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Set it up so ds spends approximately half a day with dh and the in-laws (yes, he'll probably have to miss some part of their get-together to make this work) and ds spends about half of the day with you. Hopefully you and dh can come to some sort of working agreement on this- neither one of you should completely miss out on time with ds on Christmas. (I sure wouldn't go to see the in-laws if it sounded like it would be so uncomfortable.)
 
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