Sibling Rivalry

675 Views 6 Replies 5 Participants Last post by spudisle, Jul 13, 2004

spudisle

Discussion Starter · Jun 24, 2004

Please help! (I'm new here, so I hope this is the right forum)

Our 4 year old has become very angry with his 10 month old brother. Up until about a month ago, he was the best big brother to "his baby." Lately, he will pinch the baby's cheeks, "pat" him on the head (really it's much harder than a pat), push him away, and call him stupid. I asked him why he would do those things and use words he doesn't know the meaning of and he replied that he doesn't like the baby. (Apparently he heard DW say stupid on Arthur).

At any rate, we have decreased his PBS time from 60-90 minutes a day, to 30-60 minutes a day (and no more Arthur). I understand that he is angry because his little brother is mobile now (cruise crawling, walking along furniture) and try to keep him away from his toys/projects/etc. I just don't know how to deal with the constant negative physical contact and hurtful words. Does anyone have any experience with this? Any insight or advice would be extremely appreciated.

TIA,
~Tamara~

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Alkenny

· #2 · Jun 24, 2004

Experience? Yes! Advice? Haven't found anything that works yet. And mine are now 11 and almost 9.

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Evan&Anna's_Mom

· #3 · Jun 24, 2004

All I have is sympathy too. Oh yeah, and the fact that for us, it got worse as little sister got more and more able to get into his stuff. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Let's hope that someone has found some solutions.

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root*children

· #4 · Jun 24, 2004

Read 'Siblings Without Rivalry' by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish. Your library may have it.

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spudisle

Discussion Starter · #5 · Jun 24, 2004

Thank you for your replies! It's comforting to know that I am not alone.

dready*mama, thank you for the book recommendation. I just reserved a copy at my local library

Hopefully it will be just the thing!

Cheers,
~Tamara~

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napless

· #6 · Jun 25, 2004

We had a similar experience: all was well until little brother got mobile enough to get into big brother's stuff.

I agree with the book recommendation. It has made a big difference in our lives!!!! The techniques are practical and easy to implement, and they really work!

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spudisle

Discussion Starter · #7 · Jul 13, 2004

Hello again! I just wanted to say thank you for the support here and the Siblings Without Rivalry book recommendation! The book has definitely given dh and I a better understanding of what is going on with our ds1. In doing so, we are having a much easier time by just using the proper verbal skills! We still have a ways to go, but I just wanted to check in and say thanks again!
~Tamara~

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