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I've come to suspect that one of the little girls in DS's Music Together class may be gifted. I really don't know if her mom has the same suspition, but I suspect she hasn't realized that some of the stuff is unusual from the casual way she mentioned it.<br><br>
So, should I drop a hint, or just leave her to figure it out on her own. The girl is <i>very</i> shy, so it's unlikely that many poeple notice.
 

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86 people have looked and none have an opinion!!! I'm very torn.<br><br>
On the one hand, I'm not an expert and could be wrong. She may have figured it out on her own and preffer not to talk about it in front of her DD. It's also not really any of my business.<br><br>
On the other hand, it may help her find resources on highly sensitive and perfectionist tendancies. It also might help her to reasure her DH (she has mentioned his worrying.)<br><br>
Would it have helped you if someone dropped a hint early, or do you think it's something she should really hear from an expert (since <i>I</i> might be wrong.)
 

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It's now 100 people have read, so I'll give it a stab.<br><br>
I'd talk with the mom a few times. Maybe it is someone you could be friends with? Esp. if your DS and DD like each other. (I am thinking future play dates and an ability for like-minded kids who enjoy each other). Then gently broach the topic to the mom.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>eepster</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11635517"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Would it have helped you if someone dropped a hint early, or do you think it's something she should really hear from an expert (since <i>I</i> might be wrong.)</div>
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It would have helped me if someone had suggested DS had real hearing problems. Maybe he wouldn't of been deaf for a year, maybe he wouldn't have speech problems now, maybe... or maybe not. On the other side of the coin, I was able to broach the subject of CIO with a friend who was getting much pressure to do so, and was able to give her "ammunition" and a piece of mind, just by talking and loaning her the book TNCSS. In my friends case, the talking was support, but the book was the "expert."
 

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OK I'll bite. What kind of stuff is she mentioning/treating casually?<br><br>
It seems kind of a personal thing to get into. When you are good friends you can discuss your educational philosophies.
 

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I did.<br><br>
There is a 4 year old child who regularly comes into the library where I work, who I think is gifted (and most likely quite gifted - it is almost glaringly obvious - the vocabulary, reading ability, interests and questions are <i>out of this world!)</i><br><br>
The mother just politely brushed off my words - "oh, we expose him to a lot of books at home". That may be true, but there are lots of kids who are exposed to a lot of stuff at home, and very few act like her son.<br><br>
So, while she brushed me off, maybe I planted a seed. Some people need to hear things more than once and from more than one person to believe. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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i don't see why it's such a big deal unless you think it;s WRONG of her not to be in gifted or that mom has missed something.<br><br>
any mother on the planet would be pleased as punch if someone walked up to her and said "wow your kid is totally great. look at how well she picks up on things. my kid is in this gifted program and maybe yours would enjoy something like that." how is that too personal or rude? of course, maybe the mother knows and just doesn't feel the need to share with everyone in which case she'll probably just say that she knows and tell you why she doesn't make a big deal about it in front of other mothers.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>eepster</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11625156"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've come to suspect that one of the little girls in DS's Music Together class may be gifted. I really don't know if her mom has the same suspition, but I suspect she hasn't realized that some of the stuff is unusual from the casual way she mentioned it.<br><br>
So, should I drop a hint, or just leave her to figure it out on her own. The girl is <i>very</i> shy, so it's unlikely that many poeple notice.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
It depends on what your relationship is with this child and the mother. I'm assuming you aren't teaching the class, is that correct? It would also depend on what age. It could be that the mom already knows and is being casual because she's conscious of the difference. If the girl is her oldest or only she may not know.<br><br>
I knew our oldest was 'very bright', but we hadn't considered gifted. I knew some other parents were uncomfortable hearing about or seeing things she could do but I still didn't suspect giftedness. When she as 4 (almost 5) I was in a parent coffee at her play-based preschool on 'kindergarten readiness' and the teacher was listing off things that kids are expected to learn in K and how kids weren't really ready to learn those things (they lean toward the side of delaying K by a year). I was really confused because DD was doing all those things and more already so I asked about it. The teacher didn't buy it, and said that even if she was doing those things she wouldn't be socially or emotionally ready (but she was). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="headscratch"><br><br>
Afterward another mom approached me and started talking about similarities between our DD's and she was the first person to mention giftedness. I'm recalling now, and I remember feeling really uncomfortable when she said the word 'gifted'. I knew so many people who threw the word around and it seemed like everyone's child was 'gifted'. This mom had done lots of research though and was successfully able to respond to all the things I said to contradict her. (Yea, all that time I had spent around other mom's who were uncomfortable with DD had me making excuses for her intelligence).<br><br>
FWIW the word can be intimidating to some people based on their own perceptions of what gifted is. I was taken aback a bit by that for many reasons. What got to me the most was specifics she gave. At that time DD had stopped drawing, she refused because 'it was never perfect'. We talked about that and her interest in space. DD was/is very interested with space and at the time could list off stars and constellations and was making star charts for fun. She was also obsessed with homophones and homonyms and kept drawing funny pictures (suns' and sons'). Around most mom's who were astonished by this _I_ was very casual, saying it was no different then their kids being able to name dinosaurs because it wasn't something our DD was interested in. The mom who approached had an interesting perspective on kids interests and it was the discussions we had more then the term that really got my mind rolling and changed my perspective. This was our first child and her sister is 3.3 years younger, we had never really compared our DD to another child, sometimes doing that can be a good thing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/tomato.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="tomato">.<br><br>
That conversation I had with her is what brought me over to the gifted threads here and spurred me to do my own research. I'm sure we eventually would have gone down that road ourselves, but it did help hearing from another informed mom who was actually excited about it all. I say if sure, chat with her about it.
 

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I had a mom from a mom's group approach me when ds was 4 -- She noted some highly creative and advanced problem solving behavior that ds was displaying. This was at a time when I was especially concerned with ds' speech delay and behavior (now I know that it was his sensitivities and over-excitabilities,) so instead of noticing the good things, I was more concerned about the not-so-good. She mentioned that she had a book on "advanced" children, and said I could borrow it if I wanted to.<br><br>
About a year later when ds hit the wall in K, I did a little research, borrowed the book from her (James Webb's first book on Gifted Children <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> ) and took it from there. So, she did plant a seed with me in a very good way.<br><br>
We became great friends, and I later found out that she had a elementary degree in education and had specifically studied gifted children as part of her degree. She was also highly gifted, and probably has 2 gifted children of her own.
 
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