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We usually spend Christmas Eve with my parents and Christmas Day with my in-laws. This year things are so bad between my husband and me we're on the brink of divorce and because he's been bad-mouthing me so much to his family that they probably hate me. I could detect a definite attitude shift by my mother in law's tone of voice when she speaks to me on the phone, by the way 2 of my sister-in-laws completely ignored me when we were at a restaurant with his family. One of his sisters hadn't talked to me for yrs because of some stupid petty thing I wasn't even aware she was offended at. I suppose that I'll be ignored at the in-laws house like that again and I'll be upset and uncomfortable. Is that the way to spend Christmas. I told my husband that I won't even let our son to their house because I don't want to spend Christmas alone and he can just be with his family without our son. But I don't want to deprive my son of the fun he would have opening presents there, playing with his cousins, etc. So should I go and bring work to keep me busy? Or should I not go and spend the day lonely at home, or should I go out, perhaps get together with a group of people who don't celebrate Christmas? Or with my family of origin? If and when we do get divorced, I'll have to grapple with this kind of situation again. What is your advice?
 

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Oh, Pony.<br>
Do something that makes you feel better, whatever that is.<br>
I say don't go if it is going to be miserable and things are so bad.<br><br>
I wish you could come over to my house. I don't celebrate XMAS, but we could eat and drink and watch movies or something.
 

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Set it up so ds spends approximately half a day with dh and the in-laws (yes, he'll probably have to miss some part of their get-together to make this work) and ds spends about half of the day with you. Hopefully you and dh can come to some sort of working agreement on this- neither one of you should completely miss out on time with ds on Christmas. (I sure wouldn't go to see the in-laws if it sounded like it would be so uncomfortable.)
 
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