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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 3 month old doesn't seem to have much of a routine yet. Basically, she has a morning, afternoon and evening nap but they happen at different times every day. The morning and evening one are always short and the afternoon one is a marathon (in her swing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> ) And bedtime is always different too. People are always asking me "when is her next feeding" or "will she be sleeping then" and I never know. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> Our day is extremely laid back and I just sort of follow what she's indicating. She is a very easy baby and basically only fusses for sleep or food so she's pretty easy for me to figure out. I really don't even know how many times she is up at night to eat. She starts out in her crib and then when she wakes the first time she joins me in bed and for the rest of the night I just nurse her side lying and barely even wake up.<br><br>
Does this sound okay to you or should we be aiming to help her develop more structure?
 

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that's how we did it - it worked for us! now that he's older (2.5) a routine is useful but not at that age, imo. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Sounds perfect to me. She eats when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired. What on earth could be wrong with that? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Sounds perfect to me. She eats when she's hungry and sleeps when she's tired. What on earth could be wrong with that? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
-Angela</div>
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I agree with Angela -- it works for her and it works for you -- sounds perfect! Try not to fret about the questions -- or say her next feeding will be when she is hungry and her next sleep will be when she is tired and they'll most likely stop asking. I think the children will work themselves into a schedule that works for them when they are ready.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> Hello! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br>
My babe is setting her own routine but it is more like she has "sleep windows" and "feeding windows" rather than doing things at the same time every day. :LOL When she was 3mo it was really unpredictable and has recently (she is 7mo) become a little more "structured". I too feed on demand and let her sleep when she is tired. Enjoy your babe and HTH!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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It sounds PERFECT for her age. Feed and sleep on demand. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I guess I just got concerned because the last couple of nights it has been midnight before she's in bed...I tend to stay up at least that late so she may just be getting used to my rhythm but I started to get concerned.
 

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My dd is always up until midnight <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> Hasn't killed her yet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Angela - don't people just freak out when they find that out?? My first wasn't usually up until midnight at this age but she has always been up later than most kids. Then again, we don't usually surface until about 8am either, which is different than most families. SIL always has her kids in bed between 7-8 and talks behind my back all the time about how if we had a more structured schedule it would be better for my kids and they would go to bed earlier and sleep better.
 

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Honestly? Everyone pretty much knows better than to mess with me by now :LOL Really I just shrug and say that she's on our hours and it works for us. I truly have gotten more sleep since she's been born than ever in my life. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> She has always been in our bed. I have never stressed about eating or sleeping. She eats when she's hungry (at 14 months still nearly all mamamilk fwiw- her choice) she sleeps when she's tired. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> I suppose she's an easy baby (and I'm sure the next one will be different <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief"> ) I think a lot of it is just individual to different kids- just like some people like to go to bed early and some like to stay up late. I don't think that there are many univerals with kids. I try to trust kids the same way I'd trust an adult when it comes to their own bodies. Seems logical to me. Every time I've tried to go against that, I've regreted it (boy, I could tell you about 6 futile months when I kept offering solids to an uniterested baby... sigh) Listen to the baby. They're smarter than we are <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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I bet that when she's a little older, a routine will sort of emerge based on her own biological rhythms. That happened with my baby around 3.5-4 months. Then you can start to plan around times that she ordinarily naps - not to make her nap then if she doesn't want to on any particular day, but just to make sure that she's in a situation that's conducive to sleeping around the times she normally likes to sleep.
 
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