I had a tubal ligation in Nov. of last year, because I knew with all my heart that I shouldn't bring more children into my marriage - I'm not the mother I would like to be, for many reasons. But it was still an extremely hard choice to make - to know that *that* part of my life was over. I think it's very natural to mourn the fact that you won't have more children. Heck, I'm still going through it, and I have 3 kids as well.
I've been sad on and off since my DH made the choice over a year ago to be "Snipped" I thought it was the right choice for us too but I was probably suffering form a bit of PPD and had a baby who never slept. I started to feel sad about a week after. It just seems so final. But I have two great kids who are healthy and happy. Deep down I think I know that this is the right size for our family.
and although I have my moments where I feel oh so very done
: I still can't grasp the concept that I will never be pregnant again, never have to mull over baby names or feel that little baby moving inside me or rejoice in the empowerment of labor & delivery
This is definitely more DH's decision than mine. We already have more babes then he ever planned and he has not waivered at all.
He has two doctors names and will be making appointments soon to have the vasectomy
I don't agree with his decision, it is against my beliefs in many ways but I respect that he has this choice to make that he feels very strongly about.
I have already warned him that I will be sad and to expect me to go through a period of mourning
From the way it sounds I guess I'm a bit different from the other posters in that I really don't want him to have this done
Gosh, I can relate 100%. I had a tubal ligation after the birth of our third dc in May. I have been mourning the loss of my fertility ever since. This was definately more dh's decision than mine as well...and I would have continued to have children as long as I was blessed with them. I am so blessed by the three I have, but I, too, cannot believe this is our last baby. Everytime I mention her being the last one, or never having another dh always says "I'm so sorry." It just kills me. He really never wants another one (at this point anyway) and it really hurts him that he doesnt feel he can fulfill my desires in this way...it just kills me to hear him say he's sorry!
I thought I was a little nuts for feeling sad there will be no more babies in our house. It was our plan to only have one child, then we got preg with dd, who is a great addition to our family. But I was soooo sure that I did not want to go through another pregnancy!
It's nice to hear that it is normal to mourn the loss of fertility.
Just about everyone I know seems to go threw these emotions when realizing this is it! I only have one and thought most of the time I don't really feel the need for another I get sad that I'll never experience pregnancy again, getting to try for a VBAC and holding a little one in my arms. We conceived through a donor so there are no accidents for us, just our one beautiful girl.
My Dh got snipped six years ago....it almost destroyed our marriage.
We were no longer connected, sex wasn't bad but it WAS different.
: I actually started to hate him.No pun but we were very *cut * off from one another. It was awful. We had most always used NFP & never had an *opps* child.We buckled to social pressure to have sterilization.(dumb us, we already have more then the socially acceptably # of kids & we are raising them well , why we cared I don't know : duh )He got reversed & things are much better.
My 2 cents , for what it is worth
18 years !!!! only feels like fifty!!
ds 16, dd 13, ds 11, dd9, dd6