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MIL is here for a long visit, and of course she couldn't help but notice that DD (17 mos.) calls DH "Grant" instead of "daddy." She was pretty upset about that, and when Dh asked her if he called his dad "Jim," she said, "No, I called him 'daddy' so you guys would too." She told me that I need to call DH 'daddy' and he needs to call me 'mommy.' (Not the first time she's told us this, btw.) I said, "No, he is *not* my daddy, and I'm not going to call him that." Huff huff. DH just shrugs this stuff off, and I am of the opinion that DD will eventually call us mommy and daddy, and I would feel really creepy addressing him as daddy. Ugh. MIL still refers to her husband as 'dad'. Does anyone else do this? I'll refer to him as "your daddy" sometimes when I'm talking to DD, but when I'm hollering at him from across the house, I don't yell, "Daddy! Can you bring me a glass of water?" Like I said, that's just .... disturbing on a very visceral level for me. Anyone else's kids call them by their first names?<br><br>
(DD doesn't call me by my first name; "Damaris" is a little hard for her to pronounce!)
 

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Well, I think anyone interfering with your parenting decisions is out of line. So she's off on this.<br><br>
That said, I'm not comfortable with the idea of my children calling me by my first name. I'm not their friend. I'm their mother. A totally visceral place, the mothering place ...<br><br>
:LOL<br><br>
Anyway, don't let her get to you, and you keep doing what you think is right for your own children.
 

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For sure eventually will call him daddy or what ever name you TWO decide. It's perfectly normal for little ones to call their dads like their moms called them (and you should not call your dh as others want you to, but as you feel comfortable), your MIL should understand it, but I would suggest for you to don't care about her complains and enjoy your dd vocabulary, lol<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br>
Those Inlaws, huh?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:
 

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In agreement with above posters: Butt out Grandma! lol<br><br>
I actually always thought that I'd want my kids to call me by my first name; It *is* my name after all. However, DH calls me Mama to the kids so dd (ds doesn't talk yet) calls me Mama. It just happened that way and I'm fine with it.
 

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My daughter called my husband Matt for a while and then just grew out of it. I think it's just a phase.
 

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I'm always very disturbed when lovers call each other "mother" and "pa" or whatever -- yuck, yuck, yuck. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grossedout.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="gross"> It gives me the ickies. I only refer to my partner as "Daddy" when I'm talking about him in the third person to my daughter: "Go give this to Daddy." My daughter sometimes calls me Mommy and sometimes calls me by my first name. She sometimes calls my partner Daddy and sometimes calls him by his first name. Neither of us is bothered by this. I have always called my own mother by her first name and it has never bothered her, either. (The first time I called my father by his first name it did bother him, so I never did it again. I was careful to say Daddy after that and now I call him Dad.)
 

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Cub calls us Mama and Daddy about half the time, the other half he refers to us as "honey" and "sweetheart" and other such endearments ... wonder where he heard THOSE??? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I think it's darn cute.
 

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I call dh Baba and he calls me Mama...OK and then my mother comes over and keeps bringing up this guy named Daddy.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"> SHE thinks I should get ds to call dh Daddy, because "otherwise he'll go to school and tell everyone he doesn't have a Daddy."<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: Please. He has a ton of cousins who say "Daddy." We use a different word. He's 2 now, and frankly, I think he gets it, anyway. He has also recently "figured out" dh's name--which is kind of funny. He'll say "Baba is ____, ____ is at work." Kind of cool.<br><br>
Anyway, just adding my assent to the BUTT OUT G-MA sentiment.
 

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MIL's can be such a pain! I agree with everyone in that you should do what feels comfortable to you.<br><br>
We often call each other mommy and daddy, but that is because we are so used to referring to each other that way.<br><br>
I don't have a problem with Kailey calling me by my first name, afterall, it is my name. But I also don't see anything sick about spouses calling each other mom and dad. My parents and grandparents did it, and they aren't sick or twisted.
 

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Agreeing with the pps.<br><br>
Ignore grandma, or try always calling her by her first name to see if babe will pick that up<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
I call my dh by his name or honey, etc. When talking with/for the kids, I call him daddy. I say, "go give this to daddy" "go ask daddy for a snack" "oh look daddy's home", etc. Also, if I am modeling how they can ask for something, I will say "daddy, can I have some please" then they repeat. basically when we refer to each other when talking to the kids, we use daddy/mommy, but when talking to each other we use first names or endearments.<br><br>
Somewhere between one and 2 both of them have gone through stages of calling us by our first names, and we never thought a thing of it, it is always funny the first time though. DH would occasionally say, "you call me daddy, please" and they were fine with that.
 

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a few months ago, ds crawled away from daddy, and woke me up by getting right up close to me and yelling "RYNNA!!" i don't want eli calling me by my fisrt name, so i told dh to call me 'mamma'.<br><br>
yesterday, i called dh '______' and eli looked up at him when he came in and said '______!" so he definately knows who we are, but we encourage him to use mamma and daddy. we refer to each other that way when we are talking with ds present or talking to ds, but when he's not right there we call each other by our names.<br><br>
we think it's important for him to understand that different people have different relationships with one another, signified by different names.
 

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My sister and I have always called our parents by their first names. No grand plan, it just worked out that way. It drove my grandparents, especially dh's mom, nuts. I'm sure my mom heard a lot about it. I know I did - my grandma would always take me aside and tell me that I should call them mommy and daddy, but by then it just felt too weird to me.<br><br>
I wouldn't mind if ds called me by my first name, but I would prefer mama. He's not really talking yet, but so far does know me as mama, as he has said it a few times, more lately. He says dada, but has also said dh's name too. I think it's normal as they hear both, and that they will probably fall into mama and dada if that's what they consistently hear them referred to.<br><br>
I too can't call dh daddy, but like other's mentioned, I definitely refer to him as daddy - go give this to daddy, etc.
 

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I agree with some of those above- it is none of MIL's business and just try to ignore her.<br><br>
That said, I always call DH by his name when I am talking to him/ about him with adult friends. But to my nieces and nephews, I have always said, "Go ask Uncle D_" and with dd, if I am talking to her about him, I say "look at daddy" or "I think your daddy is home."<br><br>
But I don't think it is a really big deal. Do what feels comfortable to you.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Potty Diva</i><br><b>My parents and grandparents did it, and they aren't sick or twisted.</b></td>
</tr></table></div>
Just want to clarify that I certainly didn't mean to imply that people who do this are sick or twisted. It just personally gives me the yuckies.
 

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My kids call us mama/Mom and daddy/Dad. They both know our given names as well. I called my parents Mom and Paul (my step-dad who raised me). My little half brother called mom Ma and his dad Paul. My step-dad calls my mother Ma and she calls him...Paul <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
My ILs call each other Lynn and Will (everyone else in the world calls him Bill).<br><br>
My M-grandparents called each other Dad and Polly (short for Pauline, he was the only person in the world to call her that).<br>
I really don't think it matters. If it's not bugging you or dh than go with it. And IMO your MIL needs to butt out and deal...it isn't her business <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">.<br><br>
*editted to add. My kids call my ILs Gran'ma-Baba ("Can we go to Gran'ma-Baba house") and address them seperately as well as Gran'ma and Baba...which is a little weird, as Baba is "Daddy" in Hindi. It's only weird/significant to me because I lived in India for 6 months about 18 before ds#1 was conceived. Ds#1 picked it out of the blue when he was 2 yo and ds#2 has just copied it. My ILs laughed when I told them, but like that they have a special name (even if it does suggest that I am "doing" my FIL.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: )
 

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DS is only 8 months, but DH will never call me Mommy. I just couldn't stand it if he did. I don't mind if tells DS, "Go tell Mommy what you saw today," or something like that, since I am DS's mommy, but I'm DH's wife.<br><br>
I really want my kids to grow up learning about marriage. A marriage relationship is very different than a parent/child relationship, and I want to model those differences to them. If our children ever call us by our first names, we'll just ask them to use Mommy/Daddy. At 17 months, I wouldn't really worry about it. I would just smile and say something like, "I'm your Mommy, not your Amy." If the child were 5, I'd be a bit more serious.
 

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Calling my Dh daddy around my daughter isn't about im being my *daddy* it's more like a term of endearment, much like others use honey, or dear.<br><br>
I also believe in teaching children(when appropriate) about adult relationships.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/oops.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="oops">T Amy, I totally think 8 months is a good time to start. When they're a little older, kids can learn about different relationships but right now he's just learning who his parents are. I don't want my son calling me "Rynna", so I asked dh to call me "Mamma" when he's discussing me in the baby's presence. It's not like he's asking for "Mamma" or doing anything strange like that, and when we're alone or we're not discussing something with the baby, we do call each other by our first names.
 

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Do what you feel comfortable doing.<br><br>
I've never called DH "daddy bring me some water". But when I'm talking to the children it is " give daddy a hug" or he may say " give mommy a kiss". It's when we're talking to the children about one another is the thing IMO. When we talk to each other of course we use our names. Dh did start saying my first name alot when he learned it but like all things it passed.
 

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my daughter (20mo) calls me mom,mommy and calls my husband dad,daddy,Jim or honey...LOL Every once in a while she calls me Heather. My other 2 kids just call us mom/dad, my oldest son, now 9, went through a phase of calling me Heather when he was little. I don't think its a big deal. Sometimes I will say, take this to your daddy or something like that but I dont call him daddy
 
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