Mothering Forum banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,186 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Moms who have an older child with an SID diagnosis who bf that child, what was weaning like? Did you just let your child self-wean, or did you decide to wean at a certain age?<br><br>
I ask this not because I'm thinking of weaning, but because I'm really sick of people acting like I need to wean ds (he's only 16 mos. for crying out loud). EN issues aside, I think it would be even more traumatic to wean him before he's ready (I've been planning on letting him self-wean) BECAUSE of his SID.<br><br>
Nursing is one of the few things I have that I know will comfort him about 99.5% of the time, especially when he's had a frustrating day. Is there any research on weaning special needs children before they're ready being traumatic, or the extra benefits of EN a special needs child?<br><br>
I'm so sick and tired of people saying "I can't believe you're still nursing." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Sometimes our society really irks me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
18,562 Posts
I think you should tell those people to take a hike! What do they know about you and your child? I think it's great that you are going to let him self-wean.<br><br>
My oldest was bottle-nursed but I let her self-wean. She did it much earlier than I expected at 17 mos.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
307 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I'm so sick and tired of people saying "I can't believe you're still nursing."</td>
</tr></table></div>
How about replying, "I can't believe you have the nerve to say that to me!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
Seriously - my DD1 nursed until well after her second birthday, and I more or less let her self-wean. I worked a bit to help her drop her last nursing session at bedtime, just because we had been TTC for a long time and I wanted to eliminate any possible reason for the trouble we'd been having. That went OK, but I tried night weaning several times before giving up and realizing that it wasn't going to happen until she was ready - so I think you're absolutely right that your DS needs to keep nursing.<br><br>
I know that my tactile-seeking child really needed the comfort she got from nursing, especially from nighttime nursing and snuggling. I was quieter than I'd like to have been when people questioned me. Now that I have a second child, I'm a lot snippier about things like this, and I won't hesitate to tell people to mind their own business.<br><br>
Hugs to you. Ignore it the best you can - you do what you and your baby need, and don't worry about anyone else. They'll forget about it soon enough.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,192 Posts
My son's still nursing... His OT's totally on board with it and says that it helps him receive the oral stim he needs, and also helps him to calm down and regulate himself. So, noone else can say anything because nursing's part of his therapy... :LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,186 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Plus, my dh wants to start ttc another baby (my period has returned and is very regular, so I'm not worried about fertility), and the LAST thing I need to do is WEAN my son when another baby is coming...talk about trauma!!!<br><br>
I just think of all the children who would benefit from EN and child led weaning, special needs children would benefit even more.<br><br>
Ugh. I need to print out that list on kellymom of snarky comebacks when people ask you when you're going to wean. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,175 Posts
DS was weaned at 26 months. I was not totally ready, but DH and I had to go away for a weekend without DS (it was a wedding we were both in, on a boat, and DS was better off at home with Gramma). He did great for those 3 days without us. I brought my pump in case I needed it, and the second night when I started feeling full, I realized I forgot a part. Yikes! I was stressed but by the 3rd day, there was very little pressure, so I wonder how much milk I had at that point.<br><br>
When we came home, DS wanted to nurse and DH really pushed us to wean. He said that DS was fine for those 3 days, but I was not ready. (DH was never on board with EN - he thinks very mainstream sometimes) After lots of tears, I told him that I could not cut it off cold turkey, so we agreed to one nursing a day (at night). That week, DS nursed a day, didnt ask a day, nursed a day. By the end of the week, he had stopped asking. I wonder if my low supply was a factor.<br><br>
So weaning was a little stressful. but ultimately I think he was close to being ready. Since then, DS is very tactile seeking. When we sit and snuggle, he wants us to rub his legs, scratch his back, rub his arms. When he hurts himself, I give him lots of kisses and snuggles to replace the nursing. We rock a lot in the rocking chair.<br><br>
DS does have issues with hitting/grabbing and pushing, so we are still working on those. But he had those issues as a young toddler (15 mos on) even when he was nursing, so obviously he has some additional sensory needs that are not being met.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,205 Posts

Finch<br> I just think of all the children who would benefit from EN and child led weaning said:
<br><br>
I've wondered this alot. dd doesn't have a dx but it's probably near SID. I feel that some dc just need AP stuff while others could care less and some just don't want it. dd is still nursing but has gone down to once every other day. I think she truly needs it. I totally see he weaning without my encouragement, it's just taking longer than most.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
826 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AllyRae</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My son's still nursing... His OT's totally on board with it and says that it helps him receive the oral stim he needs, and also helps him to calm down and regulate himself. So, noone else can say anything because nursing's part of his therapy... :LOL</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Just want to second this. My youngest is still nursing at 32 months and the Early Childhood people think it's great -- especially the OT and the SLP.<br><br>
Regarding TTC -- all of my kids have special needs (including SID) and all self-weaned. My oldest self-weaned when he was 20 months because the flavor of my milk changed when I was pregnant, and he didn't like it. No trauma for him. My daughter did not wean when I was pregnant, and I tandem nursed until she self-weaned at 30 months. Again, no trauma.<br><br>
As far as rude people, I sometimes stare at them until they become uncomfortable enough to fill the silence (and dig themselves in deeper) or until the lightbulb goes off that makes them realize they were rude. Either way, I don't have to think of a response. Silence can be a weapon.<br><br>
Tara
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,353 Posts
Ds self weaned about 3 months after his second b-day. I never pushed him to wean, but by his second b-day he was down to just one or two nursings a day. When I got pregnant again and my supply dropped way off he kind of just gave it up. At first it dropped back to nursing once a day or once every other day until one day I realized he hadn't asked for nursies in several days. He is almost four now, and every once in a while when he notices my breasts he will ask to nurse, but he doesn't remember how and just makes sucking noises. I do miss the time we shared nursing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
170 Posts
zane nursed until he was about 18 months and we were told i had to wean- i was pg with dd, and high risk. he was ready. he nursed for the last time at my grandma's- a nice end to it.<br><br>
dd was another story. she has mild sid, and did not want to wean. i had to wean to go on meds for migraines, so i left for 10 days. i wish i hadn't, as the meds aren't working well and 18 months later i am still producing milk.<br><br>
nurse as long as you need to. after all, it is you child, your body and your choice.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,186 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks for all the kind words, I printed out that "comebacks to criticism" list that's on kellymom and posted it on my fridge last night. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I don't mind nursing. I enjoy my special relationship with my son. It's something I struggled to get started and looked forward to the entire time I was pregnant. I have no problem continuing to nurse, but sometimes just need a little extra "ammo" in my corner to repel the ignorance of others.<br><br>
Especially now that we know he has SID, and also is speech delayed AND the greatest problem area with his SID is feeding, I think bf is of utmost importance.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,595 Posts
My dd's ( one aspergers and SID the other SID with tics a slight possibility tourette's) are 4.7 and are still nursing. I have had to put up alot of boundaries because I am having a hard time of nursing these days. I do not see them weaning on thier own any time soon. The fact that they are SNK is really one of the driving forces to keep it up. I see how they need it. It is the only time of day that they slow down enough and breath a deep fulfilling sigh. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> They are busy girls!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
459 Posts
My daughter has not been diagnosed with SID, but she has so many of the characteristics that I read about here that I have been able to help my friend with her son who has been diagnosed with it just by telling her what I have done to survive life with my daughter. I tried to wean her when she was 3 years old and she became very withdrawn and depressed so after 2 weeks I gave up. At four years old I was nursing her 3 month old baby sister and her and I talked to her about weaning and she agreed to it and we had no problems. She asked for it a couple of times after that in times of extreme burnout (vacation to another province for a 100th birthday, you can imagine the relatives!), but I simply reminded her of our agreement and we cuddled instead. I must say though, that without nursing her I don't know how I would have survived being her mother. I had never heard of SID until recently and had no idea why she was so......hard to parent. When I nursed her everything else stopped and I could just relax for a moment and love her the way I so wanted to (I'm crying now remembering how difficult it was when I just wanted to hold her and comfort her and she would just fight me, I thought she hated me for so long). I hope you can ind a way to do what feels right for you and to just remeber that they are not the ones who have to live life with your child without the sedation of breastmilk. I used to call it "the gift of instant silence".
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top