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Discussion Starter #1
Hi mamas,<br><br>
I may have the opportunity to go with my father to India for 12 days as part of a volunteer trip to help repair cleft palates in children and adults in need. (I would be a trained volunteer, sterilizing instruments or whatever they needed me to do.)<br><br>
However, I would have to leave a few days after DS's 1st b-day...<br><br>
My questions<br><br>
1. Could I do this and resume nursing when I get back? He is already a little challenging to nurse, but I am committed to at least a year....I would probably have to leave him with a combo of expressed milk and formula (I've never used forumula before, but I think I'd have to)<br><br><br>
2. How often would I need to pump while I was gone?<br><br>
Thanks!
 

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Go read my post about going on a weeklong vacation and be prepared to be told you will be abandoning your child.<br><br>
Honestly, I think the trip sounds like a great opportunity. If you think your DS will be okay while you are gone then I would go for it. It's not like this trip is something that will always be offered to you. I would pump as often as DS is nursing at that point. (DD nurses 6 times a day at 11 months and a couple times at night if that gives you any idea. I'd probably pump at least 4 times a day if I were you.)<br><br>
I'm going to be leaving for a week when DD is 16 months old. The general concensus was that she may wean and she may not. I'm just going to pump to keep up my supply and hope she still wants to nurse when I return.
 

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I can't say i have expereince with teh leaveing of the tot.<br><br>
but I would LOOOOVE to go on such a trip. how amazing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
1. can you start goats milk in place of formual?<br><br>
2. think about bottle vs sippy cup and start either now (not sure when this tripo would be but you want a long time to get use to bottle or cup and find a cup the dc likes)<br><br>
3. I would pump at least 4 to 6 times a day, or more, as often as you could to maintain supply as best you can while gone. others will know more<br><br>
I am sure there are others who know a loooooot more. I jsut had to tell you the tirp sounds amazing and wonderful<br><br>
Aimee
 

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I can't say i have expereince with teh leaveing of the tot.<br><br>
but I would LOOOOVE to go on such a trip. how amazing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
1. can you start goats milk in place of formual?<br><br>
2. think about bottle vs sippy cup and start either now (not sure when this tripo would be but you want a long time to get use to bottle or cup and find a cup the dc likes)<br><br>
3. I would pump at least 4 to 6 times a day, or more, as often as you could to maintain supply as best you can while gone. others will know more<br><br>
4, as you know -- start pumping all the tiem now, as many extra pumping times as you can, to stock pile before you leave. even if you are not sure you are going, sdtart the extra stock pileing now it iwll be more milkyou will be putting away, vs is you wiat to start stock piling till you are sure you are going, and thus miss the extra milk you could be putting away.<br><br>
I am sure there are others who know a loooooot more. I jsut had to tell you the tirp sounds amazing and wonderful<br><br>
Aimee
 

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You know, if he weans... which seems inevitable to me after 12 days, you may be able to get him nursing again, especially if your supply is high. I don't know much about it, but I've read other posts about starting up again after a few months, even.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Thanks for your thoughts! I really appreciate it.<br><br>
I would have four months to prepare (pumping, etc). DS already likes to drink out of a normal cup, and when he gets the rare bottle of EBM he is quite happy about it.<br><br>
Any other suggestions about pumping, etc.?<br><br>
Thanks again.
 

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Kids' passports don't cost that much, and likely neither would a temporary child-minder in India, assuming you can't do volunteer work with him strapped to your back. He could fly for nothing. Why not just take him with you?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Thanks for the suggestion, Ravin. Taking DS is not an option, though, for a lot of reasons - the work days would be very long and grueling (this is not a vacation), we would be out in the middle of rural India, I would be working (possibly sometimes directly, wheeling patients around and so on) with people who are going through something wonderful but stressful and at times painful. I don't think it would be fair for the baby or anyone else to bring them into this kind of environment, even if it was allowed, which it is not.<br><br>
In terms of having a complete stranger with whom I cannot communicate (no shared language) watching DS for 12 hours at a time, I don't think I would be comfortable with that either, again, even if I could take DS along.
 

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Is he used to being away from you that much? I would think that 12 days would be an eternity to a one year old. I would not do it.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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All I can tell you is my experience. My first baby, I was willing (and did) leave alone (with his grandmother) for several days during his first year. Gradually I got more and more aware of my baby's needs and how important it was that I fulfilled them... now with baby number 4, this May I will be leaving for five days (at age 2 and 9 months) and it will be our second separation (he visited family with DH at Thanksgiving last year, three days, at age 2 and 3 months, and came back with his first case of rotovirus! talk about guilt!).<br><br>
All I can say is, listen to your heart. You will indeed be causing your baby a hardship, although not a terrible one. Only you know if the benefit you get from this trip will be worth the suffering of your baby (and I say that as gently as I can!). It will be hard for him, but with loving people around him, he'll survive. It's up to you to make the decision whether his difficulty is an adequate price to pay for your adventure.<br><br>
I wouldn't do it, but then again, if you'd asked me 20 years ago, I wouldn't have seen a problem with it at all.<br><br>
This advice is worth exactly what you paid for it!
 

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"Only you know if the benefit you get from this trip will be worth the suffering of your baby (and I say that as gently as I can!)"<br><br>
I think "suffering" may be a bit too strong a word, eh? He would be taken care of by his father, with lots of help from extended family on both sides, people he knows really well, and who love him and know him really well, too. My husband and I went away for three days when DS#1 was just a bit older, and both my husband and I and DS#1 had a great time - no tears, no problems, three happy people at the end of the trip.<br><br>
Now kids living in poverty in rural India with a cleft palate that causes them shame as well as all kinds of practical problems, with no way of fixing it - that, I think perhaps you can say with a little more certainty, is suffering.
 

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Now kids living in poverty in rural India with a cleft palate that causes them shame as well as all kinds of practical problems, with no way of fixing it - that, I think perhaps you can say with a little more certainty, is suffering.</div>
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As a nurse that used to care for cleft palate repairs as part of our patient load...and one that loves other cultures...oh wow i am jealous and would love to do the trip! your babe will likely wean, and you may be able to get him back...but <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"> for a year mama!<br><br>
its really a tough call and that would be so so hard to leave him for 12 days...so pray about it and listen to your heart...what does your instincts say? This may be the most wonderful bonding time for DS and DH. Great things can come from it and i'm glad you have such a supportive family. If you are meant to go, imo, then it will work out for the best and he will hopefully restart when you return. but be prepared...if he does indeed wean, are YOU ok with that?<br><br>
are you going to pump and dump while you are gone? Because maybe you could give your milk to an Indian family? just another thought to make the trip even more special for some family. if you want to keep your supply up pump even if you feel dry, on the same schedule as your USA time every day. If you plan to have him weaned when you return, then only pump when you are engorged.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> and <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> to you mama!
 

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I think you should go -- i think i would go.<br><br>
You must have weighted this loooong and hard. you know your family and your DS and i am sure that you are confident about the trip and DS's 'copeing' or you would not be considering it.<br><br>
Meeting our children's needs is our primary repobinblity as parets of very small children -- however neither we nor our children live in a vacumme... i think the life you are choose to lead, even away from DS for a short time (it is not like you travle all the time like this) can only benifit how you teach DS to live his life.<br><br>
AImee
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>shooflymama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7966669"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think "suffering" may be a bit too strong a word, eh? He would be taken care of by his father, with lots of help from extended family on both sides, people he knows really well, and who love him and know him really well, too.</div>
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No, I don't think it's too strong of a word. If I had left my dd at that age she would have been inconsolable. It would have been very very traumatic for her.<br><br>
BUT, I was the primary caregiver. I did not leave her at all.<br><br>
Perhaps if your child is already used to being away from you 8 hours a day in daycare, this isn't as big of a deal.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I think "suffering" may be a bit too strong a word, eh? He would be taken care of by his father, with lots of help from extended family on both sides, people he knows really well, and who love him and know him really well, too. My husband and I went away for three days when DS#1 was just a bit older, and both my husband and I and DS#1 had a great time - no tears, no problems, three happy people at the end of the trip.</td>
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I am sure as momma you would know if the trip would cause him to suffer and you would not even be considering it.<br><br>
I think we need our kids more than they need up.<br><br>
my little sister has an aunt who adopted a baby girl from china when her "older girl" was 19 months. Sis and i PICKED UP THE GIRL 9WITH MY TWO dn WITH US TOO ) And drove cross couintry to Sister's house where AUnt picked her up after flying back form China 2 weeks later. Aunt Cindy was a MESS with out baby S ... Baby S had a tough time going to bed the first night -- after that she was FINE, happy and content. she asked for her mom a few times (not even daily) and we told her "momma went to get sissy, remmber?" and she'd get all excited and show us a picture of sissy and that was it.<br><br>
EVERY child is diffenret.<br><br>
My son is 17 months now -- and still BF 10+ times day. I know he could not hanlde me going like that (well maybe he could <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> ) so I don't consider it. But you as momma know your son......I am confident that if it would cause suffernting you would not even have considereed the trip.<br><br>
As for pumping, i know you will be busy -- i would pump every single change you get -- even for 5 minutes -- just to try to keep up stim and supply as best you can.<br><br>
Aimee
 
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