find/link my own thread, its over in the Parenting forum. DS is 1yo tommorrow and my mom asked about three times now if I'm going to give him macaroni and cheese or "do you let him eat fries?", since DS loves potatoes. He's allowed to eat potatoes in their natural state, not drenched in grease! We've recently discovered that DS has a severe problem digesting cow's milk, so we've decided to eliminate all cow's milk things from his diet. We're going to try goat's milk, and he gets about 6-8oz of pumped breastmilk right now ( working on increasing that ). You're not alone out there. Just stick to your guns and do what is right for your DD and your family.

 

[MySunflowerBoys]

I sure wish I knew!!! I'm sorry they are being such butts to you! They really should attempt to respect your decisions.

I've had the same problem with my dad and my sons. When DS#2 was about 8 mos old, we were out to breakfast with my parents. My dad saw me feeding Sean baby food and said, "oh what he'd really like is this...(squirts HONEY on his finger)" Luckily I saw him before he had a chance to jam his finger in Sean's mouth! I totally yelled at him and said "NO WAY! You may not give him honey!" My sister was with us and she said, "She's right, dad, you can't give kids under the age of 3 honey because of botulism!" Thank God I had back up on that one.

Sean has feeding issues, related to having Down syndrome, and only eats baby food. We have been working on changing him to table foods with our therapist's help for the past 6 months. Whenever my parents visit, my dad constantly tries to give Sean food -in an aggressive manner- when he opens his mouth to eat the food I'm feeding him dad tries to "sneak" in french fries or something else. It really upsets Sean (sensory issues) and me! Ugh!

I feel your pain!!

 

[coloradoalice]

Good grief, sounds just like my MIL. She is always making comments about how my kids need to eat. She tried to feed my daughter strawberry shortcake at 4 months old, no kidding!!

: Gracie had severe reflux and issues with eggs and nuts and my MIL tried to spoon some into her mouth! I grabbed her away and said "no, she doesn't eat food, it might cause a reaction!!!" She acted like I was crazy. With both kids she always makes comments like "poor baby, you want some ________ to eat, don't you." Like I am starving them to death or something! Makes me crazy. Now Gracie is a great eater, but Ian still only nurses and she said something the other day about how he should have a hamburger with us. I just rolled my eyes and then my BIL's girlfriend said "Na, he knows what the good stuff is!" and I said, "That's right, specially formulated just for him every day!"

:

I really hope my BIL marries this one!!

 

[elmh23]

My BIL and his wife started solids really early (well by my standards, they started at 4 months) with their four sons. So when they came to visit when dd was 5.5 months, SIL got all pissed at me because I hadn't fed her solids yet. We went to visit them (thank God they live in another state

) when dd was like 10 months old and she wasn't really into solids. So SIL takes it upon herself to try and give my dd a chicken nugget (the un-healthy kind.) My dd doesn't eat meat (we're meat eaters, but don't care if she doesn't want to be) so she basically used the nugget to eat the ketchup. After seeing that my dd loves ketchup, she recommended I serve everything with ketchup so maybe she'd eat it. Um, no. She was (is) still nursing, so she wasn't lacking and was obviously growing well (she's almost as tall as SIL's 4 year old, both dads are the same height and she and I are close in height.)

As for desert, I guess I'm lucky in that sense. Dh's family is a breastfeeding family (YAY!) so when they would see me eating desert, they'd comment to dd "You'll be tasting that later, yum!"

 

[shelley4]

i hear you! my kids are also vegan, and we got that all the time "so, when can i give him some icecream/turkey/cheese?". and lots of complaining and eye rolling

when you say no. it is totally disrespectful!

i mean, i never say anything when i see other people giving thier babies/toddlers junk food and pop (although i definately THINK it!). sometimes i think they would be happier if i did just feed them junk and fast food, because at least then, it would be familiar to them

:

 

[momtoNatalee]

I am going thru the same thing! My dd is also almost a yr and gets I'd say 95% of her nutrition from breastmilk. Just wanted to say I know how you feel

 

[neverdoingitagain]

I had the same problem with my IL's. They were constantly trying to get me to feed my dd food, before she was 6 months old. My FIL's favorite line was "oh, she wants something to eat, give her some real food"

:
I had to do some pretty fast talking, explaining that 1) Kiki was tasting what I ate through my breastmilk (I said this in a "did you know" kind of way to my MIL. She got the hint) and 2) breastmilk is real food, designed especially for babies. Eventually my MIL was asking if Kiki and I wanted __________ for supper/breakfast, whatever(meaning through my milk)
They also know that I'm stubborn as a mule, and will talk them to death if they wanted to argue about it

Thank God she's 2 now.

 

[ACsMom]

I get the same crap from my family, who somehow manage to question every aspect of my parenting from 500 miles away. We're traveling to see them next week and they've already started grilling me about starting solids. (My nephew's first solid food was a mcdonalds french fry that my sister mushed up for him

At least she waited until he was eight months old) I'm a vegetarian, have at times been totally vegan, and they are constantly making fun of me for that. The only thing that keeps me from going nuts is the fact that they can take it just as well as they can dish it out, so I come right back at them, even my mom. I do get tired of it, though.

 

[KnitLady]

I hear you! My mom says stuff like that to. Ds is not even six months old yet. I think my mom says it because she is really uncomfortable with breastfeeding (breasts are sexual, or didn't you know).

My mom is supportive of bf'ing just not comfortable with it. If I switch ds from one side to the other she says, "Oh, maybe he wants chocolate milk!" or, "He wants Coke instead of Pepsi!". As if my breasts are actually a soda fountain!

My grandma kept looking at my ds saying, "I just can't believe he hasn't had anything but breastmilk yet!" My ds is a big boy, so it isn't a "oh he must be starving" thing. She couldn't believe it when I refused to give him any shaved ice (without flavoring!) and kept insisting he was hot and would love it. Maybe, maybe not, but he didn't get any!

I don't have any advise, just letting you know you aren't alone!

 

[BelgianSheepDog]

I wonder if this is a breastfeeding issue or a broader Americans-are-weird-about-food issue. Because while my relatives do the same obnoxious thing with babies that everyone is describing here (right up to my grandma ranting about how my 2-week-old wanted a french fry) they also do it to bigger people. Like my brother doesn't like the taste or texture of pork. Never has, all his life. Just doesn't like it. They CANNOT leave him alone about it! "But how about bacon? Surely you like bacon! Maybe if I put some applesauce on the pork chop! YOU WANT PORK YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT IT!!!" They get hysterical about it. They try hiding bits of bacon or sausage in dishes to force him to eat pork. They harrass him about converting to Judaism or Islam. They cannot just accept that he doesn't enjoy pork.

I think actually it's in the same vein as the breastfeeding/solids comments!

 

[Song of Joy]

My dad would joke like that sometimes when my kids were not on solids. It bugged me some (more b/c I felt like it was silly), but I let it go. My parents are wonderful about breastfeeding. My mom was a LLL member and extended nursed all of us kids (2+ yrs each in the 70's) and they are very AP minded. So from my dad, I know he just thought it was funny.

My standard reply became (b/c I was hungry a lot anyway), "Well, give it to me and baby will get it in a few hours!"

I've had it from a few other people, too, and I felt like they were making a comment on my choice to delay solids. Now that irked me....

:

 

[chelsmm]

First of all, breast milk is REAL food.

Second, even if she is technically old enough for garbage food by some standards, that doesn't mean my dd is getting chips, chocolate, (insert whatever you don't want your kid to have here)....

Third- My dd doesn't always know what she wants to eat...so saying "she wants ice cream" is really silly. She'd eat the dogs food if I let her. She's a baby, she wants everything!

Anyways, I think most of us have gone through this, or are going through it. Just remember that you are doing what's best for your baby. And always remember to watch those family members around her, my il's have been know to sneak food to babies against the parent's wishes....

 

[sapphire_chan]

Why on earth don't people ask "when can I help feed her some carrots?" or "when can I give her a bite of pear?"??

 

[senke]

Wow. I feel so blessed to have a mom who doesn't dish out that sort of pressure. She's very-pro-breastfeeding pediatrician, so instead I hear things like:

"God didn't forget to make spoons. He made breasts and he made hands. If your baby can't pick it up and put it in her mouth, she doesn't need to eat it."

"Don't be in a rush to start solids--with your history of allergies, the longer you wait, the healthier your baby will be."

"The longer you breastfeed, the better."

"You know, there are still cultures out there who breastfeed EXCLUSIVELY for two years. Your baby isn't missing out on anything."

And she's talked repeatedly with a sad sigh about the babies in her practice whose first food is a french fry.

(She's also more likely to tell a nursing mother to put fresh BM on an eye or ear infection than to hand out antibiotics.)

Is it any wonder I grew up ASSUMING I would breastfeed my children?

Also, her support gives me ammunition for when I get comments like "What is she eating now?" (DD's only five months!) I can just say "Well, my mom says..." and people always defer to her because she's a pediatrician.

Wow. I should call my mom up and tell her I love her...

 

[firstkid4me]

At my family Christmas party last year, my cousin's baby (6 months old at the time, Emily was almost 11 months old) was being fed baked beans and beef jerky by one of my aunts. I made sure Emily was with me (or dh) the whole night.

 

[pookel]

Holy cow, what is wrong with all these people? I can't tell you how many times I've had this sort of conversation with my mom or my MIL:

Her: Is it OK to feed him eggs yet?
Me: No, they say now you're supposed to wait until he's 1.
Her: Oh, really? When my kids were little, they said six months. I guess he can wait, then.

I didn't realize until I started reading stuff like this thread how lucky I am to have family on both sides who respect my parenting decisions!

 

[hottmama]

I get that too.
"He wants some ____." Before 6 months, after 6 months, even at 3.5 they are trying to get my oldest to eat meat (he was vegan until 2, and vegetarian until after 3, and now he eats turkey sometimes but no other meat). It drives me nuts! My mom was the worst when Luka was pre-solids. She was just dying to feed him so when he was past 6 months I let her try feeding him, and she just would not accept that he wasn't interested! She kept trying to shove a spoon in his mouth (because she didn't believe he could feed himself, which is how we do it). He spit that banana out a hundred times and she finally gave up and said, "I guess you aren't as bright as we thought you were" to Luka.

: Now that he eats a lot of solids everyone is much happier with us.

 

[muckemom]

Just a thought... DS **loves** vegan chilli... the best recipes are on allrecipies.com

I know that wasn't the point of this thread... I just love the site... lol.

 

[SharonAnne]

Quote:

I wonder if this is a breastfeeding issue or a broader Americans-are-weird-about-food issue. Because while my relatives do the same obnoxious thing with babies that everyone is describing here (right up to my grandma ranting about how my 2-week-old wanted a french fry) they also do it to bigger people. Like my brother doesn't like the taste or texture of pork. Never has, all his life. Just doesn't like it. They CANNOT leave him alone about it! "But how about bacon? Surely you like bacon! Maybe if I put some applesauce on the pork chop! YOU WANT PORK YOU JUST WON'T ADMIT IT!!!" They get hysterical about it. They try hiding bits of bacon or sausage in dishes to force him to eat pork. They harrass him about converting to Judaism or Islam. They cannot just accept that he doesn't enjoy pork. I think actually it's in the same vein as the breastfeeding/solids comments!

AMEN. ITA.