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Shoes, are you here?<br><br>
Does anyone know shoes IRL?<br><br>
This was the last message I know of:<br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?p=7854123#post7854123" target="_blank"><br>
I'm in labor!</a> - 5 days ago now.<br><br>
...on tenterhooks here... hoping and sending good thoughts.
 

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I've been wondering how she's doing as well...but I did check her profile and she'd had activity more recently. Thinking of you!!
 

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I'm here.... Not doing so well though. I've wanted to post before, but never really felt up to it. There is A LOT going on right now. I didn't end up getting my UC on Sunday<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> . I tried my absolute HARDEST, I swear. It was something I had wanted sooooo badly and it was very upsetting to me. The pain became completely unbearable. I did a lot of vocalizing to help me get through each contraction, using low tones like it's recomended. Hours and hours into it, my moans became more of grunts and I could not control my body from slightly bearing down on each contraction. My cervix began to swell and I was so scared of a c/s, so I went in to the hospital.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I got the epidural and was able to have a vaginal birth at least. We had another dd, 8 pound 8 ounces names Faris Mona. My first was all natrual and so it was really upsetting that I couldn't do it again. I was sooo sad. She wasn't even 3 hours old and I was already crying about losing my birth. It was so hard to even look at her. Dh and I only want 2 dc, so it was just heartbreaking that I will never have a beautiful story to tell and experience birth in such a beautiful way.<br>
Over the next 2 days I did A TON of crying. She wouldn't nurse at all her first 24 hours and I felt like she was regecting me. The next day I got her to latch on a couple of times and that really helped me start to bond with her and finally fall in love. Then Wed. came........................<br>
About mid-day her temp dropped and we couldn't keep her warm. She suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. We knew it was something serious wrong and jumped into the car with our 2 year old and heading to Cooks satilite sation down the road. By the time we got there, just a 3-4 min. drive, she was sheet white pale and starting to look blue. We were transported to Cooks downtown by amblance, lights and sirens the whole way. They had a room and a team ready to recieve her when we arrived. Within just a few min., there were literally 17 people in the room working on her.... The doctor came over to me and said "Your baby is very sick."<br>
We didn't realize it would be THAT serious <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br>
She has hyoplastic left heart syndrome.<br><a href="http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/heart-encyclopedia/anomalies/hlhs.htm" target="_blank">http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/h...alies/hlhs.htm</a><br>
She will need 3 open heart surgeries to reconstruct her heart. The first one is on Monday (23rd) and will last pretty much all day. It is a very complicated surgery. Her recovery time will be 1-2 month in the hospital. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: They next on will be about 6 months later, and the 3rd is sometime between 2-4 years of age.<br>
It's such a hard condition that one of our "treatment options" is comfort care... just make her comfy and watch her die. We have this option (NOT CHOSING IT) and the doctor says they support parents in whatever decision we make. They would be fine with us killing our daughter... but they contacted CPS for not just not having prenatal care, but not having a SONOGRAM?!?!?<br>
I feel so stupid about being so upset about the birth now. It really put things into perspective. They could have ripped her out of me any way they wanted, I just want her to be okay now. I just keep thinking about how much I want those first 2 days back so I can love on her harder.<br>
Please keep my daughter in your prayers. I want so badly to be able to hold and kiss her again.<br><br><a href="http://s172.photobucket.com/albums/w28/babyfaris/" target="_blank">http://s172.photobucket.com/albums/w28/babyfaris/</a>
 

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OMG...I am SO terribly sorry, mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br><br>
You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated.<br><br>
She's beautiful.
 

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Mama, you have two beautiful girls <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Sorry to hear you had such a sad birth experience, and especially that Faris has such severe heart problems. But it sounds like she had the help she needed from birth, and there are amazing treatments for heart problems. Healing vibes for her. I'll be thinking of you on Monday...the surgeries must be so tough on you and your family, as well as her...<br><br>
So they called CPS because you had no prenatal care, but the baby was born in a hospital and this health problem wasn't found until after she went home? Sounds really ridiculous, and I hope that things get straightened out. Have they told you anything about how they missed this after she was born? Sorry...I'm sure contention is the last thing you need right now, I'm just frustrated on your behalf. I wish doctors and cps could distinguish between people who get no prenatal care negligently and those who do it as their <i>choice</i> of prenatal care...it's such a different thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Aww, I'm so sorry to hear.<br><br>
You grew a nice chunky little Faris, though, it looks like. I hope all that love that you grew her with helps her through the surgeries. SHe's beautiful!!!!!
 

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Discussion Starter #7
To answer your question Jster (about how they missed this at the hosp exam):<br><br>
HLHS is often undetected at birth because it often does not cause any heart murmur, and the baby's circulation works until a certain heart valve closes in order to change from cord-sourced oxygenation to lung-sourced oxygenation (which normally happens a few hours or days after birth). It's quite visible on sonograms, so more likely to be detected prior to birth these days; however, since routine scans are not recommended by any major medical association, they are way out of line calling CPS for not having had one.<br><br>
This is what cristeen's baby has also.<br><br>
Hugs to you mama. Sending positive thoughts for you and your babe.
 

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Oh I know you are so scared! But you have so much love in your family -- it's evident! That love will save sweet Faris!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/winner.jpg" style="border:0px solid;" title="BFSymbol"><br><br>
shoes,<br><br>
I don't know how Faris needs to eat with the surgery and hospitalization and all, but with the stress and possibly having to exclusively pump, I thought you might have some need for extra milk. And I wanted to let you know that someone at milkshare.com could probably help with more breastmilk (to get outside the hosp. and pretend it's your own expressed milk, since hospital personnel would freak out otherwise); alternatively, donated milk can be prescribed and obtained through a milk bank (pasteurized and $3 an ounce, but sometimes insurance will cover it).<br><br>
More hugs to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"> to you, mama, and prayers for little Faris.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> to you and your family.
 

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Beautiful Baby Faris will definitely be in my prayers! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/praying.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="praying">: What adorable children you have!
 

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My prayers are with your family and beautiful little girl <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">: I can't believe they would call CPS. Even if you HAD had prenatal care from an OB, you could still have refused a sonogram, KWIM?<br><br>
As a former NICU nurse, I'm gonna give you a little advice (if you don't mind). While she's in the hospital, really get to know the staff that is caring for her 24hrs a day. I mean REALLY get to know them. It will give you some peace when you have to be away from her that you have a personal connection to the people with her. Also, participate in her care AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. You won't be able to do a lot, especially right out of surgery, but do as much as they will let you and let them know you want to do as much as you can. So many parents are so worried about hurting the baby more, but it's important that you touch and talk to your beautiful baby to bond with her all the more.<br><br>
I agree with PP about the BM. It's the <span style="text-decoration:underline;">best</span> thing for your sick babe and the fact that you can provide for her is good for you, too. She may not be able to have it all the time, but if you freeze and stash, she'll need every drop when she's allowed to have it (even by NG tube).<br><br>
I am thinking so much about you. Please update us on her progress. We're here for you all the time <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Thanks everyone for your words of support. She's doing pretty well today. They took her off the paralisis meds yesterday and it's so nice to see her suckle in her sleep and wiggle a little. She grasps our fingers now too! So sweet! I am pumping like a mad woman round the clock and feel like I've got a pretty good established milk supply making about an ounce and hour. She won't be able to eat any until after surgery so I have a good head start too. It makes me sad though because they said they would have to add things to my milk to make it more calorie dense and they will only be feeding her with a bottle so she won't use any extra calories she doesn't need to be using. Hopefully eventually she can get it straight from mommy.<br>
The CPS thing was no big deal though. The case has already been closed. Even though we are well within our rights not to have formal prenatal care and sonos, they don't know me from the crack attic next door who didn't get a sono either. My dh said he almost felt like buddies with the guy after it all.<br>
We've just been camping out here at the hospital all day loving on her. I want to soak up as much of her as I can before surgery Monday.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Oh, the poor sweet thing, she's absolutely beautiful!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
My thoughts and prayers are with you and sweet Faris <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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We will be praying for your family and your sweet new baby!
 

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Mama, much love to you & your family. Welcome to the world little Faris...may you thrive and be well! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> Shoes<br><br>
You, Faris, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat">
 
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