[blue heron]

We have a 4yo and a 15 mo and things really feel out of control. I did pull a muscle in my back this week and am in pain which isn't helping. Our 4 yo wants to do things a lot of the time that the 15 mo wants to destroy - play with trains, make puzzles, dominoes. There's no where in our house that the 15 mo can't get up on to (that ds1 can play on). Ds1 does not want to be alone in another part of the house to play so ds2 doesn't destroy. Once ds2 gets his hands on something, ds1 usually starts yelling and then ds2 starts throwing stuff and often hits ds1 in the head. I try desperately to get ds2 interested in different stuff or play with him along side of big brother, but it often doesn't work, and I can't be there every minute. Ds2 is much more of a thrower, hitter and breaker than ds1 and I don't feel like I'm very good at dealing with it. Also, I don't know how to talk to ds1 about the fact that ds2 just isn't very able to control himself yet, but he'll over time (he will won't he?!!)
Any advice on any of this would be greatly appreciated. Any good books on sibling stuff? I just got out Silbings without Rivalry to read again.

 

[trebleme]

Well, I don't know how you feel about this, but one of things we tried to do when my older DD turned 3 and my younger DD was just shy of one was to use a gated play area for the older child. We were given this beautiful wooden doll house with lots of tiny things that were total choking hazards for the littler one, so to give our older DD the space to play and still be with the rest of us (because she really doesn't like to be alone yet) we put up an octagonal gate around the dollhouse. Plenty of room for her and us when we play with her, and the littler DD can't get in.

Now, this was NOT foolproof, because of course, anything off limits to younger DD was instantly of more interest to her. However, distraction and extra attention to her was helpful in the beginning and now it's of less interest...most days...

Good luck, momma. I'll be curious to see what others suggest.

Sharon

 

[SugarAndSun]

I have the same problems. DS1 doesn't want to go play alone, but gets frustrated playing with ds2. I would love to hear advice too.

 

[gingerstar]

I know what you mean, having gone through it twice. It is hard on everyone!
We wound up either having the older child go into the bedroom and shut the door for alone play, or work at the counter.
One thing that seemed to help a little is to have something the little one loves to do, that you only do when the older one needs time alone. It could be playdough, or water play, fingerpaints.... I'm sure there are other type things, but those worked for us, sometimes....
Good luck, mama, this is hard.

 

[sun-shine01]

Same boat here - what works for us is my DD loves to do arts & crafts so now she gets to be on the front porch alone. She gets her space and likes being big enough to be outside without a parent.