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our wee one was just diagnosed as being very hard of hearing and i'm going forth between being in denial and being depressed. just wondering - when you're feeling down about your child's problems - howe much of that do you express in front of him/her? i don;t want to be bawling in front of him all the time & for him to feel bad that he made mama cry, but i know babes can see through fake smiles ...<br><br>
anyway, how did you all deal with this? how do you walk the line between being honest about your feelings and "protecting" your child?
 

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um...therapy?! LOL I'm serious, having a competent adult to talk to about this stuff can help you handle/offload some of these feelings so that you aren't burdening your LO. I wouldn't worry about suppressing all your feelings but having a safe place to get them out will help with not feeling like you're carrying that around all the time.<br><br>
I would also do some talking to folks in the deaf community. The ones I've met are so amazing and it can really help you to see successful, happy adults if some of your fears are about what the future holds for your LO. Most deaf adults I've met are pretty proud of their "community"....I'm sure they would love to help support you during this time.<br><br>
hth<br>
peace,<br>
robyn
 

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letting it out and crying now, is part of your healing. your feelngs are important too. your grief has stages, and you will not be crying constantly for years (unless you develop a mental illness, which I do NOT believe is the case when parents are going through a new diagnosis with their child).<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> sometimes walking into the next room and crying for even just 30 seconds makes me feel a lot better.
 

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Kids, no matter how young, will pick up when mom is distressed. I know this from a child's and a mom's perspective.<br><br>
I do find that allowing yourself to grieve for what you've lost (and receiving a SN's diagnosis of any kind does come with that loss of that child you thought you were going to have) - anyway, you need to grieve for that. But then you need to move on. If you can't move on, I do agree that therapy is good. I'm in therapy for other reasons, but the therapist will ask me how I'm doing with Maura's issues and we'll discuss that and I can vent about doctors, waiting times for appointments, etc, and she gets a lot of it b/c A) she deals with sn kids and B) her son's an Aspie (it was funny, she brought up something he did and I said "Gee, did you think "I should get him checked for Asperger's"?" And she said "Actually, he is." LOL~)<br><br>
You also need to get to the point of acceptance. Accept who your child is. I look at my dd Maura and see this beautiful happy little girl who is so loving and very much loved. I don't see a child with developmental delays, apraxia, ankle braces, low muscle tone, who doesn't talk much. Yes, I know all that is there, I'm aware of it, but it's not my idea of who she is. I'm okay with that she may never be fully independant, but I still hope she will reach that point. I refer to it as "realistically optimistic". I'm also babbling. I'm going to finish my coffee now, lol!
 
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