[Mom to E and A]

I'm not sure how much I'll get out before I have to stop, but I lost my baby girl 2 weeks ago tomorrow at 36 weeks gestation. I went into labor and there was no heartbeat to be found when I arrived at the hospital. Her cord was wrapped around her neck 5 times and there was a knot in it.
I miss her so much. I'm so sad and angry and frustrated with everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing "too well" but other times I'm jsut a mess and have no desire to do anything but research on the Internet and cry.
I don't know what I'm looking for here, but guess I just needed to get it out in a safe place. Thanks for listening.

 

[Amy&4girls]

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart just breaks for you.

 

[bc1995]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Samaria86]

((hugs)) I am so very sorry for your loss.

 

[Manessa]

Thinking of you. So sorry for your loss

Elise Renee

 

[marinak1977]

I am so sorry for your loss...

 

[MI_Dawn]

Oh mama... the biggest HUG ever for you... I'm so sorry. So very sorry. I wish no one ever had to come here, ever. But the women here are amazingly strong and so supportive, and you'll find - at least I have - that connecting with others who have experienced the loss of a child is some comfort in a world that seems to offer very little...

What was your little girl's name?

 

[NullSet]

I'm so sorry.

Your dd has a beautiful name.

If you ever feel up to sharing pictures of Elise we would love to see them. It's rough in those first days when you want to share but no one wants to see or they don't feel comfortable looking. I know I still carry my dd's pic in my wallet and thus far have never had anyone ask to see her. I wish someone would...

 

[expatmommy]

I'm glad you found us too. This is a hard road & finding companionship along the way makes it just about bearable.

If you ever want to tell us more about your precious daughter, we'd love to hear about her.

 

[MI_Dawn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by apecaut I'm so sorry. Your dd has a beautiful name. If you ever feel up to sharing pictures of Elise we would love to see them. It's rough in those first days when you want to share but no one wants to see or they don't feel comfortable looking. I know I still carry my dd's pic in my wallet and thus far have never had anyone ask to see her. I wish someone would...

That's what I get for not checking sig. lines...

Elise is a beautiful name... And I second the sharing pictures... I have my son's picture as computer wallpaper, and have one in my wallet, too.

 

[Fireflyforever]

I am so very, very sorry that you have needed to find us. My heart breaks every time someone new arrives here. I also lost my baby daughter in labor, 6 months ago and I have found this forum to be a lifeline through some very dark times.

Elise Renee

We are here to listen when you need us and to honor your sweet baby girl with you.

I wish you gentle days as you learn to live without her.

 

[mamacita angelica]

Oh, I wish you weren't here for the reason you are here, but I am really really glad you came. I feel such a sinking pain when I see new people on this board. This is a safe place to talk and get support. Please know that you can always pm me if you need a private ear...I am so so sorry your daughter isn't in your arms where she belongs. It simply is not fair.

Elise

Sending you much love, strength and grounding.

 

[mammabunny]

I'm so sorry.

 

[Vespertina]

I'm so sorry, mama.

My heart goes out to you. Many, many hugs. This is a wonderful group of ladies. I'm sad to see you here, but this is a great place for support. Her name is beautiful!

:

Elise Renee

 

[SMR]

Elise is a beautiful name. I'm so sorry that you aren't holding her right now. I truly hate to see someone new here. I'm glad you found us though. There is amazing support here. I remember feeling lke you.. like I was doing 'too well' at times... it didn't feel right that I could smile, or laugh. It has gotten easier to embrace all my feelings as time went on, and now 7 months later, I cry less and feel happiness more. Our babies are ALWAYS there, in our hearts and in our thoughts.. that doesn't seem to change no matter how long it's been. I'm glad for that.

 

[JayJay]

Oh Kelly, I am so sorry. I remember being where you are. Huge, *HUGE* hugs to you, and so much love, and so many healing vibes. We support one another so much here. I am glad you found us.

Again, *HUGE hugs* xxxxxxXXXXXX

 

[Cheshire]

Thinking of you and your family. We're here when you need us. Though no one would pick to share this road we do have a great group here for support.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Mom to E and A]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MI_Dawn That's what I get for not checking sig. lines... Elise is a beautiful name... And I second the sharing pictures... I have my son's picture as computer wallpaper, and have one in my wallet, too.

I will have to get some "real" pics up on photobucket. i have the "nice" ones on my facebook, but the rest are only on a memory card at the moment.
Actually here are the "touched up" ones...obviously the second is an artist rendition of what she should have looked like, DH loves it, I like it, but it's not what I saw...I prefer this first one, since it is only slightly touched up...
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c6...withclouds.jpg
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c6...4/image001.jpg

I have read some of the blogs in siggys since checking this forum out, and I must say, they are wonderful. Your's in particular...today is the 2 week mark and when you wrote on yours, it is exactly where I am today, thank you for sharing. I wish I could write eloquently enough for people to feel compeled to keep reading, but alas, I write too "mechanically" for blogging.

Anyway, thank you for the welcome, today kinda sucks so I am going back into my black hole to cry some more....

 

[jeliphish]

I'm so sorry mama...

 

[Catubodua]

i'm so sorry for your loss