[mamamay]

I'm wondering if anyone has good advice on dealing with shyness. My ds, 2.5yrs, was a social, outgoing and adventurous kid until fairly recently. Around 2yrs, he started putting his head down when adults (and sometimes other kids) address him. He makes a pouty face, sticking his lower lip out whenever he is getting a lot of attention- even if it's praise. He is definately aware of this face- he tells me "I put my lip out" when he's re-telling the story. We have a new baby in the house, 2mos, and I know that's part of the change in behavior, but it's just not getting any better. We tried a preschool for 2 days- but he cried the entire time and still talks about how it made him "sad." Should a child this age be expected to make eye contact with/greet adults other than mom and dad? I was a very shy child and hated it. I still feel uncomfortable in many situations- I want to eliminate that for him as much as I can. My dh is much more outgoing and social and doesn't understand why I keep refering back to my own childhood.

 

[stirringleaf]

no, i dont think a child that age shold be expected to be social necessarily, especially considering the new baby. kids often regress, as i am sure you know.

my thoughts about it are that 2 days in preschool arent enough to really guage if he would adjust to that or not. i have a very shy son, andi had to put him in child care for a few hours a week this semester ( i am a student part time) and it took him almost two weeks of monday -wed-fri , 2 hours each time, to adjust and stop crying when i left and picked him up. now he looks forward to going and gets excited when we get to his sitters house , whereas before he would cry when we pulled up to her house and say "no no no no!!!"

not to say you SHOULD put him in preschool...my preference for my own son is still to have him at home, even though i love the childcare he is getting. but i do think it has helped him tremedously with his shyness, especially around other kids. he never would play with them before, now he is starting to at least smile and be interested in other kids we see in public. and he will play with the kids he knows. but still , thrusting a shy kid into daycare might not be the best solution for every kid.

i was a shy kid too, and remember it well. i wouldnt push your son too hard....he is still so young and it is so hard to tell if his shyness is just a temporary phase.

maybe invite a child over on your sons own turf and get down on the floor and play a kid game with them, like music, or something, where they dont have to focus on each other, but are still having fun together. my son reacts well to that, the pressure is much less cuz we arent focusing on him, and then he "slips" and interacts in a relaxed way with the other child. seems like a subtle method works better when coaxing shy kids. just my opinion! good luck!!!

oh and p.s. my son gets weirded out sometimes when we praise him too. i think thats a matter of following his cues..and i just quitly smile or beam at him without saying much when i approve of something great he has done ( i constatly experement with how i give him praise--he responds differntly all the time, so i try to be flexible and show excitement sometimes, other times just act casual about it)

 

[Potty Diva]

Kailey is social only when Mark and I address/interact with the adults that want to speak with Kailey. She is shy at first when meeting children, but after I let her know it's ok, she usually jumps right in to play.

We are VERY happy with this, and hope she stays weary of people.

When an adult speaks to her and she doesn't respond we do not push it. I don't feel it's rude, I believe it's safe.

I think the type of shyness you discribe is typical for toddlers, and with having a new baby in the house.